I'm interested in someone 9 years older than me and I feel like he thinks I'm a kid or something. That's a bummer. I'm really stressed and things keep happening that just add to it. I'm really trying not to focus on these stressors. Trying to make to do lists and take things one at a time. I still need to tell trent I like him. Janine made out with ( Read more... )

It's 6:04 am.I'm up at an ungodly hour and get to go hang out with high school girls. Color me excited. I miss Brian. I hung out with Leif yesterday and cried on his chest. I went to sleep at like 9:30 or something and I'm still tired. I get the feeling I'm going to be tired for a year. Ach! Thrill-ride!I also kind of feel like I'm not so much fun ( Read more... )

It has been eons since I last wrote. So, so very much has occurred since then. Luke and Laura got married. My dad got married. I turned 22. I got a DWAI and probation. Mary Jo and Jared broke up. I'm not allowed to hang out with Jared anymore. I finished Nail technology. Still have yet to get my license. I work at a bar. BeautyBar Denver. I do ( Read more... )

What the fuck is wrong with you? Who the fuck do you think you are? I really cared for you. My affection for you was growing. I was willing to give you a second chance and you destroyed that in one fell swoop. God knows why I cared. You asked me all the time why I cared. You say you put so much into me. You didn't give me shit. All you did was take ( Read more... )

been having self esteem issues lately. That's one thing I've always had a problem with. That somehow making tons of typos when I'm telling a story. More importantly, I wanted to write down this dream before I forget it ( Read more... )

So, recently (within the past two months) I looked up my former step siblings on myspace. I don't know why, but I want to see how they're doing. I definitely don't want to talk to them. I just want to see pictures of them and see if they're the same as I remember them. (I think I'm secretly hoping they got fat.) Somewhere inside me I think I'm ( Read more... )

Now this song doesn't describe how I feel to a T, but it comes pretty close. But I realize that I've only celebrated christmas with one boyfriend ( Read more... )

Having just read my sister's journal, I realized that I worry about mostly trivial things. About my best friend being mad at me. About not being able to buy christmas presents for the people I care about. About not being able to hang out with friends. But I as I think about it, maybe that's how I stay sane. If I don't think about all the bigger ( Read more... )

I just finished reading all of my old entries. I used to write a lot more. I also used to be an angsty self-centered little bitch. I was so self-righteous and cynical. I don't even know why I was so cynical. I'd like to think I'm a nicer better person now. But, my god, was I ever self-centered. For shit's sake man. It was bad.

I feel so inadequate, or rather, that what I think and say and feel is inadequate. I thought I was doing okay, but recent events have exposed my worm-eaten inside. I guess I'm just good at pretending I'm not sad. Or just really deep in denial. Some petty, minuscule ocurrance set me off. I know I'm not the only person who feels isolated and ( Read more... )