its different im not used to being kept in such a small room with phone buzzing off the hook for hours at a time. the only chance to get a break is to put them on privacy mode and hope that no one catches you. the lady in here with me keeps me entertained for the most part. it would be miserable in here just by myself. its only been about two weeks ( Read more... )

When I wake up i lean my head over the bed and wait for my dog to come over. This morning i dont give a shit about anything. what i really wanted was to was to sit on the couch and write in my blog. its been deleted. this whole week has been nothing of what i wanted. chris and his family are in town and all i want is a moment to myself. the worst ( Read more... )

Im terrified of the day Chris is coming home. I know hes going to be home for a while but everday is a day closer to him leaving for Iraq. Of course I'm excited for going back to Vegas but its not the same if hes not going to be there with me. Its not like he was there with me all the while but its not the same. Being married for this long and it ( Read more... )

so im sitting here on my couch wondering what the hell have i been doing with my time? its been almost two years since school got out and all i can think about is when i can go back. its funny being married.. life looks different and laugh a lot more. differnet things of course. i dont know i feel a little meloncholy about it all. it hits me every ( Read more... )

It seems as of late everything that I have said or done has been utterly wrong. It doesn't help that I'm writting here and not in my journal. It feels almost tainted at the moment. I can't bring myself to do it. I don't know. I think its the fact that Chris and I are both on edge about the house and getting married. His mom getting pissy with me ( Read more... )

So i'm married, have boyfriend in iraq and a toy on the side to pass the time. thats a whole lot to pass in just one sentence. fuck one day i should really write a book. haha i could call it the many men in life. thats kinda cheesy huh ( Read more... )

im soo over powered by life right now. the stupid flashing light at the bottom of my screen tells me that i have  a comment  is really starting to irritate me. i cant get over the fact that im married. i dont know if it was a huge mistake yet. im waiting jsut like val for it to blow up in my face. i cant handle this. chris wants me to get a divorce ( Read more... )

in a little bit (when i get my lazy ass up and get dressed) val and kristie are coming to get me to go play laser tag with lars (the d.j. i work with) juan (lars's friend and kristie's new love interest) ad lars's other friend. well heres the thing the last time i went to go hang out with lars, asked if it was ok to kiss me. of corse it wasnt but i ( Read more... )

i got off of work at 2, hung out with lars the d.j. and a friend juan for a while. afterwards me and val head to denny's for 3am hot coco (love these nights). i start talking about how we went to the v-bar the other night. lars works there on thursdays. i had such a good time and lars took a pic that was of just me and him. i told val how im going ( Read more... )

i hate him.
he makes me so mad. 
if he only knew that this was for him.
no matter what happens i will always love him.
so all i can say is that..
i hope eveything turns out well.