Reality.
Reality.
    Reality

What the fuck is reality?

Where does reality lie?

Fantasy

Fantasy

Fantasy

That's a better place to live, because reality won't work- maybe that's what he realised.

Why did everything have to be complicated?

My fantasticalreality is ..... non existent

I've never been a strong person.

I am a well liked person

But I hate myself.

The hatred grows stronger and stronger each day at the moment.

I can't work out how in the fuck I got to be this fucking self destructive.

I just don't know what to do when things are good. 
I need a reason to fuck them up.

I am angry at myself. I'm angry at you because I'm ( Read more... )

Seriously.

Again.

How does this keep happening? How do I keep lending myself to these sort of compromising positions? Do I encourage it? Attract it? Do I ask for it?

Why do I keep letting it happen?

The worst thing is I can't tear myself away, because it's so validating. And that is sickening. That I STILL need to be validated. That I am still ( Read more... )

I have spent so many years consumed by this. Ignoring it, passing it off as other things, surviving it and using self destructive measures to diffuse it.
I'm so sick of it. It's time to be an adult and take control of it head on, because it affects my relationships, my ability to conduct myself maturely and professionally and will affect my ability ( Read more... )

How easy is regression ( Read more... )

Why on earth to insist on re-reading old journal entries?
I must be so self obsessed.
It's interesting to see where I've come from.
All these messed up relationships have contributed to me becoming everything I am
(for better or worse)

There's so much volatility within my livejournal posts ( Read more... )

I knew this was coming ( Read more... )

I lost myself somewhere ( Read more... )

Where did you go?
I think I lost you somewhere along the way...
I can't find you.
I don't like it.
The balance has shifted and we've lost the status quo.
Come back please...
I don't like you being lost.
I can't hear you. Can't see you.