RenIchi - Longing

[yamitoyoru]

Title: Longing (any ideas for a better one?)
Pairing: RenIchi
Genre: Romance
Rating: M?
Words: 417
Warning: mentions of sex
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.
AN: It was supposed to be longer, but I'm not good enough. The piece just beat me to a pulp and left gasping for more words and I simply gave up. I was wondering 'bout making

Comments

[beautifvl_flaw]

It was worth posting! Definitely. You got the urgency and passion across very well.

...fingers raking skin and leaving red tracks in their wake, leaving proof of a night that scorched them to the core. This is just gorgeous.

Just one thing I spotted, in the second paragraph I think 'weary' should be 'wary'.

[yamitoyoru]

Thank you! I was beginning to wonder whether I should keep writing RenIchi or ditch it completely (and throw away my notes).

Ah, yeah. On it. Thanks for pointing it out!

WE MEET AGAIN!

[spikykun]

What the. Dude. This is fantastic. I think everything you tried to emphasis came across very well; their desperation, the urgency, how they make each other fucking crazy, shit, just look at that: This time faster and harder and oh so fucking better as they didn't have to worry about the creaking bed. or or or They were lost in each other and it burned so good, the flame hotter than a thousand Suns. OMNOMNOMNOM.
And you know I gotta point out this, my fucking favorite: No matter how tight the embrace was, how deep it was, even though there was no air to breathe with left there would always be a gap that made something in them roar, that made them tighten their hold. It was so fucking good I kept staring at it. THAT's how intense RenIchi is. You did a wonderful job :D
You rounded it off nicely too. sjdfsag I just liked it so much and it didn't even hit 500. ♥

Drabble series makes me tingly *____*

Re: WE MEET AGAIN!

[yamitoyoru]

I'm starting to think that I write RenIchi only to get a review from you XD. And that's why I'm willing to make a whole series of drabbles =P.

I had problems with the ending, 'cause I had so much more to say and yet I couldn't find the words to phrase it well enough. So I'm not really satisfied with this. But hearing you say you liked it that much made all the effort and frustration worth it.

Thank you!

[madrona_8]

"Strands of red hair were pulled to get them closer and closer still, but it would never be close enough." Yeah, that. How you want to be so close to someone you want them to be part of you and you them...it just got me.
And for that first line about the bitten lip. We know who is doing that without you telling us.
I'm melting, it's soooo good.

[yamitoyoru]

Haha, Renji and Ichi are quite easy to read.

Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!

[yamitoyoru]

Thank you!
Desperation is one of my favorites to write about if I don't have to fight my muse for words ^^;;. And I think that desperation fits RI well.

[maru_d_kusanagi]

Lovely! So simple an yet so deep... you made a great job. I really enjoyed your short fic, it would be nice if you ever do something more, but don't feel pushed. thank you for sharing it!!!!

[yamitoyoru]

Ah, I like it simple and deep ^^(despite all my bitching how this isn't what it was supposed to be ^^;;). And next time I'll try to deliver something better.
Thank you!