Fic - Blades of Glory - The Other Team - 1/2
Blades of Glory, Chazz/Jimmy
NC-17
Un-betaed. The working title of this was "the rimming fic", which should tell you something. There's also some Jimmy/OFC in here. Sort of. This story follows Focus, Lacuna, and With or With You.
The Other Team (pt. 1)
"Rimming," Chazz said, standing in the doorway to living room. "Ever done it?"
Jimmy set his book in his lap and regarded Chazz with a frown. It had been like this for days, Jimmy trying to go about his business, and Chazz popping up with something new he wanted to try, some complaint he had about something that Jimmy was doing - doing in general, not in bed. Chazz only complained about the things Jimmy wasn't ready to do in bed, not the things he did. It was more things like the fact that Jimmy locked the door when he went into the bathroom that set Chazz off. Frankly, Jimmy wasn't sure he wanted to know what Chazz had in mind that had him all up in arms about something like locking a bathroom door.
"Rimming?" Jimmy repeated, still frowning.
Chazz rolled his eyes, pointed at himself, seemingly indicating that he was being an idiot, which generally Jimmy wasn't one to argue with, and said, "Right. Of course you haven't." He held out his hand. "The time is now, my friend. This is going to blow your mind."
"Now? I don't -" Jimmy started and then looked down at his book. "I'm kind of busy right now."
Chazz gave him a look. "You have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, do you?"
"Of course I do," Jimmy said, immediately.
"So you don't want to try it," Chazz prodded.
"I'm reading," Jimmy said. "I'll try it with you later."
"You will," Chazz repeated and raised his eyebrows. "Really." That was when Jimmy suddenly became concerned about exactly what it was that he was agreeing to.
"Um, well, maybe," Jimmy amended. "We'll see."
Chazz sighed, crossed the living room and collapsed on the couch, plopping his bare feet in Jimmy's lap. Jimmy re-settled himself on the couch, his arm resting on Chazz's leg.
"There's no way that book is more fun than what I'm proposing," Chazz said.
Jimmy sniffed. "You've never read this book." The book wasn't actually particularly good. Or good at all, but Jimmy didn't like to go into things blindly, he had no idea what rimming was exactly, and he wasn't about to just ask Chazz. He'd learned to improvise a little, sure, but he had his limits. Come on.
He waited until Chazz stopped talking, until he heard Chazz's breathing slow, until Chazz let out an abrupt snore, and then he carefully extracted himself from the couch, set his book down, and made his way over to the computer. He looked over his shoulder at Chazz and opened google, immediately clicking on the first link, a wikipedia article.
**
"Intestinal bacteria," Jimmy said, lying next to Chazz in bed. He'd printed out the page and everything. He'd never given it any thought before.
"What?" Chazz asked. "Intestinal what?"
Jimmy thought about the restaurants that Chazz dragged him to in Denver. They were never normal places, always a tiny hole in the wall hidden in some alley that Chazz claimed was the best restaurant in the city. Jimmy had no idea how Chazz found out about them, but they looked like places that were guaranteed to house all kinds of strange diseases.
"Bacteria," Jimmy repeated.
"Okay," Chazz said slowly. "Just so we're clear, the reason you're saying no to rimming is intestinal bacteria."
"Yes," Jimmy said.
"Except I'm going to be the one with my tongue in your ass," Chazz clarified.
"I ate at that Portuguese place the other day," Jimmy said. The table was sticky and there was an odd smudge on his glass and the food was way too cheap and they gave him a ton of it.
"I ate off your plate," Chazz said. "Whatever bacteria you have is already squirming around in my gut, so there's no harm in adding a few more."
Jimmy narrowed his eyes. Rimming had seemed almost promising based on the first few sentences of the article. A little scary, maybe, and really, well, gay, but he'd gotten kind of excited reading it, so he thought promising was a good word. Jimmy wasn't sure he even believed that people could have orgasms from that alone, though the thought was intriguing. But the entire thing was quickly becoming the subject of the most unsexy talk he'd ever had with Chazz. "Just - I don't want your tongue in my butt. I'm sorry."
"This is going to be like the blow job thing," Chazz sighed. "We're already having another blow job thing."
"It is not," Jimmy said. "Shut up." Chazz brought up the blow job thing all the time, like it was his greatest accomplishment, the greatest argument he'd won, in the history of ever. It almost made Jimmy want to never let Chazz's mouth near him again. Almost.
**
Jimmy found Chazz reading the wikipedia article over breakfast the next morning, a spoonful of cereal paused in midair halfway on its journey to Chazz's mouth. "Did you see this?" Chazz asked, when he noticed that Jimmy was there.
"What?"
"About the orgasms? I could give you an orgasm just by licking your butt. And you don't want to try it. What's wrong with you?"
"You can't give me an orgasm just from that, Chazz."
"You don't know that," Chazz insisted and poked at the piece of paper. "It says it can happen right here. Would this wikipediatric place lie?"
Jimmy didn't bother to correct him. "It also said you can get Hepatitis, Chlamydia, and Herpes."
"Do you have Herpes?" Chazz asked, finally eating the spoonful of cereal that he'd been holding since Jimmy walked into the room. It was impressive really, holding a spoon of milk and mush for that long without spilling.
"No."
"Well, neither do I, so I think orgasms win that argument." Chazz dropped the spoon back into the bowl with a triumphant plunk.
"No," Jimmy said again.
Chazz pointed at the bottom of the sheet. "We can use this dam thingie. It sounds unsexy, but you won't give me any of these parasites you're so worried about."
"It's - the whole thing just seems really gay, doesn't it?" Jimmy asked suddenly, not quite sure where the question came from.
Chazz blinked at him. "Not really."
"It doesn't seem gay to you? It's just, yeah. A little gay," Jimmy concluded, lamely.
Chazz eyed Jimmy's shirt (okay, so there were sequins on it) and then said, "Dude, I've been letting you stick your dick up my ass on an almost regular basis. No, this doesn't seem that gay. Not anymore. Anyway, who cares? We're two dudes. The stuff we do is bound to seem pretty gay, yeah? We're a male figure skating pair. That's gay right there to most people, and yet we're completely awesome together on the ice. Ergo, rimming is not gay, but completely awesome."
"I guess," Jimmy sighed, refusing to try to work out Chazz's logic. "I'll think about it, okay?"
Chazz nodded, seemingly appeased. "I can live with that. For now."
"Thank you," Jimmy said.
"Just try to think fast. I can live with it, but not for that long."
**
Jimmy was just about to wash his hands when the door knob rattled and he heard Chazz curse.
"What are you doing?" Chazz asked from the other side of the door.
"I'm going to the bathroom, what do you think I'm doing?" He was done going to the bathroom, but hell if he was going to open the door now.
"Can I come in?"
"Why? You don't need to watch me pee," Jimmy said, and turned on the sink.
"I watch you pee in public all the time," Chazz countered. "Are you almost done?"
"What? You do not," Jimmy said. He glanced back at the door and wiped his hands on a towel.
"It's not anything gross," Chazz insisted. "I just want to come in sometimes. I'm not being kinky, I swear."
Jimmy didn't even want to know what could possibly be kinky about being in the bathroom while someone else was peeing. He checked his hair in the mirror and opened the door. "I don't come in while you're going to the bathroom."
Chazz shrugged and slid a hand around the back of Jimmy's neck, pulling Jimmy toward him. "I don't close the door when I use the bathroom."
"I know," Jimmy sighed. "About that -"
"Shut up," Chazz said, and then his hands were at the front of Jimmy's pants and his tongue was in Jimmy's mouth and Jimmy couldn't have continued arguing even if he'd wanted to. It wasn't long before Chazz had Jimmy pressed against the bedroom wall, and then sprawled across the carpet, his jeans down around his ankles.
"Chazz," Jimmy gasped when Chazz's mouth left Jimmy's right nipple and began slowly moving down Jimmy's stomach. And then Chazz had reached Jimmy's belly button, and Jimmy couldn't help it, he laughed a little, because it always tickled whether he knew it was coming or not. It seemed to amuse Chazz and as a result he gave it a lot of attention.
"I'm going to get rug burn," Jimmy managed to get out, and then he stopped talking, because Chazz's mouth was around him now and it felt so good and Jimmy still had issues with it that he couldn't really articulate, but he'd stopped resisting mostly, because for some reason Chazz loved it, and when Jimmy managed to stop thinking and just feel, he really really loved it too.
