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Box o' Fortune Cookies says...
"One of these days you will realize how futile your life really is."
Eguh?! O_o
...*quietly disposes of the rest without reading them* -
Contingency planning at its [not so] finest.
My company is making some big plans. Very big plans. For the entire company. And those plans will need to go into effect soon. There's one caveat, and it's in the above sentences. See it ( Read more... ) -
Leap day should be bigger.
I wanted to wish everyone a happy Leap Day and remind you that the next won't be for another 4 years.
Just think about where you were your last Leap Day. Or think about the first one you remember.
...mwahahahaha! -
Those poor, poor people.
I just realized, 14 hours too late, that last night, all those waterbenders were fucked. -
To Lunch or Not to Lunch
I am taking this banana, and with it, my own life, into my hands. ...and having it for lunch.
Some people wonder why this is such a feat. Some people don't fear the banana. For me, eating a banana is like going skydiving with a random backpack which may or may not contain a parachute: thrilling, with the possibility of a very messy ending.
Best ( Read more... ) -
Band Names FTW
Never Say Pancakes ( Read more... ) -
Fames fortuna iuvat
Me: *nabs a leftover fortune cookie from the lunchroom*
Fortune cookie: "Treat yourself to something special today!"
Me: *noshing* "Yuck. Obviously not you."
Fortune cookie: "70 85 67 75 69 82."
Me: "Lucky numbers my foot. ...wait, did you just call me a fucker in ASCII?"
...No, I don't know latin, so that may very well say, "Fortune favors the -
BESM 3rd - Mis
Mis, God of Misunderstandings
Also known as the Creator of Confusion, the Daemon of Delusion, the Maker of Mistakes, Mis, God of Misunderstandings, is responsible for more social schisms than skin color, more embarrassment than Flie, the trickster god of pants, and more wars than the God of Religion.
Mis delights in causing confusion: sowing ( Read more... ) -
BESM 3rd Edition - Blobbington 23
Life isn't all fun and games. Except if you're a genetically engineered blob of pulsing, telekinetic, purple goo in a glass bowl, created as a slave race, with your pleasure center hardwired to "constant orgasm," even if you're telepathically running a 24-hour refueling dock on an remote asteroid on the edge of known civilization and live on the ( Read more... ) -
The niceties.
Me: *looks at the window* Ah, my arch-nemesis, we meet again...
Writing: *hauls himself up onto the sill, brandishing a rapier in his black fencing gloves* I've finally caught up to you. It's been too long.
Me: Funny, it seems you're never that far behind--
Writing: *interrupts* You cannot escape me, you languid bog-sloth. *steps into the room*
Me ( Read more... )