weve been walking down this road for some time...together...but there is just so many things turning...wheels grinding...behind these eyes...i feel like i have so much on my plate...so much deciding to do...and yet i just dont want to...i want like a specific path...but its not totally a bad thing to have so many pathways i can travel down towards ( Read more... )

often i ponder how the influence of those around us makes us who we are as we sit in the now...do the choice decisions of others mold us into something we werent quite ready to become?...i live vicariously through the experiences of others and gain great insight into the world unseen by doing so...my personality/sense of humor/habits/form of speech ( Read more... )

i wanted to feel yet im so numb inside...i have no idea how to feel and have been unable to speak my mind for sometime...when will i stop being the victim?...when will i truly find men in my life who will not desert me for a piece of ass or play me for money rides, roofs over their heads, an escape from reality, etc.?...when?...i dunno how much ( Read more... )

as i sit and stare at the tv...the reality of what i have become starts to take over...short of breath a foggy outlook takes over...as if what is going on around me isnt enough...im starting to break apart inside...and i kno i bitch and complain about the same shit all the time...but i feel like things just arent how they should be...i am so ( Read more... )

theres a level of uncomfort built within the zone...the zone being my level of understanding and trust within many individuals around me...i think this is ultra personified by lack of trust in certain individuals which has cost me my relationships with many as of recent...i feel i am a good person but im slipping into the bad...the bad is realized ( Read more... )

there was once this open door that led to this beautifully open minded individual and his thoughts...seeing people as people and listening to the wisdom everyone had to offer and returning the favor...that door has since closed and the detour can be routed to my cold and blackening heart...i look at people now with disdain and the feeling of vom ( Read more... )

imagine all the people...they all stand there...waiting to have a say in ur life...will it be positive or will it indeed be negative?...it is amazing what people will say and get u to believe and how ur heart will tell ur head the complete opposite of what is in fact the truth...the truth hurts...actually it really stings...like alcohol on an open ( Read more... )

but why do i feel this party's over?...hmmm i really do feel like i need to run and hide the last few months since my bday have been a growing period of which i have learned to be a drunken mess...look like an ass...spend tons of money...and basically become the celebrity i am without the personal stylist and nagging paps around me...what is it i ( Read more... )

so this week was pretty interesting...the start of school...the creation of some new friendships...and the struggle to stay afloat financially as i try to once again go back to school in the midst of gaining a career in the corporate world...so needless to say this week has been stressful but for the right reasons...ive never really thought much ( Read more... )

only here in this state of mind can i truly understand that which is the gay community...not only are they a disgusting creature...but me and the likes prey on that on which we cannot have before time deems it time to do so...theres a spell captured upon the modern gay man...one of upity angst...and smelly dick syndrome...theres no one person in ( Read more... )