god, i don't care what anybody says!

[xxphoenix]

why do i keep eating?! i swear to fucking god, in this sweat & strangled rage, i barely fucking eat but a few pretzels & a bowl of soup a day is too much, it's all too much, a single piece of gum is too much because EVERYTHING HAS CALORIES! sugars, carbs, that SATURATED FAT that we all know & HATE; everything i do is wrong! it's not enough to stop

Comments

[wonderingsparow]

whats your goal?

[xxphoenix]

my goal is self-satisfacton.

too much to ask?

[nyhorsegirl]

you do know that if you stop eating you will also stop losing weight? cuz your body goes into hibernation mode and it will store the fat rather than shed it. its like hair if you dont cut it for a long time, it will stop growing...

[xxphoenix]

it's better to think i'm doing something than just sit there & not do anything at all.

[fakingit]

don't be a total lameass.

[xxphoenix]

i thought i already was.

...besides, what's it matter?
my life means nothing to you, or almost anyone else. i'm just trying to be someone i could tolerate.

[hecatelila]

the easy ways arent the best ways, but i shouldnt talk, if you wanna talk, well i've been here

[xxphoenix]

actually...the easy ways work quite well for me. i'd go as far as to say that they're the best...

besides, who here plans on living forever?
if i can't have a life i love, i'm not exactly desperate to have one at all.

[hecatelila]

good point, but do you really love it, or have you put your expectations below you

[xxphoenix]

i'm telling myself i love it.

...i'm not going to break that illusion, or i'm scared i might know too well what'll happen.

erm

[btrflygurl7]

and I thought you looked great..but OK...

Re: erm

[xxphoenix]

thanks, sweetie.

it's not like i just starve forever, you know?
i'm just trying to keep a measure of control that i know works for my body.

Re: erm

[btrflygurl7]

um....food is good. das est true....*eat some butter*