Panic panic panic panic panic. Fuck school. When I'm done, I'm done.

The difference is that this time, it was just physical, not emotional. And I kinda didn't want to do it to begin with.... 😕

I used to smile so hard when he would say anything sweet... now I'm completely capable of looking at the same words without any emotions. That can't be a good sign.

I dreamt of all the exs last night, and of all of them, I clung to John.... He was the only one that I felt never did me wrong. Drew was mentioned but didn't show up. Cause I feel like that's his thing. He's always busy.  I want to tell him but I feel like it's just chipping away at him.

So I feel like I've worn out my friends. I've spoken too much of the negative things and don't want to annoy them with the positives, so now I'm in a position where they don't like him and it's kinda all my fault. And now that we're about to start couples counseling, this blog might be the only thing I have to turn to... to keep friends from ( Read more... )

" At some point, when you're ready, I'd like to sit down and talk to you. There are still a few things on my chest that I'd like to talk to you about. Thanksgiving is booked for me, but whenever you come back over Christmas or if you're in town earlier let me know. "

It's always on your time. Let's be real here...

Still angry
Still sad
Still void
Still numb
Still relieved
Still breathless
Still can't stop crying

I've never felt my heart beat so hard.... I've never felt so numb.... I've never felt this bruised and broken...

well done...

(Not to change the subject.... but....) I've cried every day. I've caught myself unable to breathe.... Every day... I know this is final because I've never dragged out like this...

Only the select few...

I don't get the moment, on one knee, promising me happily ever after... I get a guy that was full of shit.