The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner: Part 7
ZeldaQueen: Dear God, this is pointless!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Part 7
ZeldaQueen: Right, so Bree hears Fred mutter about something and can't figure out if it's directed to her or not. Bree looks at him from behind and notes that he has "thick, wavy blond hair". She then comes to the conclusion that Riley was right and Fred is special. Oh, my head. So she starts off thinking that he's utterly disgusting and only starts figuring he has merits after noticing how he's attractive? GAH!
Anyway, Bree figures that Fred is waiting for an answer and tells him that he doesn't have to apologize (um, not sure what for since he saved several vampires) and thanks him. He grunts and goes back to ignoring her. Bree finds herself unable to look at him and it seems that Fred has some weird power thing were he makes everyone physically unable to look at him without being disgusted to the point of gagging. That just...that makes no sense! But whatever, I still don't care. Oh, and apparently Bree can only distract herself from thinking about Fred by thinking about Diego. Because a gal in her place doesn't have anything else to worry or think about besides the men in her life. Nope!
Diego is chilling at the other side of the room, listening to his stolen CDs, while Bree pretends to read her books. The ones in the backpack that she dragged hither and yon, through a large body of water, several times. Yes, I know she put them in waterproof bags. I still find it hard to believe that they didn't rip or leak and leave the books soaking wet.
Some time later, Riley comes back with Raol and several lackeys. Bree notes that Raoul was more subdued and either learned some respect from Fred's farts o' death or is just angry. I might add right now, I do like Fred a lot. Maybe it's because he's clearly not buying into the "I'm a vampire, therefore I'm allowed to be a total bastard and cause lots of destruction" thing, or the fact that he's the only one doing something nice for a person with no signs of it being selfish or for romantic reasons. Whatever the reason, go him.
Riley goes over to Diego and laughs and says that he's glad Diego made it back alright. God damn, how does Meyer miss all of this subtext? I expect them to have a quick kiss in the corner. Kevin is meanwhile implied to be looking for Bree, but is unable to locate her because of Fred's revulsion aura or whatever. Bree starts getting all freaked over Diego's relationship with Riley, and then we get this little gem.
"Was it a good thing Diego was in that good with Riley after all? Maybe Riley was okay. That relationship didn't compromise what we had, did it?"
ZeldaQueen: Meyer, how do you manage this? Also "[m]aybe Riley was okay"? Woman, HOW STUPID ARE YOU? Just because he's totally in love with alright with Diego doesn't mean Riley's automatically a good person/vampire! He's still kidnapping teenagers and using them! Joseph Fritzel saved a kid from drowning, yet people still think that this is overshadowed by the fact that he locked his daughter in a basement and fathered several children by her! It's called lying and pretending, many villains in literature are capable of it!
So daylight comes and everyone crowds into the basement and basically act like a bunch of preschoolers. There's music blaring and Riley's screaming for order and I'm not impressed at all. This isn't the nightmare fuel Meyer was promising us, this is just bratty teenagers with a need to drink blood! Bree, incidentally, spends all of her time hiding behind the sofa, reading. She mentions that she always leaves the books for Fred, which is unusually nice of her. She's uncertain if he reads them or not though, since she can't "look at him closely enough to see what, exactly, he did with his time". Mm, that's what she said.
Bree mentions that neither Raoul nor Kevin find her and goes on about how effective her hiding place behind the sofa is. Erm, considering all of the super sense that these vampires have, I'd say that it's through the good will of Fred that you're staying alive, my dear. Fred, who you said earlier you only put up with because he kept you safe. And apparently he's helping you out because he's genuinely being nice. Brat. Anyway, Bree keeps trying to figure out if anyone will realize that she and Diego are now friends and decides that only Fred might know and he clearly doesn't care, since he could have easily just let her die last night.
Night comes and everyone starts getting all eager to go out and eat. Riley starts calling out ten million names about who's allowed to leave and who isn't. A bit off topic, but is it just me, or does Meyer seem to have some weird thing about randomly tossing out names? I mean, it's a good throwaway, but I don't care about any of them since I don't know them. Instead, I find myself scratching my head and wondering how Riley has memorized all of these people's names when I got the impression that he didn't particularly care about any of them. I'm almost wondering if Meyer thinks that tossing out names like that makes her work seem more impressive, like having a bunch of names floating around gives the impression that there's a larger cast and thus makes the story more interesting. Might explain the end of Breaking Dawn, if that's the case.
