The best feeling in the entire world is taking a lunch time nap in bed after you've been in the ocean and beach all morning. When you wake up, you are tan , salty, raw, and beautiful. I really need this to be an every day thing for me. I really want this to be the best year of my life.

I did a sea salt colon cleanse today, and was bummed my shit didn't look like the scary sea monsters it said it would. I felt so much better all afternoon and was productive....then I had a bagel and cream cheese, mustard, lox, pickles, and bbq chips with orange soda for dinner. I'm either drunk eating while sober on a daily basis, pregnant, or ( Read more... )

Everyone's a building burning
With no one to put the fire out
Standing at the window looking out
Waiting for time to burn us down
Everyone's an ocean drowning
With no one really to show how
They might get a little better air
If they turned themselves into a cloud

I am totally stuck with my art. My last crit sucked because my work sucked. I thought I was getting somewhere with one new piece and everyone pretty much told me to jump ship. I now have NO Idea where I should be going with my work, and I am freaking out. I have a drawing due Friday that is supposed to be in our show on December 5. I have no ( Read more... )

As much as I hate this feeling I don't want to forget it. Although I really feel I am finally in a place where I am able to control the amount that I DONT drink, once I start to drink, I still cannot stop, and I don't have control over my actions. Think about it Cory.

Thursday:
9:30 pilates
clean
2:45 hair
studio

Friday:
11:00 facial
studio
tv on the radio

Saturday:
studio

Sunday:
studio

Monday:
8:30-3:30 drawing into print (crit, 3 prints for class due)
studio

Tuesday:
mid-term crit for studio.

Wednesday:
breathe.

If you're not already on my inner circle, you never will be.
I'm pretty sure I'm done ever opening myself up to anyone that I haven't already.
Perhaps this will change with time, but I don't really see it changing any time in the near future.

I feel weird in my own skin.

I cannot fully explain what I am going through or what I am feeling through words, but I feel as though I am on the verge of no return.

I'm on the verge of learning one of the hardest lessons in my 22 years: Love is not always enough.

Why is it that I am forever emotionally unavaiable to the people who would jump in front of a bus for me, and the people who aren't emotionally available to me, I pine over in really fucked up ways? Working at the art gallery 6 hours a day by myself is really starting to mess with my mind.