what the fuck. im an idiot. im never trusting me with anything ever again.

these pills are making me crazy. i hate being so stressed out.

.have a history test today
.need to buy cigarettes
.like cuddling
.dont want to go to school today
.like rob

fuck i hate being sick. and im always fucking sick. all the time. i hate coughing and not being able to breathe. and not going to work and missing out on money. ive slept all goddamned day. im a waste. but i still HAVE to go to my history class even though i missed nutrition, which means i have to drive to fucking riverside and be there til ( Read more... )

hes mine for real. its everything and nothing i wanted. but im real happy.

when i see that smile it makes me melt. and i dont want to feel that way. especially if it isnt real. but i am weak.

why did i get mixed back up. i just dont want to get hurt... and im scared that this time i actually will. i always do.

i like his off handed smell. his half stoned smile. his lack of care. his messy hair. his childlike wonder. the way he looks at the stars. his lack of ambition. his love of crosswords. the way he ignores me. but then adores me. i love his sailor mouth, and the way it matches mine. i love that he wont call me. i like it when he drives my ( Read more... )

this whole week has kind of been. ive been hanging out with rob and steve and tammy a lot again. last night i played a show in riverside. everyone seemed to really enjoy it. i was kind of drunk so i was pretty funny. and there was a huge old fat dude who gave me 20 bucks and a drink to play another song. it was amazing. "chix with dix 2006 ( Read more... )

i walked and felt love flow through my veins by way of music(thanks david for letting me borrow the ipod) i needed to have a few steps by myself. ive been feeling so despondant. and less able to cater to others. which is weird. listening to bright eyes so clear running through my head while walking though my town was so refreshing. i almost ( Read more... )