Riley gets all nervous when he tells Fred to go out and eat and Fred basically rolls his eyes and goes out. Fred, you're awesome. Bree notes that Riley seems very anxious and figures that he's off to visit Victoria (who is still referred to as "her". For God's sake Meyer, we know already, you're not introducing Shelob!) Bree ignores both Raoul and Diego and slips out behind Kristie. I still don't care about Raoul or Kristie, incidentally. Just thought Meyer would like to know.
Bree sneaks away and freaks out that someone is following her besides Diego and hides in a tree. Diego catches up and says that "[her] plan is hard". What, so it was that difficult to pretend he didn't know some chick he met twenty-four hours ago? Bull, I say! Bree actually considers that she's being too paranoid. And yet for all of this overplanning, she still won't consider just running away! I really can't stress that enough!
Diego apologizes for how hairy things got with Raoul and Bree is grateful that Fred is so "disgusting". Really, that's the word she uses. What a sweet little girl. Anyway, Diego goes on about how it's none of their business what Fred gets up to and how they need to go tell Riley about their sparkling secret. Bree continues to show a modicum of common sense in this department and insists that she doesn't like the thought of telling Riley about this and doesn't think it's a good idea. Diego replies that "We won’t know until we see how Riley reacts". Sorry folks, excuse me.
WHAT THE HELL? YOU'RE GOING TO TELL HIM A SECRET AND ONLY FIGURE OUT IF IT'S A GOOD IDEA AFTER YOU TELL IT TO HIM? IN THAT CASE, WHY NOT GET SOME OTHER VAMPIRES TO BACK YOU UP? GET FRED TO HIDE IN THE BUSHES AND GROSS AWAY RILEY IF THINGS GO SOUTH! BRING SOME SORT OF WEAPONS! HECK, EVEN A LIGHTER WOULD DO WONDERS! JESUS H. CHRIST MEYER, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CHARACTERS TIPTOE AROUND AND ACT LIKE THEY'RE THINKING ALL YOU LIKE! UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY SHOW ANYTHING RESEMBLING COMMON SENSE, I WILL NOT BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE THE LEAST BIT INTELLIGENT!
Ah, that felt good! So yeah, Diego proposes that they track Riley, with Bree remaining a bit behind so that Riley won't know she followed. Diego will go up and tell Riley the secret and Bree will wait and hear if Riley's cool or not. I...this is just so dumb, I really don't care at all.
There's some drivel about Riley running off to see Victoria and they're both chilled by this and both agree that whatever scheme is in place will be going down soon and they need to figure everything out quickly. So they know that Riley is visiting this woman who is ultra-secret and scary, that he makes his business kidnapping children and forcing them to be vampires, that he doesn't seem to care about their wellbeing, and that he's involved in some sort of plan that's going down. And they need to know what to figure out? RUN AWAY, YOU JACKASSES! GOD!
Bree catches on to the fact that Diego's plan basically means that he takes the fall if anything goes wrong and starts to protest. He points out that he's the one who trusts Riley and it doesn't make sense for Bree to risk getting on his bad side if something does go wrong. I have to admit, it'd be a halfway clever plan if, you know, they actually took advantage of this and had Bree spy! What Diego's basically proposing is that Bree follows him to Riley's hide-out and then turns and goes home! What use is that? Why even bring her along?
So all of my logic is ignored and the two set off, with Diego on foot and Bree swinging through the trees like Tarzan. Diego's even kind enough to rustle the tree trunks when the branches get too thick, so Bree can continue to follow him. Erm, even though she ought to have super-smell and hearing and...you know what? Just forget it. The sooner we roll with it, the sooner this is over. They reach a clearing and this is just weird.
"Less than half a mile away was a large gap in the trees, an open field that covered several acres. Near the center of the space, closer to the trees on its east side, was what looked like an oversized gingerbread house. Painted bright pink, green, and white, it was elaborate to the point of ridiculousness, with fancy trim and finials on every conceivable edge. It was the kind of thing I would have laughed at in a more relaxed situation"
ZeldaQueen: What in the everloving hell? Why, in God's green Earth, is there a cottage that looks like a fucking gingerbread house in the middle of the damned woods in Washington? At least when Bella and Edward got their convenient love shack in Breaking Dawn there was the excuse that Esme renovated it! Was there previously some people who had some bizarre fairy tale fetish or enjoyed live action role playing? Or is the implication supposed to be that Victoria herself made it like that? If so...why? What purpose does it serve? If anything, it seems counter-productive, since such a gaudy, colorful house would be easier for people to find. Is Meyer trying to be "clever" and make it like an analogy to Hansel and Gretel? Is she trying to imply that Victoria is into gaudy stuff? Because if so, bullshit! There is no evidence for that anywhere else in the series, in which we see that she has no problem roughing it and running through the woods all day. Or is this some more of Meyer's weird hatred of strong women, where Victoria can kick butt and take names and needs a bright pink house with fancy trim? I don't know. Why am I so bothered by this? It just...it makes no sense!