It was a weird submissive thing, Jimmy thought. That was his problem. He was trying not to think, shouldn't be thinking when Chazz's tongue was doing that thing that made Jimmy's entire body curl, but there it was. Something about this, lying here with Chazz's mouth wrapped around him made him feel like - like - wait. "What are - ? Stop! Chazz, no," Jimmy said, his voice cracking a little as he scrambled out from under Chazz.
"Come on! I don't care about bacteria," Chazz said, trying to pull Jimmy back toward him.
"Well I do," Jimmy insisted.
"It's like the blow job thing," Chazz insisted. He reached over and slapped Jimmy's naked ass. "I'll win you over."
Jimmy huffed a little, pulled up his pants, straightened out his clothes. The thing that Chazz always forgot was that sure, he got his blow jobs, but he also ended up spread out across a bed with Jimmy's fingers up his - well. The point was that Jimmy wasn't the only one who had quirks about things. He wasn't the only one who'd been convinced to improvise a little.
**
Jimmy couldn't believe he was in the middle of a shopping mall food court and about to ask the question he was about to ask. He stared at Jesse, who stared back, patiently. "Okay," Jimmy said. "I'm just going to say it."
He'd never really been that close with Jesse. Like they'd worked together forever and they'd spent a lot of time together because of Coach, but he wouldn't say they were best friends. He didn't think Jesse particularly liked him, really. He sort of suspected that Jesse had always thought he was a whiny brat. Still, Jimmy didn't know who else to ask. He didn't know that many gay people. There was pretty much just Jesse and Hector. Jimmy hadn't seen Hector in a while, which he thought was probably a good thing. And he was positive that his lawyer would agree that going to Hector to talk about this was a giant no-no. And there was Coach, but yeah, no way. Jesse was his best bet.
"Okay," Jimmy said again.
Jesse nodded, folded his hands on the table and raised an eyebrow.
"Have you ever tried rimming?" Jimmy blurted quickly.
"Oh hell no," Jesse said and moved to stand up. Jimmy quickly reached out and gripped Jesse's arm.
"No, please. I'm just - I don't have anyone else to talk to."
"I don't know why you two are always coming to me with this stuff," Jesse muttered. He did sit back down though. And then he pointed at Jimmy and said, "I'm a choreographer, not a sex therapist. Remember that."
"Do you think I'm gay?" Jimmy asked. They might not be friends but that didn't change the fact that he'd known Jesse a long time.
"I don't know," Jesse said. "It doesn't matter what I think. Do you think you're gay?"
"I don't know," Jimmy said. "No."
"Well then there you go. See, you don't need me for this."
"Chazz wants to um, he wants to lick my, um -" Jimmy trailed off and just kind of waved his hand around a little. He hoped Jesse would understand.
Jesse closed his eyes. He looked like he was counting to ten. Eventually he turned his attention back to Jimmy and said, "So what's the problem."
Jimmy made a face. "It's like - I don't know. Do people do that? Normal people?"
"Normal people stay out of bed with someone like Chazz, so no."
Jimmy frowned and looked away.
"I'm sorry," Jesse conceded. "That was mean. Chazz is obsessed with you, Jimmy. He's head over heals. Let the poor man lick your ass and get it over with. You'll love it. I promise."
"He's not obsessed with me," Jimmy said.
"Generally you don't start up with that unless you're obsessed, honey. In love. All that good stuff."
"He's obsessed with sex," Jimmy amended. "That doesn't really have anything to do with me."
Jesse sighed. "Okay, well, let him lick your ass, don't let him. I don't care. Your five minutes are up. I thought we came here to buy shoes."
**
Jimmy dropped two boxes of sneakers on the floor, kicked off the shoes he was wearing, and called out for Chazz.
"In here," Chazz said from the living room. Jimmy heard some shuffling and headed toward the noise. The living room was dark except for the flicker of the television.
"Hey," Chazz said, gesturing Jimmy toward the couch. Jimmy eyed him. Chazz was all spread out, his sweatpants crooked, his hand resting discreetly - or so Chazz probably hoped - over his groin.
"What were you doing?" Jimmy asked.
"Nothing," Chazz said. "Did you buy stuff?"
"Running shoes. They were -" Jimmy stopped. The television had just moaned. And now it was panting. "What is that?"
"It's porn," Chazz said, matter of fact. He removed his hand from his erection, visible through the sweatpants.
"You're kidding," Jimmy said.
"Nope."
"You were -" He gestured toward Chazz's sweatpants. "Oh, gross."
"Sit down," Chazz said and pointed to the couch beside him.
"It's not - you're not watching yourself, are you?" Jimmy took a few steps toward the couch, but stayed out of line with the television.
"Of course not," Chazz scoffed. "Why? Do you want - I have the video in the other room."
"No," Jimmy said. "No, that's okay."
"Sit down," Chazz said again. "It will be worth it, I promise."
Jimmy started to say that he couldn't see how, then took one look at Chazz's smirk, crossed the room and curled up on the couch beside Chazz.
"Is there a plot?" Jimmy asked. He really wasn't familiar with porn at all.
"Of course there is a plot," Chazz scoffed. "That's Candy. She just got back from some kind of adult cheerleading camp where she had a lot of sex with her best friend. Bambi. Now she's home and she's tired and she's going to order a pizza. And then she'll fuck the pizza guy. And her neighbor - I can't remember if he has a name. He sees the two going at it through the window and then comes over for a threesome. Except then her boyfriend or lover or whoever comes home and he's pretty damn upset at first but then he comes to his senses and the whole thing becomes a gang bang."
"This is for straight people?" Jimmy asked. There seemed to be a lot guys in that equation. Candy was lying on her bed taking off her clothes. Her boobs were huge and round. One of them was about the same size as Jimmy's head. "What is she doing?"
"What do you think she's doing?" Chazz asked just as Candy slipped her fingers inside her panties and then reached for a vibrator on the nightstand. It was huge and pink and plastic looking. Candy closed her eyes and licked the end of it.
"Gross," Jimmy said, quietly. He wrapped his arms around his knees. The door bell rang and Candy, who was not a very good actress, pouted and went to answer it. "That's the pizza guy?"
"Yep," Chazz grunted.
"She's going to…that's disgusting."
"He can't be that hot," Chazz explained. "A lot of dudes hate that."
"Oh," Jimmy said. "Is that how you ended up in porn?"
"Oh, so funny," Chazz said.
The guy, who was built, but balding and looked like someone had broken his nose at one point, set down the pizza and followed Candy to the bedroom, where she immediately stripped and reached for her large pink vibrator again. She leaned back on the bed and spread her legs and the gross pizza guy took the vibrator and then she reached down and parted her hairless - "Okay, I don't want to watch anymore," Jimmy said and covered his face with his hand. It didn't really help. He could still hear it.
Chazz reached for Jimmy's hand, pulled it away from Jimmy's face. Jimmy shut his eyes instead.
"I have gay porn," Chazz suggested. "You want that? I'll switch it."
"No," Jimmy said. The last thing he wanted was to watch gay porn right now. "It's not her, it's her and him and just the whole thing is disgusting."
Chazz seemed to have stopped paying attention to Jimmy because instead of responding he said, "oh, see. The neighbor wants in on that action. Can you blame him?"
"I'm going to go in the other room," Jimmy said, but Chazz set a hand on his arm to stop him.
"I know what will make this better for you," Chazz offered.
"What?" Jimmy asked and Chazz didn't answer, just started pushing at Jimmy's folded legs instead.
"Spread out a little," Chazz instructed.
"What are you doing?" Jimmy asked, letting Chazz stretch his legs out in front of him.
"The problem here is that this isn't how porn is supposed to be watched," Chazz said. "This isn't Bridge Over Madison County. You don't watch porn for the story. You watch porn for the orgasms."
"I'm not jerking off to this," Jimmy said, but he didn't stop Chazz from reaching for the front of his pants.
"I never said you were. Watch the movie," Chazz said and Jimmy glanced up at the screen just in time to see Candy swallow two dicks at once. Or try to swallow them anyway. They mostly ended up going in one at a time and just sliding sloppily all over her face while she moaned.
"You aren't going to -"
"Nope," Chazz said. "You'll get no blow jobs from me until you learn to appreciate them more." He pushed Jimmy's underwear down so that he could wrap a hand around Jimmy's erection.
