She spoke; her attention somewhere distant. A glassy look rummaged through scattered explanations. A dialogue recited as a monologue pausing every so often to include my nod of understanding. She seldom left that far off place she'd leave me for and I wondered where she trailed off to, who waited for her there... or what visited her in those ( Read more... )

She used to comb her dark hair back with trembling fingers. That's all you could ever see! Dressed from collar bone to toes, hand to hand, it was no mystery how she stayed so pale. I remember this one time that her pants seemed shrunken and I peeped her socks; one white and the other, well the other, must have been miss-washed with the colors. Her ( Read more... )

Hey, girl, in the checkered dress ( Read more... )

I always automatically assume that the choked throat, eye tearing, heart throbbing feeling is one of sadness but I couldn't be more wrong. The overwhelming emotion of gratitude just seems to exhibit the same characteristics but the sensation in my spirit is very distinct ( Read more... )

These moments when questions distract me from any sense of purpose, or motion, or peace, are unnerving. It's so exhausting trying to figure things out. Even more so to understand it's not mine to own. I know to sit still in times like these but that, too, is frustrating my energy. I'm so used to justifying and running. Not even really sure when ( Read more... )

It's taking the breath out of me to rewire these songs that I listened to on repeat those nights when the only cure to the loud voices were the louder music. As lovely as the rhythms, the words and their intentions were they coupled with my internal turmoil, the self inflicted suffering and my preference for destruction. Now, the rotten past that ( Read more... )

Last night I watched a single ant scurry across the stretch of identicle tiles. I smiled wondering if I was the only one silly enough to notice these things or more importantly, the only one interested enough to follow him. I thought very much of myself as that small, seemingly meaningless creature walking across unfamiliar territory. The way Life ( Read more... )

I do my best not to measure myself according to others and others according to myself. When I catch myself doing this only two emotions present themselves: feelings of being less than or complete disillusionment with the human condition. I practice acceptance only because if I don't I can quickly spiral into that angsty apathy I used to drown ( Read more... )

To Let Her Be or Not to BeA pail of gold is what she wanted but instead a skin of old - pale is what she got. Snow White ever so lovely in her glass coffin. Even with her innards sprawled outside of her pale flesh, now with a tint of purple, her surreal smile, as if she knew death was not the end, frightened their tiny hearts and shook their tiny ( Read more... )

My rediculously analytical self is overwhelming me. Do I really need to savagely disect at my brain to understand why I tick the way I do? Is it condusive to changing this burdening behavior? On some days, when I am at peace with myself, I need not understand. Yet, at strange hours of the night an anxiety creeps in that manipulates me into thinking ( Read more... )