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the surprise. Because apparently Meyer's trying to hide the fact that this is Victoria's house. Even though, you know, they already suspected that Riley was visiting her, Bree starts wondering if this is supposed to be some sort of a back-up safe house for the newborns. She decides it isn't, just because there doesn't appear to be a basement and that it's too far from Seattle. How about the fact that it seems to be visible from three miles away or so??? YOU'RE TRYING TO STAY HIDDEN! MY GOD!!!!
Diego and Bree do some elaborate song-and-dance routine to hide their scents and then sneak closer to the house. This is when they hear "[s]trange little brushing, ticking sounds" and come to the realization that Riley and Victoria are kissing. We proceed to get human kissing compared to vampire kissing, with "[n]o soft, fleshy, liquid-filled cells to squish against each other" and I have to agree with das_mervin here. That's one hella unappealing way to describe kissing. Apparently vampires are Just So Much Better. Sucks to Meyer though, because vampire kissing just sounds weird. I get this bizarre mental image of them just tapping their lips against one another, like two birds pecking each other's beaks.
Bree freaks out at the thought of stumbling on some sort of "love nest". Diego sort of shrugs and also looks freaked out. For some reason, Bree remembers the night she was transformed. And sorry that this is so long, but you must see it before I make a point here
"I thought back to that last night of humanity, flinching as I remembered the vivid burning. I tried to recall the moments just before that, through all the fuzziness…. First there was the creeping fear that had built as Riley pulled up to the dark house, the feeling of safety I’d had in the bright burger joint dissolving entirely. I was holding back, edging away, and then he’d grabbed my arm with a steel grip and yanked me out of the car like I was a doll, weightless. Terror and disbelief as he’d leaped the ten yards to the door. Terror and then pain leaving no room for disbelief as he broke my arm dragging me through the door into the black house. And then the voice.
As I focused on the memory, I could hear it again. High and singsong, like a little girl’s, but grouchy. A child throwing a
tantrum.
I remembered what she’d said. 'Why did you even bring this one? It’s too small.' Something close to that, I thought. The words might not be exactly right, but that was the meaning.
I was sure Riley had sounded eager to please when he answered, afraid of disappointing. 'But she’s another body.
Another distraction, at least.'
I think I’d whimpered then, and he’d shaken me painfully, but he hadn’t spoken to me again. It was like I was a dog, not a person.
'This whole night has been a waste,” the child’s voice had complained. “I’ve killed them all. Ugh!'
I remembered that the house had shuddered then, as if a car had collided with the frame. I realized now that she’d
probably just kicked something in frustration.
'Fine. I guess even a little one is better than nothing, if this is the best you can do. And I’m so full now I should be able to stop.'
Riley’s hard fingers had disappeared then and left me alone with the voice. I’d been too panicked at that point to make a sound. I’d just closed my eyes, though I was already totally blind in the darkness. I didn’t scream until something cut into my neck, burning like a blade coated in acid"
ZeldaQueen: Right. Where to start on this one?
First of all, Victoria has a child's voice? Really? Since when? I never particularly got that impression. I guess her presence in the books was just so little that her movie self was what took over in my mind. I'm going to have to agree with Cleolinda Jones here - if I hadn't known better, I probably would have thought that the female vampire with a child's voice who threw tantrums was Jane.
Which leads nicely to point number two, Victoria apparently being a whiny brat despite evidence to the contrary. All I've seen of her thus far is that she's apparently collected and cunning enough to evade an army of wolves and vampires for roughly two books before someone finally offs her. Granted, they're rather stupid wolves and vampires, but the point still stands. I guess Meyer's hatred of strong women just reared its ugly head and she just had to paint the villainess who evaded the beloved Cullen clan for so long as a child throwing a tantrum. If that's the case, I find it hard to believe that she's as together as I originally thought, which ironically speaks even worse of the Cullens. Seriously, with all of their experience and power, they can't catch a vampire who's apparently a tantrumy brat?