"Oh," Jimmy said, and closed his eyes.
Chazz smacked his shoulder and said, "Watch the movie!"
"I don't - oh," Jimmy said again. Chazz was really good with his hands. Probably because he spent so much time using them to jerk off. "Okay."
Jimmy didn't care about the movie. He was itching to get his hands on Chazz, to do something, not just sit there, but when he moved to touch Chazz, Chazz slapped his hands away.
"Why -?" Jimmy tried again and Chazz made a frustrated noise, moving quickly to swing his leg up onto the couch, to straddle Jimmy.
"You're trying to crush me now?" Jimmy asked and then stopped talking because his mouth was occupied with kissing instead. Chazz's hands were back on him and Chazz didn't stop Jimmy this time when Jimmy's hands automatically went to rest on Chazz's thighs. With the way that Chazz was straddling and the amount of space between them there wasn't much room for Jimmy to do much other than hold on. His hands rubbed Chazz's thighs a little through his sweatpants.
Jimmy couldn't see much of the movie anymore, but he could hear it, the pants and moans, the sound of skin hitting skin. His own noises blurred in with the movie so that he stopped being able to tell what noises he made and what was on the television. Chazz's hand was working faster now and Jimmy couldn't take it, he wanted to squirm away, get away from Chazz's eyes and his hands and the sounds of the strangers having sex on the TV. It was too much.
"Chazz, oh God, stop," Jimmy managed to get out and then Chazz did that thing that he did, the thing with his thumb and his wrist. It drove Jimmy insane and Chazz knew it, Chazz loved it, and Jimmy couldn't continue to argue, couldn't do much of anything but gasp and jerk beneath the weight of Chazz's body. And then Chazz said something, something crude and stupid that would have completely ruined the moment if Jimmy could concentrate and listen to the words. But Jimmy was too far gone and Chazz did it again with the thumb and the wrist and then he bit Jimmy's shoulder though the thin fabric of his T-shirt and that was it. Jimmy came all over them both.
"Conclusion," Chazz said, flopping back onto the couch. "Porn. It's good."
Jimmy just grunted a little and reached for the front of Chazz's sweatpants.
"See," Chazz said. "This is what I like about you."
"What? That I'm having sex with you?"
"Well, yes. That was mostly what I was going to say. But also, you like having sex. You're almost always ready for sex. I bet most people don't know that about you."
"Wow," Jimmy said, pulling off his shirt. "I sound really slutty."
"No," Chazz said. "It's because you're new at it. But not a virginy teenage girl. You're like a teenage boy who never masturbated. Except you're thirty so no one is going to jail."
"Oh," Jimmy said, not sure how he was supposed to respond to that.
"It's a good thing."
"Okay…"
"The only bad thing is that you won't let me in the bathroom. Oh, and you won't let me lick your ass. Yet. That's a problem."
"Okay," Jimmy said, not really listening to Chazz anymore. "Hold on. We need stuff for this."
And before he could even move, Chazz had produced a bottle of lube from the couch cushions.
"Why was that there?"
"I was watching porn," Chazz shrugged. "I might have needed it. But see, that's what you like about me. I’m prepared."
Jimmy grabbed the lube from Chazz's hand. "Please shut up now."
Chazz grunted and pushed Jimmy back on the couch. "Don't need to tell me twice."
**
Jimmy watched Chazz rehearse the choreography that he kept missing with Jesse. Chazz was great at the physical - the jumps and the spins and the holds. It was the footwork and dance bits, the flourish that Chazz just didn't really care about and therefore needed some extra time with. The show pony stuff, he liked to say. It wasn't that Chazz didn't know it. Jimmy knew that he did. It was that Chazz thought that part of the program was lame, would routinely roll his eyes through it and wouldn't bother to extend anything until the actual competition, when he generally nailed it all perfectly. It was fine with Jimmy. He trusted Chazz to have it down when the time came to nail it. That was how Chazz worked.
Jesse, on the other hand. It drove Jesse insane. Which was why they were watching Chazz perform the piece over and over again without any of the jumps or spins or holds. Just sitting their watching while Chazz ran through it again and again, bitching and moaning the entire time.
After half an hour Jimmy got bored, started doodling on the stack of papers that were resting on the crate beside him. Coach had left for coffee and Jesse and Chazz weren't paying any attention to Jimmy, except every once in a while when Chazz would cut in close to Jimmy to say something crude or even just to wink suggestively. Probably to make sure that Jimmy knew that he was still there. More likely because it broke up the routine and pissed Jesse off further.
Jimmy stopped doodling - spirals mostly; he liked fluid looking shapes - and watched Chazz extend an arm almost all the way, do a few half spins and then come to a stop inches in front of Jesse's toes.
"Funny," Jesse said. "you run over my feet and I'll kill you."
"I'd like to see you try, little man," Chazz retorted.
"Don't tempt me," Jesse said. If it came down to it, Jimmy would bet his money on Jesse in an instant.
"The choreographer thinks he can take on the big bad skater man?" Chazz asked, pouting a little at Jesse.
Jesse pointed a finger. "I can make your life hell. Don't you forget that."
Jimmy tuned them out after that, figured he'd notice if they actually came to blows. And if they didn't then it wasn't actually that interesting. Also Jesse would definitely win. Jesse could definitely bring Jimmy down, and Jimmy was almost positive that he could win a fight against Chazz. He could run faster at any rate.
Jimmy stared at the sheet of paper and then started to make a list. On the left he wrote the word 'gay' and underlined it. On the right, 'straight.' In the gay column he wrote 'sleeping with a man and enjoying it. A lot.' He added 'personal hygeine' and 'shiny hair' and then crossed them both out. Only people like Chazz thought that clean equaled gay. On the right he wrote 'kissed Katie - nice' and 'women's hips' and 'the way they smell'. Then he went back to the left and added the way Chazz smells. Most of the time.' He stared at the list. It seemed pretty inconclusive.
On the one hand, he was sleeping with a guy. He was probably pretty emotionally invested in sleeping with a guy, though he tried not to dwell on that a whole lot. Either way, that was a huge point in the gay column. On the other hand, he'd almost had a girlfriend. He'd enjoyed kissing Katie. And the only reason he hadn't had a girlfriend earlier was because he was so busy, so focused on his skating. On the other other hand, if he'd really wanted a girlfriend he would have gone out of his way to find one before he turned 29. But he did find one at 29. But then he left her for a man. But it wasn't just a man, it was Chazz, who claimed that he was irresistible to every gender. Jimmy wasn't sure he believed that, but then he'd fallen for it, hadn't he? Still, Jimmy didn't think he had enough experience or information to come to a conclusion based on the list. The porn woman had grossed him out, but then so had the porn guys. He didn't think that sleeping with an actual woman would be gross like that. Not a woman he knew and liked.
"What are you doing?" Chazz asked.
"Nothing," Jimmy said and quickly covered the list with his hand.
"Who would win a fight, me or Jesse?"
"Jesse," Jimmy said immediately.
"Wow. You'd think Jesse was the one getting you off every night, traitor."
"Sorry. I thought you wanted the truth."
"Yeah," Chazz said and tried to look around Jimmy's hand at the sheet of paper. "Is that about me?"
"It's not poetry if that's what you're thinking, no."
Chazz shrugged. "Not everyone can be a literacy master."
"Exactly," Jimmy agreed. "you know, we both know you've got this program down. If you just nail it once we can move on with our lives."
"Where's the fun?" Chazz asked. He set his hand over Jimmy's and then leaned in and kissed him, a dirty messy lewd kiss. Jimmy didn't let go of the paper. He wasn't that easy. Chazz sighed and said, "I've written poetry about you, you know. I'll read it to you sometime."
"That's okay," Jimmy said. "I'm sure it's, um, very poetic." They were probably poems about his ass or something.
"They are," Chazz agreed. "They're about your ass."
Jimmy nodded. "Rhymes with class. Hey, Jesse's back."
"Damn," Chazz said. "Later, gorgeous." He released Jimmy's hand and patted Jimmy's cheek before skating back over to continue messing with Jesse's blood pressure.
"Ow," Jimmy said, even though the pat hadn't hurt. He ripped the paper into pieces and threw it out before Chazz's next break.
