things are good. i dunno. why am i even writing in here? i guess i just like to document my life at random times. and very minimally. if that is even a word ( Read more... )

shit's going good but something is off. of course i can't be fucking satisfied. school is great. I have an A in 4 of my classes and a B+ in the other one. which is pretty great, considering when i don't have class, i'm just laying in my fucking bed like a loser not doing shit until like an hour before i have class again. stressful, but it works. so ( Read more... )

i hate reading shit from the past. whether it's stuff i've posted or stuff other people have posted like years ago. it makes me feel really weird. and somewhat sad. i miss a lot of people. but talking to them now wouldn't make me feel better since no one is like how they used to be anymore. everyone sucks ( Read more... )

i've been clean for so long now, i can barely remember doing drugs and how it felt like to get high.
not something i'm upset about in the least, but just an interesting thought.

sometimes i miss being all crazy and out of control and irresponsible. i feel like it was easier, in a way. everyone just expected the worst from me. it was normal. now that i'm "better", i feel like i have to act perfect all the time. i hate my job. i hate that i do nothing in my free time. i hate this boring person i'm becoming. i feel like ( Read more... )

i'm always either at an all time low with an all time great guy and a all time high with a low life guy.

right now it's the first of the two.

all time fucking low here...

...but great fucking guy...

it's just how it goes for me.

I FEEL LIKE LIFE IS TRYING TO FUCKKKK WITH ME HEEERE. so after all the bad shit with Jay happened, that i'm not getting into cause it hurts still, i decided to not get involved with ANY more guys for like a year. so of course, my life is sick and fucked up.... what happens now is i randomly end up with like more than a few GREAT, REAL guys coming ( Read more... )

i got my new laptop a few days ago. it was supposed to be for Christmas but i can be very persuasive :) but yeah, it's pretty awesome. and i like having a webcam to talk to friends. and Luke is getting a laptop with one too so we will be able to talk and see each other while he is in Florida ( Read more... )

i'm gonna start everything fresh.
i'm sick of recycling boys. let the past stay in the past.

school starts in less than a month.
hopefully new friends will come out of that.

what a fucking asshole. how could you play with my emotions like that ( Read more... )