wierdness.... is all... just wierd.

i love alot of people, its a shame when one or two things darkens your sky.

i jsut dont know where i fit in here. its like i put myself out there, to make friends or whatever, and i feel like everyone...

i feel like ive moved forward, and changed, and grown, and done well for myself. healed myself. helped myself.
and when i turn to people, to be my friend, to treat me like i have value.

nothing.

its frustrating because here is ( Read more... )

with the coming summer i am in a prime place to live a better life. i love my family and friends, and i really need to step it up and be as present as possible, because im way checked out ( Read more... )

my husband left me a sweet comment a long time back in which he said:

eternal love keeps me soft
when i can not be near you i constantly long for your compassion and companionship.

im a lucky girl. you were right, i would eventually find what was right for me.

im just so tierd of being made to feel bad by other people.
i just want to get the fuck out of here. im so tierd of everyone elses bullshit.

theyre never going to like me because they had no reason to dislike me and they still dont like me. i cant make the impossible possible.  and its not on me to take on thier shitiness.

i want to move?

 you and i always had some great talks, that seemed to make sense in really simple terms, you should give me a call some time, we can have one of those talks, and while i know we haven't remained friends these past 6 or 7 years, there was a time when you were one of the best friends ive ever had, and i'm still greatful for that ( Read more... )

something came up where i realized that people might not see my relationship as me and alex hang out alot because we genuinely like each others company and are good friends. it troubled me to think that people look at my relationship and arent really sure how to call it because not many people like thier spouse.

most people who are married wish ( Read more... )

i wonder when i will be able to connect my brain back to my body back to my emotions.

i kind of realised alot in the past month, but i have to let it catch up to me...

im back on the buddha band waggon... i dont know i think its the missing piece.

theres nothing wrong with feeling things.

i let myself be marginalized.

mike warren still loves me, ( Read more... )

maybe i have to stop being so critcal on the company i keep and the company i keep...

i just dont think i should have to lower my standards to have friends.

i mean, they are a refelction of myslef, plus why would i hang out with people i dont like?

i do it all the time but...

its a tricky gray area.

i worry too much about things that will run there course.
so it goes, you will get tired, and i will be here.

i know myself to be the true stimulant.