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Life is so strange. I spent the whole week dreaming about, and missing my old friends, and then out of the blue one of my classmates messaged me. I wasnt really friends with this person, but I took a lot of classes with her. She just messaged saying she heard I left and know knows a lot of my old friends have probably cut off contact after that, so ( Read more... ) -
I miss my old life
I miss my friends more than I can describe in words. My friends who grew up with me, understood me and knew my family well. They dont understand me anymore, they act strange and cold if I try reach out, and I feel embarrassed to push too hard because I know they cant understand my life. I am also embarrassed because I know they think Im wrong, and ( Read more... ) -
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Work was nice today. Life is good. :)
Sometimes, I sit at work and think about how lucky I am. My three years ago self wouldnt believe I could ever get here. I just feel so normal. I have a normal job, I am able to talk normally to people even though they didnt grow up in the same community as me. I am more confident, more happy.
Things are ( Read more... ) -
Nature and environmentalism
Since loosing my religious beliefs, my thoughts have been developing and changing quite a bit. I am currently in the middle of reading "Confessions of a Recovering Environmentalist" It feels a lot like this is a book I could have written (except I dont write that nicely). It is well written and mostly describes my feeling about the world.
But ( Read more... ) -
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I took pictures at the lakes near where I live on Friday. I had taken a day off work for a blood test, and spend the morning cleaning the house. I went for a walk at 3, just to get out, and stop myself being depressed. Then I caught these. I think I will likely go back to see more sunsets at the lakes. It was so stunning.
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I have a terrible credit rating. And it matters because Im trying to buy a house. Or I should say, my boyfriend is trying to buy a house, and because I live with him, I will help pay the mortgage and thus own a percentage of the house. It sucks. I hate having to choose a mortgage. He obviously trusts his parents more than me on which mortgage to ( Read more... ) -
Im a social moron
Social stuff freaks me out. I think im crazy. One of my biggest hatred are phone calls. Especially ones from numbers I dont have saved in my phone.
I much prefer messages, where I get to see what they want before committing myself to answering. When you answer the phone, you are committing to talking/answering whatever the phonecaller wants, ( Read more... ) -
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I wish I was properly active on LJ.
Its making me really depressed right now. Its probably other things though, that are just coming out this way.
My aunt wants me to read books about why to stay religious and jewish and I want to do it because she is the only relative who is kind of nice to me, but its stressful and annoying.
My sister (who ( Read more... ) -
Some songs I have been listening to
I have recently started listening to (and really likeing!) Avenged Sevenfold music ( Read more... ) -
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I havent seen my parents for almost two months now ( Read more... )