I CANNOT GET ALONG WITH COLORED PEOPLE.

Discuss.

Look, one way or another, you're leaving this place covered in semen. Might as well have some fun.

Be Well.

I wrote my toast about a year ago. I told you I knew they were getting married, didn't I? I had it perfected. It was a construction of patient, calculating labor. It was a pure, clean, merciless instrument of satire, sarcasm, self-loathing, filial love, erotic love, pansexual love, prison love, metaphor, Trogdor, Denethor, denotation, connotation, ( Read more... )

One day when I get really really rich I'm going to own an amusement park. And in this amusement park I'll create a ride. You'll step into a room that opens into a long straight hallway of pitch blackness. The kind of darkness where you can't see anything and even when your eyes begin to focus, you still can't make much out. You'll walk and walk and ( Read more... )

No.

It's actually a prison term they use for when you put a blanket over a squealer's head so he can't identify you when you beat him with a pipe.

If you promise to make no one rich, i'd make you four foot tall and bullet proof.

Be Well.

Oh my god ( Read more... )

AHAHAHAHA

Rest of the week of fuckers.

Just say you never met me...

Be well.

I went in for OT earlier tonight at work and then it started raining. The basement areas flooded and the parking lot looked like the fucking apocalypse. Also, 20 out 21 cells went down so there was literally nothing to do. I could have stayed and talked to Brittany(I went through training with her) but she...well....let's just say a little of her ( Read more... )

As disgusting as it sounds, I think it would be awesome to laugh so hard that you shit yourself.

Yeah.

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing!

Be well.

Entry entry entry.

Goddamn it, I have nothing.

1/2 a fucking day at work. Three cheers for 4 1/2 days off!

No man is equal.

Bee Wheel.

Here's what I don't get ( Read more... )