cant decide if i want to write this.. or post it. im terrified to even mention it, and i feel like i've said too much to too many people already. 

 oh sweetheart, put the bottle down... you've got too much talent. i see you through those bloodshot eyes, there's a cure you've found it ( Read more... )

i've thought about killing myself more times than i can count this week.
i feel useless.
i feel worthless.
i feel unwanted.
i feel unloved.

i feel unnecessary.

i've cried myself to sleep more times than are allowed this week,
i feel weak.
i feel used.
i feel lost.
i feel angry.

i feel like the people i love, i dont matter to.

(( and the only reason i write ( Read more... )

i don't care if i have to resort to stripping.

i can't fucking live with you anymore.

Apparently Facebook has noticed that we aren't speaking. And haven't been for two months. It keeps telling me to 'share my news' with you or just 'say hi'.

fuck that.

i hope you fight it just as hard as i do.
i shouldn't have been that easy to leave. (god knows you're not)

i hate you.

yes. i'm trying to hurt you and make you jealous.
yes. i know you're furious.
yes. i'm doing it because you started it.

yes. i'm better at it than you.

it's a long way 'til august. remember that.

no matter how bad i got that night ... you should have been able to handle me ( Read more... )

don't know how i convinced myself you'd be even remotely interested.

i'm the best actress i know.
i'm so good, i even fool myself.

STOP FUCKING CRYING YOU IDIOT! YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF! YOU ALWAYS DO! GET OVER IT!

so i had a dream last night. about you. our friends had just walked out of the room . i was sitting on a bed and you got up and turned off the light. next thing i knew, your hands were on my face and we were kissing. i woke up right then, smiling. i was immediately disappointed when opened my eyes and realized the person kissing my neck wasn't you ( Read more... )