I've dedicated my life to trying to help people and I've found this very rewarding. But lately it seems that everything I do is not good enough.
The patients that are my friends refuse to see me for check-ups, others risk their health by insisting on impractical diets and the rest tell me I need to get laid while I'm checking their blood pressure.
They don't seem to realise that if they get seriously sick, I might not have the training to help.
I'm also having a reoccurring dream about a giant bunny rabbit coming into my infirmary and eating all the sick people. I wake up deliriously happy.
There's nothing wrong with you. People are stubborn assholes. I think what you need more than anything else is a break. Before you say that you can't take a break because of your patients, can you really treat them the way you want to treat them when you're not healthy? Get someone to look after them, leave instructions and dedicate a week or so to helping yourself.
And don't worry about the ones that tell you that you need to get laid. They probably just think you're hot, given the population of this island.
It might also help you to get an assistant to help you deal with people. It doesn't hurt for the doctor to have a nurse.
I come from a rather traditional family and while I am not the first son I have always worked towards continuing our family business. I am worried that when I tell my parents I love another man they won't even consider me for it any longer and despite all my hard work it will go to my incompetent brother. Nobody around me seems to think coming out is a big thing so I can't discuss it with them and I am very happy with my lover so I don't want to give him up either.
I know we are sheltered on the island but I still regularly communicate with my family and every time it gets more difficult to hide the fact I have somebody special in my life. Somebody asked if it wasn't rude to him and I haven't been able to find an answer yet. I don't feel ashamed of being with him here, despite having to overcome quite some opposition and ridicule but when it comes to my parents I suddenly turn into a complete coward. I am not usually a fearful person and I dislike it a great deal.
As to your suggestions they are actually not bad. I hope my parents will know better than to tell me to break up with him but even if they did I wouldn't. I will keep working hard so that when we return I can finally challenge and beat my father. That might go a long way to convince them being with another man hasn't made me soft.
Even if you communicate with your family, I think what you're talking about is something that has to be said in person. You're not a coward for waiting until you can talk to them not over a computer, and I doubt they will consider you as such. Having that degree of separation is more cowardly. Giving that respect to your parents is not disrespecting your boyfriend.
If you really want to feel like you want to get it out, you can tell your parents that you have something important for them to hear, but you want to wait to tell them in person. That way they will know you aren't hiding from them, merely waiting.
It's impossible to like everyone, just as it's impossible to be liked by everyone. Be less vague. Is this someone you have to be in contact with a lot?
That doesn't immediately render everyone tolerable. From the little you've told me of the situation, you have a few options.
1. Help him get "rescued." 2. Sabotage him. Entertaining, but probably not wise if you don't want to hurt your friend. Also a waste of energy. 3. Ignore him. I'm assuming this is probably what you do already. You don't want to be annoyed by him and you don't want to hurt your friend, so it's best to be where he isn't.
There are gonna be people you dislike to the point of hatred in this world. Sometimes you can even be stranded on an island with one. If you're smart, find a way to use his bad qualities to your advantage (we could all use a little entertainment) in conversation, if you're forced to converse. Finding out more about him will either give you ammo against him or help you build more tolerance.
Whether you ignore him or decide to know thy enemy, best of luck.
I have liked a particular person, A, for a very long time, and recently I have found out that he reciprocates my feelings, which is wonderful. However, before I learnt of person A's feelings towards myself, I was casually involved with person B. I still miss him a little, even if person A is really the sweetest thing anyone can ask for. What should I do?
On what level do you miss person B? If it's just company, then there is not reason you shouldn't hang out with him (though you might want to inform A so he doesn't think you're sneaking around). Though if you miss his company on a more physical level, then that's a bit more difficult. Maybe take some personal time and indulge in a little fantasy until you progress to that level with person A. Obviously this isn't a solution forever, but it might help you bridge the gap.
It makes things difficult if you were more than casually involved. If that's the case, a fantasy now and again wouldn't cut it.
No problem. That was kind of the point of this entry anyway.
It takes awhile to get over a break up, even if the relationship wasn't serious. Try hanging out with him just as friends. If you don't hide it from A, he shouldn't feel insecure about it. At least, as long as you make it clear that he's the one you want.
Comments 71
I've dedicated my life to trying to help people and I've found this very rewarding. But lately it seems that everything I do is not good enough.
The patients that are my friends refuse to see me for check-ups, others risk their health by insisting on impractical diets and the rest tell me I need to get laid while I'm checking their blood pressure.
They don't seem to realise that if they get seriously sick, I might not have the training to help.
