Sex as a means of escape

[yogioflight]

I have never admitted this to you before, because to be honest I’ve always felt to shamed. I can only discuss this now because I have recently made some progress in dealing with this issue.

I think most people can identify with feeling down or disturbed and seeking to rectify these feelings by pleasing the body in some way.

For many it is with food

Comments

[odyssey_spirit]

Yeah, that was totally the case for me in high school as well. Now it's 95% often just sexual tension to release, rather than general tension. Perhaps needless to say, I really enjoy my time spent that way -- it has barely any of the baggage that a lot of people seem to have, nor do I find my fantasies disgraceful or uncomfortable anymore, and I don't *depend* on it for escape from reality. Inappropriate excessive indulgence (because it distracts me from things I really NEED to do right then) happens sometimes, though, maybe once a month. For general tension I use massage or avoidance of sensory stimulation, or less healthily junk foods or alcohol. Thankfully the last two have little visible effect, the amount I do them.

[yogioflight]

I am pleased things are good for you.
sex can be reduced to an unhealthy way of avoiding emotional pain, instead of a wonderful playful and loving act

[spacegirl74]

It needs love.

Can't sex be love for the mind, as well?

[yogioflight]

"Can't sex be love for the mind, as well?"

Yes, if we have love in our hearts, we can be playful with erotic thoughts but I'm talking about a situation where instead of love there is needyness, needyness is all about grabing and is ugly. With love in our hearts we are full and can give joy and pleasure to others and ourselves, I'm not saying that sex is bad.
But a person can never get enough of what they don’t want, so if they are using sex to end their need for more love in they hearts, they are not going to solve the problem.
In my experience, sex degenerates into something more and more base when it becomes a habit to avoid dealing with the real problem, which in my case has been not enough love in my heart.
I liken it to using alcohol, those who choose alcohol as their method of escape find that gradually they need more and more of it. And what was once a good experience turns less good.
Thankfully I seem to have reached a turning point in my life where I feel this fullness that I've been searching for.