I blocked him and defriended him. I wonder how long it will take for him to notice. And how angry he wil be. And then how much he will beg me to take it back.

I miss you and I miss you. I REALLY miss you and in some ways I REALLY miss you. Just differently. My heart still aches everyday for Ryan. Every single day.

I'm gonna wear you down, I'm gonna make you see, I'm gonna get to you, you're gonna give into me. I'm gonna start a fire, you're gonna feel the heat, I'm gonna burn for you, you're gonna melt for me. Come on, come on, into my arms, come on, come on., give in to me...

My heart is set on you, I don't want no one else, and if you don't want me, I guess ( Read more... )

Snow day!!!! Although its already noon and I've wasted away half of it sleeping because I wanted to rest. But I'm about to make some breakfast/lunch, dig out the cars, and get started on my to do list. I had some really weird dreams including me lashing out at Julie and throwing some sort of slushie type drink all over her....only in my dreams ( Read more... )

It's absurd, who you love and why, and how you can't turn it off when you desperately want to.

No matter what gender you are, and no matter what gender(s) you are interested in, you will always go through liking somebody, and them not liking you back. It’s not you, it’s them. There’s nothing you can do about it besides accept it and be able to deal with rejection, and to be able to know when the time is right to give up on somebody.

( Read more... )

I felt something catch in my throat, a sudden surge of sadness that caught me unaware. It almost managed to take my breath away. That was the thing; you never got used to it. You never got used to the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's okay, and you think you've accepted it, someone points it out to you, and it hits you all over ( Read more... )

I've been considering writing letters to people in here that I will never actually send. I want to right one to Ryan, but I'm not ready yet. Its evident that I'm still dealing with the loss and grief pretty heavily. So instead I think I'm going to start with Jim.

I think you're scared. I don't think its a matter of me not being the right one or any of the rest of the girls not being the right one. I do have to admit that I think I am the right one. But, I think what it really comes down to is you being scared. You are afraid of what will happen if you do let yourself be happy, be vulnerable again. You're ( Read more... )

You're off the hook. I've never really put much faith in all that 'if you love someone, set them free' crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment, but I am determined to be happy. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always-- I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right. And ( Read more... )