I want something to go wrong with this treatment, so that I don't have to be the one to decide to stop it. I want it to be not working, or the side effects get too dangerous, so that it's not worth it and I get to stop. I just don't want it to have to be me that decides that, and therefore me that didn't give it my best effort.

It's hard to be real on FB, so I'm going to try to write on here when things are shit. I know I've said that before and not followed through, so there's a good chance it won't happen ( Read more... )

Quick glance over sporadic last few posts... nothing has changed. Nothing at all. I still feel incapable of life and am really hard on myself about it, but don't do anything about it.

Things that are a bit shit include ( Read more... )

I've been staying at my parents place in Burnaby for the last week, and will be for the next week and a half as well. Before that I was in St Pauls hospital for 10 days of IV antibiotics. I'm on home IV now, which is why I'm at my parents. My house is too dirty, loud, and full of my four housemates plus whichever friends they have over. Just how I ( Read more... )

I'm worried that maybe I'm just a crap person. I think I am inherently lazy, to the extent of even being sneaky in order to do less. That's not how I want to be ( Read more... )

I'm going to Japan in 2 weeks and 5 days ( Read more... )

I've decided to start writing in here again, but make it kind of for real this time. Nothing held back. Because I don't think anyone really reads this anymore, so it's safe ( Read more... )

• seeing this guy mike. he's amazing. relationship's amazing. how unexpected!
  
• work is teaching part time, doing costumes for dance, and looking for full time work.... considering a degree in computer science just because it'd be a bit more employable...
  
• living in a beautiful house with beautiful people. Makes such a difference having a place to call ( Read more... )

• I'm leaning towards going to London to get my things in April/May for a coupla weeks, coming back and Staying Put. Defer MA entry and do it next year if that feels right. I'm excited about the thought of finding an ideal home (with several other creative, focused people) in East Van and reintegrating myself into this place, properly..,
  
  
• I'm still ( Read more... )