Steve has this game he likes to play with the cat. He'll take an empty box from a 12-pack of Pepsi cans, hold it so the open end is facing the cat, and furtively scratch the outside opposite end of the box, causing the cat to plunge his beefy 16 lb body (minus the wide-set hips and ample cat buttcheeks) into the narrow box to investigate what is ( Read more... )

I am doing Cabaret in South Hadley starting next week!
I have a third interview at the insurance company this afternoon!
I can hear Tim having sex upstairs!

Paying $2.95 for a ringtone of "I'm N Love (Wit' a Stripper)" that doesn't even contain the chorus.

Luar and I present: One Dozen Ben & Jerry's Flavors That Might Have Been

12. Half Baked Ziti
11. Risky Whiskey
10. Name That Tuna
9. Pesto Change-O
8. Boisterous Oysterus
7. Wurst Case Scenario
6. Tabasco Fiasco
5. Sloth, Wrath & Chutney
4. Gefilte Phish Phood
3. Beef Lo Mein-ia
2. Deaf, Blind & Dumplings
1. Hey-O, Mayo!

I just pooped green. Not even "poop green"; it was nearly turquoise. I woke up Luar to come look at it, because I have never pooped that color before, and may never again. I just had to show it to someone.

I am simply mad about syntax. I just need more literature on whether there is such a thing as "noun movement." I'm trying to write a paper where I lay out a theory suggesting that pronouns and proper nouns are not DPs; just NPs that behave in such a way that they cannot be embedded in a DP where the determiner position is filled ( Read more... )

springtime is like a big sloppy makeout session with a seventh-graderOne thing I always hated was reading poems about the four seasons. Especially springtime. I think the seasons are one of the most boring things anyone could ever write about, and poems about springtime have always annoyed me the most because it's the season most rife with trite ( Read more... )

This is basically what the best day ever looks like ( Read more... )

I'm about to miss the Daily Show, 1am. So let's talk quickly. Mainly, I have a job shooting someone's wedding video tomorrow, and I am very, very nervous. I'd meant to drop some cash on a long-life camera battery this week, but I never found time and I ended up doublepaying my cable bill instead. And these people have paid me up front. I'm really ( Read more... )

Let's take a break from all of this and just skip town, ok ( Read more... )