**
Jimmy knew, as soon as the question was out of his mouth, that he really shouldn't have said anything at all. Chazz froze, which was when Jimmy started to suspect that he'd screwed up. And then it got worse. Chazz started to babble.
"How many times do - who cares?" Chazz asked, removing his tongue from behind Jimmy's ear. "So what if you like dick and only dick. I have no problem with you liking dick. Seriously. None. I like dick - not all the time. I like the ladies, of course. But sometimes I like dick, you know. It's just sex, man. It's like what that artist said, the Campbell's soup artist. Labels are for cans, man. Andy Kauffman. I like that you like my dick. I have a nice dick. Are you - do you not like - I have a great dick."
"No," Jimmy said, cutting Chazz off before the whole thing got too out of hand. It was probably already too late. "I do. I mean, you do. I just - forget it."
Chazz seemed to consider and then nodded, dropping it far more quickly than Jimmy had expected him to drop any sort of perceived slight against his penis. Jimmy sighed and shifted and tried to relax and enjoy the feeling of Chazz's erection pressed against his leg, Chazz's hands on his arms, gripping. He was enjoying it. He was. He was completely hard, so obviously he was enjoying it. But that was kind of the problem really.
"I care," Jimmy insisted, suddenly. He pushed a little at Chazz. "I get it. I mean, the labels are for cans thing. I get that, except I'm pretty sure that's not who painted the soup and I don't think he was the one who said it anyway, but it's still a good quote. It is. But I care, Chazz. Because I think it's something that I should have kinda figured out, you know? I mean, I'm thirty."
"I think you think it's more important than it is," Chazz insisted.
"But how do you know?" Jimmy asked. "If you're gay, I mean."
Chazz shrugged. "Sleep with someone. A lady."
"I'm not - I'm sleeping with you."
"Then I guess you're not gonna know."
"You want to sleep with other people?"
"That's not what I said," Chazz disagreed. He thought about it for a moment and then kissed Jimmy's shoulder and smiled. "We could have a threesome."
"No."
Chazz shrugged again and tried really hard to look like he wasn't just a little disappointed. It didn't work.
"What are we doing?" Jimmy asked. They'd been doing it for six months and Jimmy still wasn't really sure. The skating part - that he got. The sleeping together and sharing a bed stuff, not so much.
"You want an outline?" Chazz asked, his voice muffled against the skin of Jimmy's elbow. "I was gonna make it up as we went. Follow my nose."
"Follow your nose?"
"Follow my dick," Chazz amended.
**
"Are you going to be here this afternoon?" Chazz asked when Jimmy returned from his Pilates class.
"Why?"
"Someone is coming over."
"Who?"
"No one," Chazz said, a little too quickly.
"Who?" Jimmy asked again.
"Her name is Yvonne."
"Why is she coming here?"
"She's a - " Chazz started, but the sentence was interrupted by a coughing fit.
"She's a what?"
"Listen, I have an appointment this afternoon at the um, doctors for this rash that I have. So if you can just stay here and take care of Yvonne that would be -"
"She's a what?" Jimmy asked again. "You don't have a rash."
"Well, technically she's a personal escort," Chazz said, making air quotes on the word escort.
"You didn't."
"I'm returning the favor! You ordered a hooker for me once!" Chazz burst out. "You need one more than I ever did, buddy."
"She's a hooker? You're serious. She's coming here?"
"Well," Chazz started and looked like he was at a loss. "Yeah."
"Chazz, I'm not sleeping with a hooker. I'm not."
"And just so that you know," Chazz continued. "The bedroom is all set up."
"What? What does that mean?"
"I'm not going to miss this."
"All set up? What did you - cameras? You hid a camera in the bedroom?"
"No," Chazz said, quickly. "That's not what it means. I just put some condoms on the table! Condoms are important! I'm thinking of your health! I have a rash, you know!"
"Shut up about the rash, Chazz. That's one of the worst excuses you've come up with. I saw you naked like four hours ago, idiot. And I'm not sleeping with a hooker so stop," Jimmy said and then stalked into the bedroom. There actually was a stack of condoms on the table, right next to a small bottle of lubricant. Jimmy picked up the condoms, crumpled them in his hand a little, and then dropped the packets again. "Where did you put it?"
"What?"
"The camera!"
"There is no -" Chazz inched closer to a pile of stuffed animals that Jimmy had sitting on top of a dresser. "There's no camera. I was kidding."
"Have you been taping us?" Jimmy asked, suddenly, pushing Chazz aside and tossing stuffed monkeys and unicorns on the floor until he dislodged the video camera.
"No," Chazz said. "Can I?"
"No! That's - this is disgusting." Jimmy shoved the camera at Chazz.
"It's beautiful and natural!" Chazz grunted, hugging the camera to his chest.
"You better not have taped us," Jimmy warned.
"Oh," Chazz said. "There you go, pretending you're so above it."
"What, I'm not -"
"I saw you the other day. You got off, man. You got off watching porn."
"With you jerking me off, yeah," Jimmy argued. "The porn had nothing to do with it." The porn probably had a little to do with it.
"We should tape it. You should see yourself. You'll come so hard that your eyeballs will -"
"Call the hooker," Jimmy said, cutting him off. His face was red, he could feel it. "Cancel or whatever you do. I'm not sleeping with a hooker. I'm not."
Chazz nodded and then said, "Okay. So, I was thinking about getting a mirror for the ceiling."
Jimmy sighed. "No."
**
Jimmy spent the rest of the morning searching the bedroom for any other hidden recording equipment. It seemed that the camera in the stuffed animals was the only one. He did find a stack of Playboys mixed in with Chazz's Men's Health magazines (Chazz didn't read Men's Health, but Coach had forced him to subscribe). Jimmy flipped through the Playboys, frowned, studied them a little, decided large breasts were kind of scary, and then tossed them back under the pile of Men's Health. He stared for a second at the piles of dvds and videos that Chazz thought of as recommended viewing for Jimmy and were therefore strategically placed in a pile on the bedroom floor. Jimmy mostly just tried to ignore that they were there. Finally, convinced that he wasn't being secretly recorded, Jimmy went to find Chazz, who was in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator.
"We have no food. I’m ordering pizza."
"We have a ton of food."
"Nothing as good as pizza," Chazz disagreed.
"So, like, are you okay?" Jimmy asked. "I mean, with me."
Chazz blinked at him. "Is this still about the camera? Cause I don't get it."
"No, it's - I mean, with me not being a girl. You know," Jimmy gestured. "Boobs and stuff."
"Jimmy," Chazz sighed. He was holding the phone about to dial, but set it down and leaned against the counter. "You've gotta figure this out, cause I'm kinda sick of it."
"Figure wh - I know. I'm trying," Jimmy said.
"Well," Chazz said. "How about Katie."
"Katie?"
"Yeah," Chazz said. "Sleep with Katie." He sounded a little short, clipped. "If it's hot sexy fun, then you're not gay. You're into the ladies and me. Nothing wrong there. If it's like having sex with your sister, then you probably are. Nothing wrong there either. I win either way."
"Chazz, gross. I don't - Katie is my friend."
"Right," Chazz agreed. "She's your friend. She's hot. She's not a hooker. And you know she wants you."
"I'm not - no."
"Okay," Chazz nodded. He seemed to relax a little. "So we just need to find you someone to sleep with who we don't have to pay, but who isn't someone you're friends with."
"We don't have to do any of that," Jimmy insisted. "Can't we pretend I never brought any of this up?"
"I tried that," Chazz said. "And then you brought it up again. And here we are. I have an idea."
"What?"
"We have sex now," Chazz said and it was so predictable that Jimmy actually rolled his eyes.
"I'm not doing anything with you. Not if you actually have some kind of rash."
"You don't want to examine me?" Chazz asked. It was followed by an exaggerated wink. It was actually kind of creepy.
"I don't get that. Playing doctor. What's up with that?"
"You wouldn't get it," Chazz retorted. "No imagination."
"I have an imagination."
"Okay," Chazz agreed. "Sure you do. How about we just forget about the doctor stuff and have sex now."
"So there is no rash, right? I don't even want to guess where you would have gotten a rash."
"There is no rash!" Chazz said, exasperated finally. He took a deep breath and then removed his shirt, dropped it on the kitchen floor. "There is no rash, but I think my penis is broken. Come on. Fix it for me."
"I hate you," Jimmy muttered, but he picked up Chazz's shirt from the floor and followed him toward the bedroom anyway.
