it's time ( Read more... )

i am better than how you make me feel.
i am not who i am when i think about you.

i'm ready to get out of here...call it running away, call it an escape...i call it necessary.

i hope my silence hurts more than all those words i screamed.

i know her. i fucking know her. she wasn't random. and i do know her. probably more than you do.

why does it hurt more every day when it should be hurting less?

i don't know what's going on with me right now.
confusion.
one minute i'm livin' the high life and the next minute i'm a mess.
i wish i knew what i wanted. or how to get it.

the days where i take time off, for myself, are the hardest.

almost immediately after my last entry, it happened.
i just crashed.
and skipped class, called in sick to work, and helped finish up an $8 gallon jug of carlo rossi before 7:00 pm....yup.
so confused. so afraid. so messed up.
i just don't even know.

someone likened me to a battery the other day. they said i just keep going and going ( Read more... )

are you happier now?
i have a lot of happy substitutes.
i miss you.
i hate it.
i blame myself.
i don't understand what happened.
you can't explain it to me.
i need answers.
i can't talk to you.
so i write in here.
i can't decide which one of us is the bigger fool.

"and i'm alright, i'm gonna make it even if i have to fake it."

i'm tired of you getting everything you want.

i just wish i had taken myself away before you stopped wanting me.