And now to point three - the fact that this fucking memory is here at all. That's one of my peeves with the vampirism. We're constantly told that vampires find it nearly impossible to keep their human memories together and that's supposed to be their excuse for being isolated from humanity. But throughout the story, the various vampires have been able to pull out memories that suit the plot just fine. Rosalie and Jasper can tell their histories, Bella is able to remember her own past just fine, and here we see that Bree is apparently able to summon her own memory of her transformation. Oh, dress it up all you like, Meyer. Add phrases like "it's fuzzy" or "I can't remember the exact words". There's still way too much detail in that to convince me that it was mostly forgotten. So I can only conclude that Bree always had it in her power to remember her past, but just never wanted to or could be bothered. Which leads to point four...
Why in the nine hells HAS SHE NOT RUN AWAY YET??? We see here that she can conjure up her memory of being essentially kidnapped. She remembered being scared, she remembered her arm being broken and being treated like an animal, she remembered hearing that these people kidnapped other teenagers and fucking killed them and knew there was a good chance they'd kill her, and she remembered them saying how she'd be a pawn. A DISTRACTION. So why, why would she continue to stick around? I know she'd have a period of dependency on Riley to learn how to handle the bloodlust and all, but wouldn't she plan to leave just as soon as she was in control? There's none of that! All we've heard about thus far is how she thinks being a vampire is fantastic and she wouldn't trade it for anything and she's glad to stick to Riley's rules. No resentment, nothing!
Point number five - YES, THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON, YOU TWAT! YOU HEARD VICTORIA SAY SOMETHING WOULD BE GOING ON, YOU KNOW FULL WELL YOU WEREN'T TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE OUT OF ALTRUISM, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE KNOWN THIS ALREADY!!!!
Last of all, Bree clearly has the same sociopathic tendencies that Bella Swan does. Because the memory shows quite clearly that Bree recalls exactly how scared she was. How much pain she was in when she was transformed. How horrific it all was. And she knows that Riley is going out and doing the exact same things to other teenagers. And she doesn't do a damned thing to stop it! I know she's only one vampire, but surely she could convince the other newborns to turn on him as well. Would she really be the only one to remember a terrifying transformation? Not to mention the fact that she remembers being in pain as she's punted around by Riley, and shows absolutely no mercy or remorse for draining the citizens of Seattle dry. None at all.
And with that, I am done for today. Finite. That's all, folks! I wash my spork of this nonsense!
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ZeldaQueen: On an unrelated note, my friend and I saw the movie of Eclipse and damned if they didn't make Bree sympathetic in it! They didn't try to make her streetwise, they left her as a scared little girl who clearly was doing her damnedst to just not die. What the hell, Meyer? When the movie canon trumps your own, you're doing something screwy
Onward to: Part 8
Back To: Part 6
Back to: Table of Contents
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Part 7
ZeldaQueen: Right, so Bree hears Fred mutter about something and can't figure out if it's directed to her or not. Bree looks at him from behind and notes that he has "thick, wavy blond hair". She then comes to the conclusion that Riley was right and Fred is special. Oh, my head. So she starts off thinking that he's utterly disgusting and only starts figuring he has merits after noticing how he's attractive? GAH!
Anyway, Bree figures that Fred is waiting for an answer and tells him that he doesn't have to apologize (um, not sure what for since he saved several vampires) and thanks him. He grunts and goes back to ignoring her. Bree finds herself unable to look at him and it seems that Fred has some weird power thing were he makes everyone physically unable to look at him without being disgusted to the point of gagging. That just...that makes no sense! But whatever, I still don't care. Oh, and apparently Bree can only distract herself from thinking about Fred by thinking about Diego. Because a gal in her place doesn't have anything else to worry or think about besides the men in her life. Nope!
Diego is chilling at the other side of the room, listening to his stolen CDs, while Bree pretends to read her books. The ones in the backpack that she dragged hither and yon, through a large body of water, several times. Yes, I know she put them in waterproof bags. I still find it hard to believe that they didn't rip or leak and leave the books soaking wet.
Some time later, Riley comes back with Raol and several lackeys. Bree notes that Raoul was more subdued and either learned some respect from Fred's farts o' death or is just angry. I might add right now, I do like Fred a lot. Maybe it's because he's clearly not buying into the "I'm a vampire, therefore I'm allowed to be a total bastard and cause lots of destruction" thing, or the fact that he's the only one doing something nice for a person with no signs of it being selfish or for romantic reasons. Whatever the reason, go him.
Riley goes over to Diego and laughs and says that he's glad Diego made it back alright. God damn, how does Meyer miss all of this subtext? I expect them to have a quick kiss in the corner. Kevin is meanwhile implied to be looking for Bree, but is unable to locate her because of Fred's revulsion aura or whatever. Bree starts getting all freaked over Diego's relationship with Riley, and then we get this little gem.
