My heart is anywhere but here,
and how tired I was from the past couple of weeks,
From the past couple of years.
Well, it hit me all at once,
On a balcony overlooking nothing,
With snow falling all around,Well I, I called just to say "Goodnight".
And you hadn't done anything wrong,
And know, really, really, it's me not you.


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out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
I'll wear those shoes and you will wear that dress.


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That I'd torn out ashamed that one day you'd look.
Afraid that once you did you'd really know how it felt
to be a sucker on a string that you dragged around wherever you'd go.


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its weird.
not feeling anything.
nothing at all.

what a funny list this will be:

David Lee
TJ
Andy
Jason
Matt
Andrew
Joe
Dave
Kevin
James
Jay

All the guys i've even kissed + more. but we wont go there.

All of them, a waste of my fucking time.
apparently.

its time i stop caring about everything.
i need to focus on me.
what i want, what i need,
is probably to move!

this was never my home,
its just where i grew up.

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But god does it feel soo good
cause i got it,
what i wanted right now!

im leaving
this time for good

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i asked for $25 for the cpt, and i got it.
i asked for alittle more to buy some clothes for when i go on vacation, and i got $100 more.
I asked for my birthday that he pay my $120 car insurance. Got it.

dang man, if only i knew this whole (almost) 19 years that my dad was such a pushover with money, i would have actually asked for some.