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[yazoo66]

 I am so tired. I'm so tired of being alone and being rejected and being lost. I wonder sometimes why I've gone to all the trouble to change and become a healthier, better person. For what? Just so I can say "Well, I'm a healthier, better person?"  A year ago I was miserable because I was a out-of-control alcoholic, teetering on the vergoe suicide

Comments

[mirukail]

I wrote you a poem. I'm not that good at poetry but I hope it makes you feel better.

Finding your way blindly;
starting anew.
wishing for someone to find you
and help you through.

If only someone would stop
and offer you a hand,
it wouldn't be so hard.
Can't they all understand?

I want you to understand
that despite having just met
I'll reach out my hand
and allow you to forget.

I know it's hard sometimes
and you just want it to end;
When you feel the need to cry
I want to be a friend

[yazoo66]

i don't know what to say. thank you. you are very sweet. and i think you're pretty good at poetry, it made me cry. thank you.

brit

[seductionjunkie]

I hate hate HATE it when someone tells me that they know exactly how I feel and they don't have a fuckin' CLUE, so I'm going to show you the respect of not saying I know exactly how you feel. BUt I DID go through a period of time where I was suicidal and angry and distraught, I'd met the woman i thought was my other half, my soulmate. I couldn't imagine life without her, didn't want to wake up without her. It was shortly after my dad died and I wasn't emotionally stable as it was, but I hadn't mourned or grived, it was bottled up inside me, so I didn't even realize how unstable I was. This girl ripped me apart, showing some so much affection at the beginning, then pulling it all back piece by agonizing piece. She told me she was in love with me, and less than 30 days later she told me she'd made a mistake, and that she wasn't. Even after that, I was addicted to her, and feeling the loss of my dad made her loss so much harder to bear. When she actually broke it all off with me, she didn't even tell me in person, she sent me a

[yazoo66]

Aw, D, I am so sorry-for both your losses. I know I am not alone as far as the pain goes. People break up all the time, I guess. And you're right, she was no good for me even if she didn't break up with me for that reason. isn't it funny how we tend to remember only the good things in a person who has let us go? I can't recall, unless I really try all the nasty things, well, of course the break up, it was just like yours, I almost shit when i read what you wrote. So, so similar. I know I can do better and I think a good portion of my pain is bound up in ALL the losses and letting go I have done over the last 9 months to stay clean and get sober. And the loss of a dream. I want to be married (even if it is illegal ;) and she had promised me this. then it was gone. You know, I'm pretty smart and I have been through some therapy and 6 months of rehab, I understand myslef fairly well now. I know I am not too OLD for anything but my wicked little heart likes to tell me I am too old to find love, only the young get what they need *blah,

[seductionjunkie]

Thank you, B :) My dad always liked you. He was the best, best man i've ever known, and I couldn't have asked for a better father. I'm just sorry that I wasn't a better son

[seductionjunkie]

OH, and you should get xbox Live and Grand Theft Auto 4 !! you won't have time to be lonely, you'll be online with John and Me and a bunch of my friends all blowing the shit out of pedestrians, and driving cop cars through malls and launching ourselves out of helicopters at 10,000 feet in the air :)

[tsepnraiynag]

I understand, in my own way! Congrats on your 9 months!

[yazoo66]

thank you!