The Other Team, part 2
NC-17
Un-betaed. The working title of this was "the rimming fic", which should tell you something. There's also some Jimmy/OFC in here. Sort of. This story follows Focus, Lacuna, and With or With You.
The Other Team (pt. 1)
"Rimming," Chazz said, standing in the doorway to living room. "Ever done it?"
Jimmy set his book in his lap and regarded Chazz with a frown. It had been like this for days, Jimmy trying to go about his business, and Chazz popping up with something new he wanted to try, some complaint he had about something that Jimmy was doing - doing in general, not in bed. Chazz only complained about the things Jimmy wasn't ready to do in bed, not the things he did. It was more things like the fact that Jimmy locked the door when he went into the bathroom that set Chazz off. Frankly, Jimmy wasn't sure he wanted to know what Chazz had in mind that had him all up in arms about something like locking a bathroom door.
"Rimming?" Jimmy repeated, still frowning.
Chazz rolled his eyes, pointed at himself, seemingly indicating that he was being an idiot, which generally Jimmy wasn't one to argue with, and said, "Right. Of course you haven't." He held out his hand. "The time is now, my friend. This is going to blow your mind."
"Now? I don't -" Jimmy started and then looked down at his book. "I'm kind of busy right now."
Chazz gave him a look. "You have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, do you?"
"Of course I do," Jimmy said, immediately.
"So you don't want to try it," Chazz prodded.
"I'm reading," Jimmy said. "I'll try it with you later."
"You will," Chazz repeated and raised his eyebrows. "Really." That was when Jimmy suddenly became concerned about exactly what it was that he was agreeing to.
"Um, well, maybe," Jimmy amended. "We'll see."
Chazz sighed, crossed the living room and collapsed on the couch, plopping his bare feet in Jimmy's lap. Jimmy re-settled himself on the couch, his arm resting on Chazz's leg.
"There's no way that book is more fun than what I'm proposing," Chazz said.
Jimmy sniffed. "You've never read this book." The book wasn't actually particularly good. Or good at all, but Jimmy didn't like to go into things blindly, he had no idea what rimming was exactly, and he wasn't about to just ask Chazz. He'd learned to improvise a little, sure, but he had his limits. Come on.
He waited until Chazz stopped talking, until he heard Chazz's breathing slow, until Chazz let out an abrupt snore, and then he carefully extracted himself from the couch, set his book down, and made his way over to the computer. He looked over his shoulder at Chazz and opened google, immediately clicking on the first link, a wikipedia article.
**
"Intestinal bacteria," Jimmy said, lying next to Chazz in bed. He'd printed out the page and everything. He'd never given it any thought before.
"What?" Chazz asked. "Intestinal what?"
Jimmy thought about the restaurants that Chazz dragged him to in Denver. They were never normal places, always a tiny hole in the wall hidden in some alley that Chazz claimed was the best restaurant in the city. Jimmy had no idea how Chazz found out about them, but they looked like places that were guaranteed to house all kinds of strange diseases.
"Bacteria," Jimmy repeated.
"Okay," Chazz said slowly. "Just so we're clear, the reason you're saying no to rimming is intestinal bacteria."
"Yes," Jimmy said.
"Except I'm going to be the one with my tongue in your ass," Chazz clarified.
"I ate at that Portuguese place the other day," Jimmy said. The table was sticky and there was an odd smudge on his glass and the food was way too cheap and they gave him a ton of it.
"I ate off your plate," Chazz said. "Whatever bacteria you have is already squirming around in my gut, so there's no harm in adding a few more."
Jimmy narrowed his eyes. Rimming had seemed almost promising based on the first few sentences of the article. A little scary, maybe, and really, well, gay, but he'd gotten kind of excited reading it, so he thought promising was a good word. Jimmy wasn't sure he even believed that people could have orgasms from that alone, though the thought was intriguing. But the entire thing was quickly becoming the subject of the most unsexy talk he'd ever had with Chazz. "Just - I don't want your tongue in my butt. I'm sorry."
"This is going to be like the blow job thing," Chazz sighed. "We're already having another blow job thing."
"It is not," Jimmy said. "Shut up." Chazz brought up the blow job thing all the time, like it was his greatest accomplishment, the greatest argument he'd won, in the history of ever. It almost made Jimmy want to never let Chazz's mouth near him again. Almost.
**
Jimmy found Chazz reading the wikipedia article over breakfast the next morning, a spoonful of cereal paused in midair halfway on its journey to Chazz's mouth. "Did you see this?" Chazz asked, when he noticed that Jimmy was there.
"What?"
"About the orgasms? I could give you an orgasm just by licking your butt. And you don't want to try it. What's wrong with you?"
"You can't give me an orgasm just from that, Chazz."
"You don't know that," Chazz insisted and poked at the piece of paper. "It says it can happen right here. Would this wikipediatric place lie?"
Jimmy didn't bother to correct him. "It also said you can get Hepatitis, Chlamydia, and Herpes."
"Do you have Herpes?" Chazz asked, finally eating the spoonful of cereal that he'd been holding since Jimmy walked into the room. It was impressive really, holding a spoon of milk and mush for that long without spilling.
"No."
"Well, neither do I, so I think orgasms win that argument." Chazz dropped the spoon back into the bowl with a triumphant plunk.
"No," Jimmy said again.
Chazz pointed at the bottom of the sheet. "We can use this dam thingie. It sounds unsexy, but you won't give me any of these parasites you're so worried about."
"It's - the whole thing just seems really gay, doesn't it?" Jimmy asked suddenly, not quite sure where the question came from.
Chazz blinked at him. "Not really."
"It doesn't seem gay to you? It's just, yeah. A little gay," Jimmy concluded, lamely.
Chazz eyed Jimmy's shirt (okay, so there were sequins on it) and then said, "Dude, I've been letting you stick your dick up my ass on an almost regular basis. No, this doesn't seem that gay. Not anymore. Anyway, who cares? We're two dudes. The stuff we do is bound to seem pretty gay, yeah? We're a male figure skating pair. That's gay right there to most people, and yet we're completely awesome together on the ice. Ergo, rimming is not gay, but completely awesome."
"I guess," Jimmy sighed, refusing to try to work out Chazz's logic. "I'll think about it, okay?"
Chazz nodded, seemingly appeased. "I can live with that. For now."
"Thank you," Jimmy said.
"Just try to think fast. I can live with it, but not for that long."
**
Jimmy was just about to wash his hands when the door knob rattled and he heard Chazz curse.
"What are you doing?" Chazz asked from the other side of the door.
"I'm going to the bathroom, what do you think I'm doing?" He was done going to the bathroom, but hell if he was going to open the door now.
"Can I come in?"
"Why? You don't need to watch me pee," Jimmy said, and turned on the sink.
"I watch you pee in public all the time," Chazz countered. "Are you almost done?"
"What? You do not," Jimmy said. He glanced back at the door and wiped his hands on a towel.
"It's not anything gross," Chazz insisted. "I just want to come in sometimes. I'm not being kinky, I swear."
Jimmy didn't even want to know what could possibly be kinky about being in the bathroom while someone else was peeing. He checked his hair in the mirror and opened the door. "I don't come in while you're going to the bathroom."
Chazz shrugged and slid a hand around the back of Jimmy's neck, pulling Jimmy toward him. "I don't close the door when I use the bathroom."
"I know," Jimmy sighed. "About that -"
"Shut up," Chazz said, and then his hands were at the front of Jimmy's pants and his tongue was in Jimmy's mouth and Jimmy couldn't have continued arguing even if he'd wanted to. It wasn't long before Chazz had Jimmy pressed against the bedroom wall, and then sprawled across the carpet, his jeans down around his ankles.
"Chazz," Jimmy gasped when Chazz's mouth left Jimmy's right nipple and began slowly moving down Jimmy's stomach. And then Chazz had reached Jimmy's belly button, and Jimmy couldn't help it, he laughed a little, because it always tickled whether he knew it was coming or not. It seemed to amuse Chazz and as a result he gave it a lot of attention.
"I'm going to get rug burn," Jimmy managed to get out, and then he stopped talking, because Chazz's mouth was around him now and it felt so good and Jimmy still had issues with it that he couldn't really articulate, but he'd stopped resisting mostly, because for some reason Chazz loved it, and when Jimmy managed to stop thinking and just feel, he really really loved it too.
