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Daring and Vulnerable Iam Drowning
My irritability is sky rocketing. Short fuses, quick nips, all bark and bite. Self contempt is applying all weight to my chest and my breathing staggers. It is almost a welcoming feeling as my mind dizzies into a throbbing pain wiping all matters of the mind to a blank. I want to cry, I need to cry, I long to cry yet my tears are dry before they ( Read more... ) -
So, I ordered chinese food tonight...
...only to open a fortune cookie that read:
"There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead of you"
Coincidence, much?
W.T.F. moments are L.O.L. -
Dear God,
Any exuberant amount of energy spent on feeling one emotion, be it positive or negative, drains me. Too excited about new prospects sickens me with anxieties. I have no strength to tell myself it will be okay, that I don’t need this right now, that it can wait. Because I don’t want to wait. I feel the moment fleeting, teasing me with what can be. I ( Read more... ) -
Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind Possessing and caressing me
I’ve been in a lot of confusion. Realizations murdering my family. My imagination envisioning their death. I smell the future festering. Sickened by the stench my stomach does back flips, my vision blackens in-out and my lungs feel like an imminent implosion ( Read more... ) -
Be Still My Dear. Your World, Unreal.
They're stifling me. Arriving uninvited and unwelcome. Pressuring me with their shady presence. Communicating with their high pitched humming their (malicious?) intents. Resting only when I am drugged. They say it is time, that it is close, but they fail to explain what is approaching. Anxieties of their expectations of me erupt. Inhale 1234, Hold ( Read more... ) -
Ecstatic!
Not only do I have an awesome day job but I also have an awesome night job now. The winds are shifting directions pulling me forward along the difficult forked roads. I flow with life not forcing it to twist fate my way. Eventually, life gives to me what I need in the form of what I want. -
Quantum Physician...
I received his letter today baring his birth name. A red stamp warning me of uncensored mail from the Indian County Jail. My heart sinking as I immediately pried the envelop open. I admit now that the thin, one sheet of paper was a disappointment as I had waited a month (but what seemed eternity) for his words. To know that he is okay, holding up ( Read more... ) -
I should have known better...
Ow.
The gut wrenching disappointment that settles at the back of my throat and the tease of that great expectation pain me.
