here's that feeling again. the losing a race right at the end, and realizing i never really even started. the begining of the end of something that never was. it has a crippling affect. i am envious of the guys that can just write this shit off, but that ain't me.

uhg wtf have i done?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." Jim Morrison

That pretty much sums everything up from the previous post...

ativan +1

zachary

how can someone be this hard to get over?

being jobless blows, especially right before a major trip. but for some reason, i feel really good lately. and im excited about someone, and it feels good.

zachary

amsterdam march 17th-21st.

like woah.

zachary

this isnt some new name i half expect myself to believe in. this is a new life. a new opportunity. an oppurtunity to leave this fucking place.

its time to seize the days we have left. un-guarantied tomorrows dont do enough for me.

"when life is hard, you have to change."

zachary.

fall '05 in Colorado (??)

i wish the roads were a little bit longer on my way home tonight, and maybe i could of thought of something to fight this feeling a little better. Its a lonely time tonight for some reason. I need some direction.

and i definitely could of needed it.

zachary

you made me smile a smile i am still smiling.

<3

zachary

He tried to swim across troubled waters one too many times, and last night he died trying ( Read more... )

this just seems like something i could need. she's really a sweetheart. We havent made it on any of the dates we've made, but shit's been coming up for both of us. Whenever we do actually get to spend sometime together, i think it'll be a really good thing for the both of us ( Read more... )