It was a weird submissive thing, Jimmy thought. That was his problem. He was trying not to think, shouldn't be thinking when Chazz's tongue was doing that thing that made Jimmy's entire body curl, but there it was. Something about this, lying here with Chazz's mouth wrapped around him made him feel like - like - wait. "What are - ? Stop! Chazz, no," Jimmy said, his voice cracking a little as he scrambled out from under Chazz.
"Come on! I don't care about bacteria," Chazz said, trying to pull Jimmy back toward him.
"Well I do," Jimmy insisted.
"It's like the blow job thing," Chazz insisted. He reached over and slapped Jimmy's naked ass. "I'll win you over."
Jimmy huffed a little, pulled up his pants, straightened out his clothes. The thing that Chazz always forgot was that sure, he got his blow jobs, but he also ended up spread out across a bed with Jimmy's fingers up his - well. The point was that Jimmy wasn't the only one who had quirks about things. He wasn't the only one who'd been convinced to improvise a little.
**
Jimmy couldn't believe he was in the middle of a shopping mall food court and about to ask the question he was about to ask. He stared at Jesse, who stared back, patiently. "Okay," Jimmy said. "I'm just going to say it."
He'd never really been that close with Jesse. Like they'd worked together forever and they'd spent a lot of time together because of Coach, but he wouldn't say they were best friends. He didn't think Jesse particularly liked him, really. He sort of suspected that Jesse had always thought he was a whiny brat. Still, Jimmy didn't know who else to ask. He didn't know that many gay people. There was pretty much just Jesse and Hector. Jimmy hadn't seen Hector in a while, which he thought was probably a good thing. And he was positive that his lawyer would agree that going to Hector to talk about this was a giant no-no. And there was Coach, but yeah, no way. Jesse was his best bet.
"Okay," Jimmy said again.
Jesse nodded, folded his hands on the table and raised an eyebrow.
"Have you ever tried rimming?" Jimmy blurted quickly.
"Oh hell no," Jesse said and moved to stand up. Jimmy quickly reached out and gripped Jesse's arm.
"No, please. I'm just - I don't have anyone else to talk to."
"I don't know why you two are always coming to me with this stuff," Jesse muttered. He did sit back down though. And then he pointed at Jimmy and said, "I'm a choreographer, not a sex therapist. Remember that."
"Do you think I'm gay?" Jimmy asked. They might not be friends but that didn't change the fact that he'd known Jesse a long time.
"I don't know," Jesse said. "It doesn't matter what I think. Do you think you're gay?"
"I don't know," Jimmy said. "No."
"Well then there you go. See, you don't need me for this."
"Chazz wants to um, he wants to lick my, um -" Jimmy trailed off and just kind of waved his hand around a little. He hoped Jesse would understand.
Jesse closed his eyes. He looked like he was counting to ten. Eventually he turned his attention back to Jimmy and said, "So what's the problem."
Jimmy made a face. "It's like - I don't know. Do people do that? Normal people?"
"Normal people stay out of bed with someone like Chazz, so no."
Jimmy frowned and looked away.
"I'm sorry," Jesse conceded. "That was mean. Chazz is obsessed with you, Jimmy. He's head over heals. Let the poor man lick your ass and get it over with. You'll love it. I promise."
"He's not obsessed with me," Jimmy said.
"Generally you don't start up with that unless you're obsessed, honey. In love. All that good stuff."
"He's obsessed with sex," Jimmy amended. "That doesn't really have anything to do with me."
Jesse sighed. "Okay, well, let him lick your ass, don't let him. I don't care. Your five minutes are up. I thought we came here to buy shoes."
**
Jimmy dropped two boxes of sneakers on the floor, kicked off the shoes he was wearing, and called out for Chazz.
"In here," Chazz said from the living room. Jimmy heard some shuffling and headed toward the noise. The living room was dark except for the flicker of the television.
"Hey," Chazz said, gesturing Jimmy toward the couch. Jimmy eyed him. Chazz was all spread out, his sweatpants crooked, his hand resting discreetly - or so Chazz probably hoped - over his groin.
"What were you doing?" Jimmy asked.
"Nothing," Chazz said. "Did you buy stuff?"
"Running shoes. They were -" Jimmy stopped. The television had just moaned. And now it was panting. "What is that?"
"It's porn," Chazz said, matter of fact. He removed his hand from his erection, visible through the sweatpants.
"You're kidding," Jimmy said.
"Nope."
"You were -" He gestured toward Chazz's sweatpants. "Oh, gross."
"Sit down," Chazz said and pointed to the couch beside him.
"It's not - you're not watching yourself, are you?" Jimmy took a few steps toward the couch, but stayed out of line with the television.
"Of course not," Chazz scoffed. "Why? Do you want - I have the video in the other room."
"No," Jimmy said. "No, that's okay."
"Sit down," Chazz said again. "It will be worth it, I promise."
Jimmy started to say that he couldn't see how, then took one look at Chazz's smirk, crossed the room and curled up on the couch beside Chazz.
"Is there a plot?" Jimmy asked. He really wasn't familiar with porn at all.
"Of course there is a plot," Chazz scoffed. "That's Candy. She just got back from some kind of adult cheerleading camp where she had a lot of sex with her best friend. Bambi. Now she's home and she's tired and she's going to order a pizza. And then she'll fuck the pizza guy. And her neighbor - I can't remember if he has a name. He sees the two going at it through the window and then comes over for a threesome. Except then her boyfriend or lover or whoever comes home and he's pretty damn upset at first but then he comes to his senses and the whole thing becomes a gang bang."
"This is for straight people?" Jimmy asked. There seemed to be a lot guys in that equation. Candy was lying on her bed taking off her clothes. Her boobs were huge and round. One of them was about the same size as Jimmy's head. "What is she doing?"
"What do you think she's doing?" Chazz asked just as Candy slipped her fingers inside her panties and then reached for a vibrator on the nightstand. It was huge and pink and plastic looking. Candy closed her eyes and licked the end of it.
"Gross," Jimmy said, quietly. He wrapped his arms around his knees. The door bell rang and Candy, who was not a very good actress, pouted and went to answer it. "That's the pizza guy?"
"Yep," Chazz grunted.
"She's going to…that's disgusting."
"He can't be that hot," Chazz explained. "A lot of dudes hate that."
"Oh," Jimmy said. "Is that how you ended up in porn?"
"Oh, so funny," Chazz said.
The guy, who was built, but balding and looked like someone had broken his nose at one point, set down the pizza and followed Candy to the bedroom, where she immediately stripped and reached for her large pink vibrator again. She leaned back on the bed and spread her legs and the gross pizza guy took the vibrator and then she reached down and parted her hairless - "Okay, I don't want to watch anymore," Jimmy said and covered his face with his hand. It didn't really help. He could still hear it.
Chazz reached for Jimmy's hand, pulled it away from Jimmy's face. Jimmy shut his eyes instead.
"I have gay porn," Chazz suggested. "You want that? I'll switch it."
"No," Jimmy said. The last thing he wanted was to watch gay porn right now. "It's not her, it's her and him and just the whole thing is disgusting."
Chazz seemed to have stopped paying attention to Jimmy because instead of responding he said, "oh, see. The neighbor wants in on that action. Can you blame him?"
"I'm going to go in the other room," Jimmy said, but Chazz set a hand on his arm to stop him.
"I know what will make this better for you," Chazz offered.
"What?" Jimmy asked and Chazz didn't answer, just started pushing at Jimmy's folded legs instead.
"Spread out a little," Chazz instructed.
"What are you doing?" Jimmy asked, letting Chazz stretch his legs out in front of him.
"The problem here is that this isn't how porn is supposed to be watched," Chazz said. "This isn't Bridge Over Madison County. You don't watch porn for the story. You watch porn for the orgasms."
"I'm not jerking off to this," Jimmy said, but he didn't stop Chazz from reaching for the front of his pants.
"I never said you were. Watch the movie," Chazz said and Jimmy glanced up at the screen just in time to see Candy swallow two dicks at once. Or try to swallow them anyway. They mostly ended up going in one at a time and just sliding sloppily all over her face while she moaned.
"You aren't going to -"
"Nope," Chazz said. "You'll get no blow jobs from me until you learn to appreciate them more." He pushed Jimmy's underwear down so that he could wrap a hand around Jimmy's erection.
