http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/

Read that.

Related news, I need to learn how to stand up for myself. I am submissive in almost all the ways that are discussed in the previously linked blog post and it makes me

we all live
with goodbyes on our lips
and we all die alone
even after we've laid the bricks
and built up our
monuments to folly
and false achievement
even bronzed idols
can melt.
leather cracks
and crumbles.
the same as these walls
the same as the castles
we built as children.

i am many things. awkward, introverted, messy, lazy, creative, anxious, fat, loving, friendly, loud, strong-willed, scared, nervous, caring, intelligent, nerdy. I read quickly. I am good at problem-solving, and terrible at math. I love role playing games. I hate the social pressure i feel to be thin. I hate the social pressure i feel to fall into a ( Read more... )

Is there anything wrong with repressing key aspects of your personality to benefit your current situation ( Read more... )

you know how sometimes you're really hungry and you just need to eat, so you get fast food that you don't really like(for me, subway) just so your stomach will stop growling? And then you eat, and an hour later you wish you hadn't? and you go "wow, did i really just eat that? i am stupid and i never learn my lesson ( Read more... )

there are
floodlights
handcuffs
sirens in your eyes

calling down the thunder
from the deepest
greyest
skies

the hail
has flayed
my skin from bone

the mocking wind
lies "you are
alone"

I struggle with myself on a daily basis about my future. What I am going to choose to do with myself. I have gone from talking about going to school for creative writing to cosmetology to business to vet tech stuff, and none of it feels right. Ever. It's just stuff I say to please those around me and make them chill out ( Read more... )

it is within
a vicious daytime
nighttime cycle
that i begin to see

what is really going on underneath.

the sharks and stars are both
grinning, madly.
at how we've become stuck
in each other.
thorns in paws

the stars and sharks
both fail to realize
that for some
thorns are the desired outcome.

this whisper/thread of what you are thinking ( Read more... )

i am very bad at being present in the moment.

i am always somewhere else in my head, it seems. any ideas on how to fix this?