I wonder how you will feel when she finally walks away. You dont think it will happen. You've got her around your finger. Isn't cruel how you use her so and call it friendship? You know she's crazy about you, she'd die just so you could live. You abuse it well. It's clever how you do it. All the lies and the hiding of evidence. Though ( Read more... )

Well here I am I suppose. I'm tired. Chris called and had me go downstairs to talk to me and we don't say much. The usual. Still tired from DC. I wanna get those pics developed. There is a very small heater thing downstairs that i'm liking. warmth. I'm getting sort of numb emotionally from everything. It's always such a struggle when you ( Read more... )

I am trying to move on with my life. I pray a lot for God to just let me forget and to move on. I am in search of happiness and sometimes I feel that I will never find it. It is hard to try to move on with my life with so many memories. Friendly's, Olive Garden, playing pool, bowling, the waterbury and milford mall, VIP, and so many other ( Read more... )

I don't have much to say. I can't sleep so I'm up. I am worried about all the work that's going to have to be done by today at some point in time. If I go to school. I know I will probably. Keeping myself busy is harder than I thought. I am managing, which is a good thing. I will learn in due time to accept. It is a time to close a chapter ( Read more... )

I try to just cope with things and keep myself busy. There's not much to do. I wish he would just get some of his things from my house so I can hope to think of him less. I'm never gonna understand why things ended. He refuses to tell me. After a year and three months you get pretty attached and it hurts the most when people ask you how your ( Read more... )

There is so much I wish I could have told him as I choked back my tears and collected my things from his house. I want to know Why things happened out as they did. He offered no explanation. It hurts me so much to think about him and everything around me is of him. As I sit here I wear the hoodie he bought me and the socks I borrowed. Memories ( Read more... )

I've changed in a million and one ways since I completed this survey last. Time for an update and I'm bored ( Read more... )

Heh well I'm at Chris's house. It's like 2:00pm. I'm so bored it's not even funny. All i know is that tomorrow he best get his check and pay Rent-a-center. i dun want them calling my house. If he had slept when he got home instead of going online to shimlar, among other things, then he would have gotten his check. Bah. I dunno why I care. It's ( Read more... )

Well i started writing the story of my relationship w/ chris. i think i need to as part of the heeling processs. i dunno i just feel like i have to do it. I'm adding false things in. I dont' need to. but i will say that it's tough. i wish i had someone to go over it w/ me. tell me if there was something i missed. Who the fuck am I kidding i ( Read more... )

I started writing the story of my relationship in a black binder. It's amazingly hard to do. I've got 3 pages one-sided. I think my story is interesting enough. I haven't added anything, it doesn't need that. I'm trying to just live and writing helps a bit w/ that. I just wish I had someone to read it or listen to what it says. But i don't ( Read more... )