life is much different now, but it is also better. my son makes me indescribably happy. time is moving fast. too fast. in a week, he will be four months old. it is hard to let pass every beautiful moment with him. but i feel good about all of this. i am where i belong and i am ready and excited for more.


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(paraphrased from another entry)

my lip quivers, heart shivers,
i've been used and misused again
by your deception, my misconceptions.
thought i was full but suddenly i'm starving.
alone and empty once again.
can't take anything for granted.

9 days left.....


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it's only a matter of days now until my eyes finally meet yours, when i can tell you how much i love you, how much you have changed me, saved me, healed me. i was meant for this. to create you, to love you, to take care of you and help you become who you are meant to be. i can't wait to hold and kiss you. you are my miracle, a blessing that i once ( Read more... )

i stood there for a moment looking at him. he came over and stood beside me. i reached down slowly and slid my hands around his body. he seemed so used to my hands being there. so i decided i might as well tell him. i wasn’t sure how he’d take it, after all these years; and then he started to smile. i hadn’t expected anything like this. i ( Read more... )

here i am, still awake when i should have been sleeping hours ago. i hear the geese outside my window. they are a family and they will go together as a family, away from the cold ( Read more... )