2 days

[yugimo]

These past 2 days have been really bad for me. So depressed. So wanting a human touch it has been unberable.. I have been thinking about the guy I came so close to having an affair with.. He is only an email away. I would probably shock the hell out of him if he knew what I have been thinking. We both have this Friday off, haha. I have tried and

Comments

[anonymous]

Are you mentioning affair as a manner calling for "help"?

Are you thinking about it because you're angry with your husband and wonder if having one would hurt him? Cause him to "Feel" something emotional with regards to you, instead of seeming not to think of you at all?

Is this something you will vent in the doctors visit, along with everything else you might have to say?

Is divorce an option for you?

I wish you good luck, and a happy future.

[yugimo]

I think about divorce, or what it would be to live without him. Because he has talked and almost gone through with Suicide 3 times. When he thought about it back then. He was not diagonsed with the Bipolar. So I would have been left with the why question, why did he do it? Now I understand the feelings behind it or the why. Which makes me feel even worse because I can not help. I can get him the help and get him the meds. And make sure he is taken care of. But lately nothing has been helping. Our appointment with the new Dr. was postponed until this Friday at 7am. So I don't get to vent until then. Rick understands that this new Dr will have to know everything that has gone wrong in the past 2 years. Or the first things that I found that made me believe that he had a problem. I thought it was a way different problem than BiPolar though. I think I could have dealt with that problem easier than a mental health problem. I could have divorced him and not felt the guilt that I do know when I have the thoughts of divorce now. I would be