Had not realized how beautiful I've grown until looking through ancient artifacts of emails. Such a strange and vain sounding thing to say. Maturity is wonderful though ( Read more... )

Bright bright is the grass in the meadow. Bright bright is the ancient teaching ( Read more... )

5 days. Hard to believe I'm going anywhere out of the ordinary, this feels so natural. Hard to believe I won't see these faces for a while. It's the end of a chapter for me. The in between girl and woman stage. I remember when I used to wish and wonder about this. I still am not the woman I'll be, but at least I've met her ( Read more... )

Make that two weeks. In two weeks I will be in New York.

What's life together going to be like? I don't know, but it seems as if the puzzle pieces fit.

I will probably never again know life as I know it now. It'll be like a dream, but I don't mind. It's time to grow up and put my childhood behind me.

I am always expecting his heart to change. I suppose because I've never had one before. I've been given emotions, that feigned dedication, and of course they changed in the blink of an eye. I suppose I kept an upper hand because I never so much as pretended that I gave it all away. It wouldn't be worth faking. I just let people give me their "all ( Read more... )

Attempting to update from my phone because I need to vent. Maybe if this works I can do it more often ( Read more... )

Well half of my last entry disappeared, which is really disappointing. But at least I got the thought sorted out in my head. I feel better ( Read more... )

Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood.

You'll hurt her. You'll never forgive her.
Of course I'll forgive her. I *have* forgiven her. Without forgiveness we're savages. You're drowning.

Deception is brutal, I'm not pretending otherwise.

I know who you are. I love you. I love everything about you that hurts.

Work is crap, but I feel stronger for doing it. Strange that I should use the chaos to fulfill my dreams of one day having a peaceful life. Life has rarely ever been peaceful, as far back as I can remember. When it has it was in my solitude; as my heart was aching for a friend I began to understand life as a person standing in the middle of rush ( Read more... )

your absence has gone through me like a needle
everything I do is stitched with its colorSometimes the days seem prosaic. My mind urges my body to go elsewhere, and when she ignores it refuses to oblige the simplest tasks. Sometimes I sit, unable to do anything but blink. It seems only natural: by now I am conscious of the marriage of my soul and ( Read more... )