"Oh," Jimmy said, and closed his eyes.
Chazz smacked his shoulder and said, "Watch the movie!"
"I don't - oh," Jimmy said again. Chazz was really good with his hands. Probably because he spent so much time using them to jerk off. "Okay."
Jimmy didn't care about the movie. He was itching to get his hands on Chazz, to do something, not just sit there, but when he moved to touch Chazz, Chazz slapped his hands away.
"Why -?" Jimmy tried again and Chazz made a frustrated noise, moving quickly to swing his leg up onto the couch, to straddle Jimmy.
"You're trying to crush me now?" Jimmy asked and then stopped talking because his mouth was occupied with kissing instead. Chazz's hands were back on him and Chazz didn't stop Jimmy this time when Jimmy's hands automatically went to rest on Chazz's thighs. With the way that Chazz was straddling and the amount of space between them there wasn't much room for Jimmy to do much other than hold on. His hands rubbed Chazz's thighs a little through his sweatpants.
Jimmy couldn't see much of the movie anymore, but he could hear it, the pants and moans, the sound of skin hitting skin. His own noises blurred in with the movie so that he stopped being able to tell what noises he made and what was on the television. Chazz's hand was working faster now and Jimmy couldn't take it, he wanted to squirm away, get away from Chazz's eyes and his hands and the sounds of the strangers having sex on the TV. It was too much.
"Chazz, oh God, stop," Jimmy managed to get out and then Chazz did that thing that he did, the thing with his thumb and his wrist. It drove Jimmy insane and Chazz knew it, Chazz loved it, and Jimmy couldn't continue to argue, couldn't do much of anything but gasp and jerk beneath the weight of Chazz's body. And then Chazz said something, something crude and stupid that would have completely ruined the moment if Jimmy could concentrate and listen to the words. But Jimmy was too far gone and Chazz did it again with the thumb and the wrist and then he bit Jimmy's shoulder though the thin fabric of his T-shirt and that was it. Jimmy came all over them both.
"Conclusion," Chazz said, flopping back onto the couch. "Porn. It's good."
Jimmy just grunted a little and reached for the front of Chazz's sweatpants.
"See," Chazz said. "This is what I like about you."
"What? That I'm having sex with you?"
"Well, yes. That was mostly what I was going to say. But also, you like having sex. You're almost always ready for sex. I bet most people don't know that about you."
"Wow," Jimmy said, pulling off his shirt. "I sound really slutty."
"No," Chazz said. "It's because you're new at it. But not a virginy teenage girl. You're like a teenage boy who never masturbated. Except you're thirty so no one is going to jail."
"Oh," Jimmy said, not sure how he was supposed to respond to that.
"It's a good thing."
"Okay…"
"The only bad thing is that you won't let me in the bathroom. Oh, and you won't let me lick your ass. Yet. That's a problem."
"Okay," Jimmy said, not really listening to Chazz anymore. "Hold on. We need stuff for this."
And before he could even move, Chazz had produced a bottle of lube from the couch cushions.
"Why was that there?"
"I was watching porn," Chazz shrugged. "I might have needed it. But see, that's what you like about me. I’m prepared."
Jimmy grabbed the lube from Chazz's hand. "Please shut up now."
Chazz grunted and pushed Jimmy back on the couch. "Don't need to tell me twice."
**
Jimmy watched Chazz rehearse the choreography that he kept missing with Jesse. Chazz was great at the physical - the jumps and the spins and the holds. It was the footwork and dance bits, the flourish that Chazz just didn't really care about and therefore needed some extra time with. The show pony stuff, he liked to say. It wasn't that Chazz didn't know it. Jimmy knew that he did. It was that Chazz thought that part of the program was lame, would routinely roll his eyes through it and wouldn't bother to extend anything until the actual competition, when he generally nailed it all perfectly. It was fine with Jimmy. He trusted Chazz to have it down when the time came to nail it. That was how Chazz worked.
Jesse, on the other hand. It drove Jesse insane. Which was why they were watching Chazz perform the piece over and over again without any of the jumps or spins or holds. Just sitting their watching while Chazz ran through it again and again, bitching and moaning the entire time.
After half an hour Jimmy got bored, started doodling on the stack of papers that were resting on the crate beside him. Coach had left for coffee and Jesse and Chazz weren't paying any attention to Jimmy, except every once in a while when Chazz would cut in close to Jimmy to say something crude or even just to wink suggestively. Probably to make sure that Jimmy knew that he was still there. More likely because it broke up the routine and pissed Jesse off further.
Jimmy stopped doodling - spirals mostly; he liked fluid looking shapes - and watched Chazz extend an arm almost all the way, do a few half spins and then come to a stop inches in front of Jesse's toes.
"Funny," Jesse said. "you run over my feet and I'll kill you."
"I'd like to see you try, little man," Chazz retorted.
"Don't tempt me," Jesse said. If it came down to it, Jimmy would bet his money on Jesse in an instant.
"The choreographer thinks he can take on the big bad skater man?" Chazz asked, pouting a little at Jesse.
Jesse pointed a finger. "I can make your life hell. Don't you forget that."
Jimmy tuned them out after that, figured he'd notice if they actually came to blows. And if they didn't then it wasn't actually that interesting. Also Jesse would definitely win. Jesse could definitely bring Jimmy down, and Jimmy was almost positive that he could win a fight against Chazz. He could run faster at any rate.
Jimmy stared at the sheet of paper and then started to make a list. On the left he wrote the word 'gay' and underlined it. On the right, 'straight.' In the gay column he wrote 'sleeping with a man and enjoying it. A lot.' He added 'personal hygeine' and 'shiny hair' and then crossed them both out. Only people like Chazz thought that clean equaled gay. On the right he wrote 'kissed Katie - nice' and 'women's hips' and 'the way they smell'. Then he went back to the left and added the way Chazz smells. Most of the time.' He stared at the list. It seemed pretty inconclusive.
On the one hand, he was sleeping with a guy. He was probably pretty emotionally invested in sleeping with a guy, though he tried not to dwell on that a whole lot. Either way, that was a huge point in the gay column. On the other hand, he'd almost had a girlfriend. He'd enjoyed kissing Katie. And the only reason he hadn't had a girlfriend earlier was because he was so busy, so focused on his skating. On the other other hand, if he'd really wanted a girlfriend he would have gone out of his way to find one before he turned 29. But he did find one at 29. But then he left her for a man. But it wasn't just a man, it was Chazz, who claimed that he was irresistible to every gender. Jimmy wasn't sure he believed that, but then he'd fallen for it, hadn't he? Still, Jimmy didn't think he had enough experience or information to come to a conclusion based on the list. The porn woman had grossed him out, but then so had the porn guys. He didn't think that sleeping with an actual woman would be gross like that. Not a woman he knew and liked.
"What are you doing?" Chazz asked.
"Nothing," Jimmy said and quickly covered the list with his hand.
"Who would win a fight, me or Jesse?"
"Jesse," Jimmy said immediately.
"Wow. You'd think Jesse was the one getting you off every night, traitor."
"Sorry. I thought you wanted the truth."
"Yeah," Chazz said and tried to look around Jimmy's hand at the sheet of paper. "Is that about me?"
"It's not poetry if that's what you're thinking, no."
Chazz shrugged. "Not everyone can be a literacy master."
"Exactly," Jimmy agreed. "you know, we both know you've got this program down. If you just nail it once we can move on with our lives."
"Where's the fun?" Chazz asked. He set his hand over Jimmy's and then leaned in and kissed him, a dirty messy lewd kiss. Jimmy didn't let go of the paper. He wasn't that easy. Chazz sighed and said, "I've written poetry about you, you know. I'll read it to you sometime."
"That's okay," Jimmy said. "I'm sure it's, um, very poetic." They were probably poems about his ass or something.
"They are," Chazz agreed. "They're about your ass."
Jimmy nodded. "Rhymes with class. Hey, Jesse's back."
"Damn," Chazz said. "Later, gorgeous." He released Jimmy's hand and patted Jimmy's cheek before skating back over to continue messing with Jesse's blood pressure.
"Ow," Jimmy said, even though the pat hadn't hurt. He ripped the paper into pieces and threw it out before Chazz's next break.
**
Jimmy knew, as soon as the question was out of his mouth, that he really shouldn't have said anything at all. Chazz froze, which was when Jimmy started to suspect that he'd screwed up. And then it got worse. Chazz started to babble.
