OMFG. im going insane!!!

why is there this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach? it's not butterflies. it's not love.

...... it feels more like worrying about nothing and abandonment.

i want somebody to hold me and reassure me that everything will be fine. i feel so lost and so lonely.

its currently 7:38 am in the morning and im still awake. been up though. like i spent the night at corey's, didnt fall asleep til 3 or later. but woke up at 3:30 and been awake since then. so im not getting very much sleep right now. cant really help it but whatever. im not tired yet ( Read more... )

this weekend hit me pretty hard. ive come to realize many things.

it all hit me when caley imed me at about 12:40 sunday night of November 23. she imed me, telling me about her idea of getting the same tattoo together on my 18th birthday and i told her i was beind indecisinve still about what and where kind of tattoos im getting.

ID EAT YOU (12:35:01 ( Read more... )

so i absolutely hate today. school sucked ass and people are retarded!

the frist three hours is what made my day a complete hell.

yea, im not going to mention first hour cuz im pretty sure people can read this and start talking shit to me or whatever. so... ill just leave that alone. >___<

2nd hour is culinary. today, we had this guy named daryl come ( Read more... )

i think time calls for a blog. -keep in mind. everytime i make a state with brakets [   ] its what runs through my head most of the time ( Read more... )

*sigh* its amazing how lonely a person can get.

i never knew how hard it would be to let someone that you love so much go away. i never knew that i could love a person this much or even possibly be this happy. i want to spend every morning, night, moment of my life with him. everytime i spend time with him i feel as though nothing could go wrong. ( Read more... )

uh. currently, im happy with life.

work has been slow. i only worked 2 days this week. unfortunately. =| but otherwise, its okie i guess.

school's almost starting up. i got my schedule monday, but i got a chance to change it today.

for now i have,

1. marching band- showich
2. culinary- wheeler
3. adv. bio [i had no other choice. i had to fill this spot ( Read more... )

eh whatev.

im happy and content with life. i have nothing to complain about at the moment. im no longer miserable and in complete hatred.

leaving for band camp sunday then coming home friday. yay. =]

there's a couple of things im looking foward to in band camp. and that would be!

+ strutting my good looks at the fashion show [sarcasm! i want a gorilla ( Read more... )

ive never been so terrified in my whole entire life. ive never been so unsure of things before. nor have i ever been this hurt.

at first, i was scared. but not so much. i would ask myself, "am i doing the right thing? if i do fall in love with you, please dont hurt me. if i give my heart to you, i must be sure that you love me. please dont break my ( Read more... )

i  hate this feeling.

i hate feeling lonely. somethings wrong and i know it. but... i dont know if i can handle something like this. this is something i havent dealt with for a while.

i know something is wrong. i hate knowing late at night that i did something wrong or made someone unhappy. or most of all, made myself unhappy.

am i happy or unhappy? i ( Read more... )