i yearn for something that i can never have, (or at least i believe that i can never have it).
which makes the obstacle even more difficult to get past, because the obstacle is my own mindset.
i can't even think clearly at this point. i feel like i should've never left.

these last few months of solidarity gave way to this terrible emptiness. you can be your own person, independently happy and such. but you can't deny when you feel as if someone completes you. when someone brightens you. all the confidence in the world couldn't compare to that. i know someone has to agree with me, or else they'd actually be happy ( Read more... )

i have a car now. it was my grandma's and my dad drove it for a little whle. which obviously means that he hit our concrete wall about 10 times, so my mom's boyfriend will repair the scratches for me. i should make him a cake. i graduate in 15 days, i'm nervous. i keep thinking about college and i'm worried about making friends. i'm such a socially ( Read more... )

i can't wait for the summer, i honestly can't. i'm not plagued by schoolwork, in fact i don't find school to be too much of a chore lately. i just want to feel that humidity at 10 pm and take a roadtrip with jacky. i want to go fishing, i've never done that before. i really want to go to six flags hah, i just want to ride a roller coaster. it'd be ( Read more... )

so basically, i'm losing my job after spring break. I'm going up to vermont to visit katie the 15th-18th and then the night i get back i'm leaving to go visit my brother in virginia until saturday night or sunday morning. i put in the request form for the days off and my manager had me come in the office and told me that he couldn't approve those ( Read more... )

i'm quiting cyberquest because i hate the casino. i also hate the smell of stale smoke, kids who say excuse me five times in a row, angry ripped off parents, wedding rings that are so blinged out that i see jesus eyes, eight year olds who want me to break four twenty's, and so so much more. but now is the task of finding another job. which will ( Read more... )

all of my fish are dead, besides the clown fish, which is pretty close to dropping ( Read more... )

here's something great:

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO CASTLETON!
yeah, yeah, yeahyeahyeah
i'm doing my little dance
i am so unbelievably excited.

i'm getting a haircut wednesday ( Read more... )

i'm single and i feel like i'm almost ok with that. I'm about half an inch from being ok with that ( Read more... )