Excuse me, I have a problem.
No you don't. You're too young to have problems.

But, I do... And I don't like the things she says to me.
You shut up. She can say whatever she wants.

Don't you care that she hurts me? Don't you care that she's driving me insane?
I said shut up!
You can't have problems!
You're too young!

And so on and so forth ( Read more... )

Why is that I can feel you walking up behind me?
When you're so far off...
I can barely see you yet it seems
you're so close by
watching my moves like they're your own,
pretending not to notice the littlest parts of me.
I know the truth.
I know you see it all.

I can feel my lungs ripping away,
replaced with a sick dread
making its way slowly,
thickly down my throat.
If I could breathe at all
I'd surely choke
but all I can manage is some small gagging,
though no sound can be heard as evidence.

My skin
seems to be
rebelling against the rest of me,
detaching slowly away from my trembling muscles,
leaving only small ( Read more... )

I could drown tomorrow and maybe it wouldn't be that bad ( Read more... )

Been creeping close to the walls ( Read more... )

How important is this?
It's vital.
This is beyond any other need, any desire, and primal urge.
This is life.
Love...
Learning...
Nothing could ever compare to this
Nothing could ever come close to such priority
This is everything
The world will revolve around this and what it produces
Everyone will know
That everything good and everything worth while
Is ( Read more... )

I don't know what to do or say.
Kinda caught up in this train of thought, following all the same old patterns...
Self destruction
Self loathing
This is all my fault, I'd have to say. I can't really blame anyone else, can I?
Why must I use my lame rhetoric?
Again, it never falters.
My short comings...
Aren't my weaknesses...
They are my strengths...
Keep me ( Read more... )

Has it always been this way?
Had I just never noticed?
I'm not supposed to be here
I'm supposed to be safe
secure
tomorrow isn't supposed to be so
frightening
tomorrow isn't supposed to be so
ominous
and yesterday shouldn't haunt my dreams
this is all a misunderstanding, I'm sure
but why does it hurt so much?

Am I going back to old ways?
Old habits and vices ( Read more... )

I don't know.
Perhaps I spoke too fast.
Jumped in a little over my head.
I can't remember if I know how to swim.

My lungs aren't working right.
I'm taking breaths...
But I'm not getting any air...
They're filling up with water...

It doesn't affect me. I don't care.
Be a gangster.
Be a junkie.
Be a fucking prostitute, for all I care.

I will not be a bleeding heart for the billions of people I will not know.
I will not show concern.
I will not show hate.
I cannot show what is not there.