I feel like throwing my laptop, and my phone, and hitting some walls, I don't feel like murdering anyone, especially not her, I still love her too much. I never want to throw my laptop, ever, throughout all the problems I've had with it, but as I read that message, then skim read it a second time, my stress level goes up, and my blood pressure and ( Read more... )

and currently in Wien, travelling through a bit of europe, on way to romania/moldova for xmas and ukraine for new year,xiao for now

Ryan,x

23 years,150 friends,100000 songs listened to,and #1 to me,yet nothing to...her,things have been said and done,that people regret,and people can apoligise all for nothing,yet one person realises that,they didn't know it was going to be so hard on their own,im sorry K,x

...The depressive state one can get in at such a place is unbelievably and insignificantly annoying, the fact one could stand at a wall all day long, and not be able to go outside the castle, you might say, is the complete opposite of pure bliss. The idea of home air, and the smell of home-cooking, small individual things of seeing the view from ( Read more... )

an answer to a question that only one person would probably be able to answer,but wont answer,seeing things now that are scary and wondering why things happen like this,why are people like this when we can get through it and their is so much more,it kills me inside this fact of dishonesty and the untrusting result from people i love and care about, ( Read more... )

So a new entry in to my lj and its 6-7 am and i cant sleep, and as it looms ever near to christmas,think its 13 days to be 'exact', and it's as if nothing is actually happening, people are getting happier, more cheery and I am not one of these people, shocking I know :-0. gotta love sarcasm,lol, and when I try to think of things that are serious ( Read more... )

I am sorry for you Charlie, hope things work out and remember you've got me, hope you remember to share me though, and you cheer up, and if you do go to London before the end of the year, maybe we can meet up.

so...yer,things are...i dont kno,things going through my head fucking with me i guess,not sure whats going on or what to think or what to do,everything seems...not positive,maybe that is good old ryan walker for you,i dont kno and i probably dont care,but ya kno what something really annoying me,well not annoying me but probably more bugging me, ( Read more... )

I thought about my birthday next year,will be my 21st,thought about a party...then i thought a party worthy of a 21st birthday,so now im thinking more,and thinking...hmmm,music would be good,live music is better,and so I am going to ask some bands if they are willing to play for free,in the middle of nowhere for hopefully a fair few people,with ( Read more... )

ok,so i feel like shit and thought maybe i should start typing up these things ive written in my books,now ive got two books and written things in the front and back of each,so each post will be one book,and either the front or back,as to where to start,now that i do not know,i think the only way i am able to do this is BECAUSE i feel like crap, ( Read more... )