"How many times do - who cares?" Chazz asked, removing his tongue from behind Jimmy's ear. "So what if you like dick and only dick. I have no problem with you liking dick. Seriously. None. I like dick - not all the time. I like the ladies, of course. But sometimes I like dick, you know. It's just sex, man. It's like what that artist said, the Campbell's soup artist. Labels are for cans, man. Andy Kauffman. I like that you like my dick. I have a nice dick. Are you - do you not like - I have a great dick."
"No," Jimmy said, cutting Chazz off before the whole thing got too out of hand. It was probably already too late. "I do. I mean, you do. I just - forget it."
Chazz seemed to consider and then nodded, dropping it far more quickly than Jimmy had expected him to drop any sort of perceived slight against his penis. Jimmy sighed and shifted and tried to relax and enjoy the feeling of Chazz's erection pressed against his leg, Chazz's hands on his arms, gripping. He was enjoying it. He was. He was completely hard, so obviously he was enjoying it. But that was kind of the problem really.
"I care," Jimmy insisted, suddenly. He pushed a little at Chazz. "I get it. I mean, the labels are for cans thing. I get that, except I'm pretty sure that's not who painted the soup and I don't think he was the one who said it anyway, but it's still a good quote. It is. But I care, Chazz. Because I think it's something that I should have kinda figured out, you know? I mean, I'm thirty."
"I think you think it's more important than it is," Chazz insisted.
"But how do you know?" Jimmy asked. "If you're gay, I mean."
Chazz shrugged. "Sleep with someone. A lady."
"I'm not - I'm sleeping with you."
"Then I guess you're not gonna know."
"You want to sleep with other people?"
"That's not what I said," Chazz disagreed. He thought about it for a moment and then kissed Jimmy's shoulder and smiled. "We could have a threesome."
"No."
Chazz shrugged again and tried really hard to look like he wasn't just a little disappointed. It didn't work.
"What are we doing?" Jimmy asked. They'd been doing it for six months and Jimmy still wasn't really sure. The skating part - that he got. The sleeping together and sharing a bed stuff, not so much.
"You want an outline?" Chazz asked, his voice muffled against the skin of Jimmy's elbow. "I was gonna make it up as we went. Follow my nose."
"Follow your nose?"
"Follow my dick," Chazz amended.
**
"Are you going to be here this afternoon?" Chazz asked when Jimmy returned from his Pilates class.
"Why?"
"Someone is coming over."
"Who?"
"No one," Chazz said, a little too quickly.
"Who?" Jimmy asked again.
"Her name is Yvonne."
"Why is she coming here?"
"She's a - " Chazz started, but the sentence was interrupted by a coughing fit.
"She's a what?"
"Listen, I have an appointment this afternoon at the um, doctors for this rash that I have. So if you can just stay here and take care of Yvonne that would be -"
"She's a what?" Jimmy asked again. "You don't have a rash."
"Well, technically she's a personal escort," Chazz said, making air quotes on the word escort.
"You didn't."
"I'm returning the favor! You ordered a hooker for me once!" Chazz burst out. "You need one more than I ever did, buddy."
"She's a hooker? You're serious. She's coming here?"
"Well," Chazz started and looked like he was at a loss. "Yeah."
"Chazz, I'm not sleeping with a hooker. I'm not."
"And just so that you know," Chazz continued. "The bedroom is all set up."
"What? What does that mean?"
"I'm not going to miss this."
"All set up? What did you - cameras? You hid a camera in the bedroom?"
"No," Chazz said, quickly. "That's not what it means. I just put some condoms on the table! Condoms are important! I'm thinking of your health! I have a rash, you know!"
"Shut up about the rash, Chazz. That's one of the worst excuses you've come up with. I saw you naked like four hours ago, idiot. And I'm not sleeping with a hooker so stop," Jimmy said and then stalked into the bedroom. There actually was a stack of condoms on the table, right next to a small bottle of lubricant. Jimmy picked up the condoms, crumpled them in his hand a little, and then dropped the packets again. "Where did you put it?"
"What?"
"The camera!"
"There is no -" Chazz inched closer to a pile of stuffed animals that Jimmy had sitting on top of a dresser. "There's no camera. I was kidding."
"Have you been taping us?" Jimmy asked, suddenly, pushing Chazz aside and tossing stuffed monkeys and unicorns on the floor until he dislodged the video camera.
"No," Chazz said. "Can I?"
"No! That's - this is disgusting." Jimmy shoved the camera at Chazz.
"It's beautiful and natural!" Chazz grunted, hugging the camera to his chest.
"You better not have taped us," Jimmy warned.
"Oh," Chazz said. "There you go, pretending you're so above it."
"What, I'm not -"
"I saw you the other day. You got off, man. You got off watching porn."
"With you jerking me off, yeah," Jimmy argued. "The porn had nothing to do with it." The porn probably had a little to do with it.
"We should tape it. You should see yourself. You'll come so hard that your eyeballs will -"
"Call the hooker," Jimmy said, cutting him off. His face was red, he could feel it. "Cancel or whatever you do. I'm not sleeping with a hooker. I'm not."
Chazz nodded and then said, "Okay. So, I was thinking about getting a mirror for the ceiling."
Jimmy sighed. "No."
**
Jimmy spent the rest of the morning searching the bedroom for any other hidden recording equipment. It seemed that the camera in the stuffed animals was the only one. He did find a stack of Playboys mixed in with Chazz's Men's Health magazines (Chazz didn't read Men's Health, but Coach had forced him to subscribe). Jimmy flipped through the Playboys, frowned, studied them a little, decided large breasts were kind of scary, and then tossed them back under the pile of Men's Health. He stared for a second at the piles of dvds and videos that Chazz thought of as recommended viewing for Jimmy and were therefore strategically placed in a pile on the bedroom floor. Jimmy mostly just tried to ignore that they were there. Finally, convinced that he wasn't being secretly recorded, Jimmy went to find Chazz, who was in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator.
"We have no food. I’m ordering pizza."
"We have a ton of food."
"Nothing as good as pizza," Chazz disagreed.
"So, like, are you okay?" Jimmy asked. "I mean, with me."
Chazz blinked at him. "Is this still about the camera? Cause I don't get it."
"No, it's - I mean, with me not being a girl. You know," Jimmy gestured. "Boobs and stuff."
"Jimmy," Chazz sighed. He was holding the phone about to dial, but set it down and leaned against the counter. "You've gotta figure this out, cause I'm kinda sick of it."
"Figure wh - I know. I'm trying," Jimmy said.
"Well," Chazz said. "How about Katie."
"Katie?"
"Yeah," Chazz said. "Sleep with Katie." He sounded a little short, clipped. "If it's hot sexy fun, then you're not gay. You're into the ladies and me. Nothing wrong there. If it's like having sex with your sister, then you probably are. Nothing wrong there either. I win either way."
"Chazz, gross. I don't - Katie is my friend."
"Right," Chazz agreed. "She's your friend. She's hot. She's not a hooker. And you know she wants you."
"I'm not - no."
"Okay," Chazz nodded. He seemed to relax a little. "So we just need to find you someone to sleep with who we don't have to pay, but who isn't someone you're friends with."
"We don't have to do any of that," Jimmy insisted. "Can't we pretend I never brought any of this up?"
"I tried that," Chazz said. "And then you brought it up again. And here we are. I have an idea."
"What?"
"We have sex now," Chazz said and it was so predictable that Jimmy actually rolled his eyes.
"I'm not doing anything with you. Not if you actually have some kind of rash."
"You don't want to examine me?" Chazz asked. It was followed by an exaggerated wink. It was actually kind of creepy.
"I don't get that. Playing doctor. What's up with that?"
"You wouldn't get it," Chazz retorted. "No imagination."
"I have an imagination."
"Okay," Chazz agreed. "Sure you do. How about we just forget about the doctor stuff and have sex now."
"So there is no rash, right? I don't even want to guess where you would have gotten a rash."
"There is no rash!" Chazz said, exasperated finally. He took a deep breath and then removed his shirt, dropped it on the kitchen floor. "There is no rash, but I think my penis is broken. Come on. Fix it for me."
"I hate you," Jimmy muttered, but he picked up Chazz's shirt from the floor and followed him toward the bedroom anyway.
The Other Team, part 2