I'm also having a reoccurring dream about a giant bunny rabbit coming into my infirmary and eating all the sick people. I wake up deliriously happy.
What is wrong with me?
Disgusted-at-myself
Reply
There's nothing wrong with you. People are stubborn assholes. I think what you need more than anything else is a break. Before you say that you can't take a break because of your patients, can you really treat them the way you want to treat them when you're not healthy? Get someone to look after them, leave instructions and dedicate a week or so to helping yourself.
And don't worry about the ones that tell you that you need to get laid. They probably just think you're hot, given the population of this island.
It might also help you to get an assistant to help you deal with people. It doesn't hurt for the doctor to have a nurse.
Z
Reply
Dear Z
I come from a rather traditional family and while I am not the first son I have always worked towards continuing our family business. I am worried that when I tell my parents I love another man they won't even consider me for it any longer and despite all my hard work it will go to my incompetent brother. Nobody around me seems to think coming out is a big thing so I can't discuss it with them and I am very happy with my lover so I don't want to give him up either.
What do you suggest I do?
Reply
Reply
I know we are sheltered on the island but I still regularly communicate with my family and every time it gets more difficult to hide the fact I have somebody special in my life. Somebody asked if it wasn't rude to him and I haven't been able to find an answer yet. I don't feel ashamed of being with him here, despite having to overcome quite some opposition and ridicule but when it comes to my parents I suddenly turn into a complete coward. I am not usually a fearful person and I dislike it a great deal.
As to your suggestions they are actually not bad. I hope my parents will know better than to tell me to break up with him but even if they did I wouldn't. I will keep working hard so that when we return I can finally challenge and beat my father. That might go a long way to convince them being with another man hasn't made me soft.
Thank you
A.
Reply
Even if you communicate with your family, I think what you're talking about is something that has to be said in person. You're not a coward for waiting until you can talk to them not over a computer, and I doubt they will consider you as such. Having that degree of separation is more cowardly. Giving that respect to your parents is not disrespecting your boyfriend.
If you really want to feel like you want to get it out, you can tell your parents that you have something important for them to hear, but you want to wait to tell them in person. That way they will know you aren't hiding from them, merely waiting.
Z
Reply
There is somebody I find myself not overly fond of.
Reply
It's impossible to like everyone, just as it's impossible to be liked by everyone. Be less vague. Is this someone you have to be in contact with a lot?
Z
Reply
Well we are trapped on an island together. And they seem to be important to a friend.
Reply
That doesn't immediately render everyone tolerable. From the little you've told me of the situation, you have a few options.
1. Help him get "rescued."
2. Sabotage him. Entertaining, but probably not wise if you don't want to hurt your friend. Also a waste of energy.
3. Ignore him. I'm assuming this is probably what you do already. You don't want to be annoyed by him and you don't want to hurt your friend, so it's best to be where he isn't.
There are gonna be people you dislike to the point of hatred in this world. Sometimes you can even be stranded on an island with one. If you're smart, find a way to use his bad qualities to your advantage (we could all use a little entertainment) in conversation, if you're forced to converse. Finding out more about him will either give you ammo against him or help you build more tolerance.
Whether you ignore him or decide to know thy enemy, best of luck.
Z
Reply
I have liked a particular person, A, for a very long time, and recently I have found out that he reciprocates my feelings, which is wonderful. However, before I learnt of person A's feelings towards myself, I was casually involved with person B. I still miss him a little, even if person A is really the sweetest thing anyone can ask for. What should I do?
Torn
Reply
On what level do you miss person B? If it's just company, then there is not reason you shouldn't hang out with him (though you might want to inform A so he doesn't think you're sneaking around). Though if you miss his company on a more physical level, then that's a bit more difficult. Maybe take some personal time and indulge in a little fantasy until you progress to that level with person A. Obviously this isn't a solution forever, but it might help you bridge the gap.
It makes things difficult if you were more than casually involved. If that's the case, a fantasy now and again wouldn't cut it.
Z
Reply
Thank you for your kind reply.
I do miss B's company, both of the spiritual and physical kind, unfortunately. And I wonder if it had become a bit more than fooling around :(
I don't want to lose person A though. He is very important to me. Your advice is much appreciated.
Torn
Reply
No problem. That was kind of the point of this entry anyway.
It takes awhile to get over a break up, even if the relationship wasn't serious. Try hanging out with him just as friends. If you don't hide it from A, he shouldn't feel insecure about it. At least, as long as you make it clear that he's the one you want.
Z
Reply
Leave a comment