i woke up at two
thinking of you ..
i checked my phone
and i'm still alone..

i tossed and turned
felt my heart burn
i closed my eyes
and then i realized

(again.)

it won't happen this year
oh no more tears
only drunken truths
and sober lies
and the bearable pain
of being alive

a care package for you..

a care package for me?

i care for you

but do you care for me?

it doesn't matter to you

it matters to me...

you matter to me

but do i matter to you?

i tell you matter of factly

"i have a care package for you"

and you tell me carefully

"thank you. this matters to me"

i talked to someone the other day and she told me something that hit me.."let go of the idea of  sayang..."

everyone has somehow been telling me this in their own way and i know i've also told myself this a million times..but when she said it, it was as if someone pinched me at that most sensitive part of your inner thigh. ouch.

sayang has come and ( Read more... )

people who know me know how obsessive and stubborn i am.  i am not going to make the stars an excuse why i am.  i just am ( Read more... )

I was back to where i was a few months ago, sleeping no earlier than 1am.  With a stress-filled week and a myriad of memories  on my shoulders, i lost myself in dreamland -- a little early for a friday night ( Read more... )

To Be With You by David Archuleta ( Read more... )

A few days before I wrote this, I was watching Love Actually.  I was inspired by placard boy, the guy who was in love with his best friends wife (Kiera Knightley).  Being the romantic I am, I came up with my version but instead of placards I will send a series of text messages:

message 1:
There're so many things to say. But I’ll keep it simple: I ( Read more... )

last night i watched a movie. gripping. i was on the edge of my seat. then out of nowhere, like a falling star, the idea of holding your hand flashed in the darkness of my mind. it was no longer about the movie, it was you. an all familiar sensation snaked around my chest. and i remembered that day when i couldn't tell our fingers apart ( Read more... )

i am sad and disappointed
i lost control of myself. 
it takes 2 to tango.
a choice is a choice, a decision is a decision. 
i dug a hole but instead of climbing out, i choose to sit in the ditch and wait for the right time to climb out.  because if i climb out too early, i just might fall back in again.

some days are better than others.  i'm beginning to hate tuesdays.  i want to sleep and wake up to wednesday already.  no, that's not true, i want to sleep and wake up to february ( Read more... )