"Was it a good thing Diego was in that good with Riley after all? Maybe Riley was okay. That relationship didn't compromise what we had, did it?"
ZeldaQueen: Meyer, how do you manage this? Also "[m]aybe Riley was okay"? Woman, HOW STUPID ARE YOU? Just because he's totally in love with alright with Diego doesn't mean Riley's automatically a good person/vampire! He's still kidnapping teenagers and using them! Joseph Fritzel saved a kid from drowning, yet people still think that this is overshadowed by the fact that he locked his daughter in a basement and fathered several children by her! It's called lying and pretending, many villains in literature are capable of it!
So daylight comes and everyone crowds into the basement and basically act like a bunch of preschoolers. There's music blaring and Riley's screaming for order and I'm not impressed at all. This isn't the nightmare fuel Meyer was promising us, this is just bratty teenagers with a need to drink blood! Bree, incidentally, spends all of her time hiding behind the sofa, reading. She mentions that she always leaves the books for Fred, which is unusually nice of her. She's uncertain if he reads them or not though, since she can't "look at him closely enough to see what, exactly, he did with his time". Mm, that's what she said.
Bree mentions that neither Raoul nor Kevin find her and goes on about how effective her hiding place behind the sofa is. Erm, considering all of the super sense that these vampires have, I'd say that it's through the good will of Fred that you're staying alive, my dear. Fred, who you said earlier you only put up with because he kept you safe. And apparently he's helping you out because he's genuinely being nice. Brat. Anyway, Bree keeps trying to figure out if anyone will realize that she and Diego are now friends and decides that only Fred might know and he clearly doesn't care, since he could have easily just let her die last night.
Night comes and everyone starts getting all eager to go out and eat. Riley starts calling out ten million names about who's allowed to leave and who isn't. A bit off topic, but is it just me, or does Meyer seem to have some weird thing about randomly tossing out names? I mean, it's a good throwaway, but I don't care about any of them since I don't know them. Instead, I find myself scratching my head and wondering how Riley has memorized all of these people's names when I got the impression that he didn't particularly care about any of them. I'm almost wondering if Meyer thinks that tossing out names like that makes her work seem more impressive, like having a bunch of names floating around gives the impression that there's a larger cast and thus makes the story more interesting. Might explain the end of Breaking Dawn, if that's the case.
Riley gets all nervous when he tells Fred to go out and eat and Fred basically rolls his eyes and goes out. Fred, you're awesome. Bree notes that Riley seems very anxious and figures that he's off to visit Victoria (who is still referred to as "her". For God's sake Meyer, we know already, you're not introducing Shelob!) Bree ignores both Raoul and Diego and slips out behind Kristie. I still don't care about Raoul or Kristie, incidentally. Just thought Meyer would like to know.
Bree sneaks away and freaks out that someone is following her besides Diego and hides in a tree. Diego catches up and says that "[her] plan is hard". What, so it was that difficult to pretend he didn't know some chick he met twenty-four hours ago? Bull, I say! Bree actually considers that she's being too paranoid. And yet for all of this overplanning, she still won't consider just running away! I really can't stress that enough!
Diego apologizes for how hairy things got with Raoul and Bree is grateful that Fred is so "disgusting". Really, that's the word she uses. What a sweet little girl. Anyway, Diego goes on about how it's none of their business what Fred gets up to and how they need to go tell Riley about their sparkling secret. Bree continues to show a modicum of common sense in this department and insists that she doesn't like the thought of telling Riley about this and doesn't think it's a good idea. Diego replies that "We won’t know until we see how Riley reacts". Sorry folks, excuse me.
WHAT THE HELL? YOU'RE GOING TO TELL HIM A SECRET AND ONLY FIGURE OUT IF IT'S A GOOD IDEA AFTER YOU TELL IT TO HIM? IN THAT CASE, WHY NOT GET SOME OTHER VAMPIRES TO BACK YOU UP? GET FRED TO HIDE IN THE BUSHES AND GROSS AWAY RILEY IF THINGS GO SOUTH! BRING SOME SORT OF WEAPONS! HECK, EVEN A LIGHTER WOULD DO WONDERS! JESUS H. CHRIST MEYER, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CHARACTERS TIPTOE AROUND AND ACT LIKE THEY'RE THINKING ALL YOU LIKE! UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY SHOW ANYTHING RESEMBLING COMMON SENSE, I WILL NOT BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE THE LEAST BIT INTELLIGENT!
Ah, that felt good! So yeah, Diego proposes that they track Riley, with Bree remaining a bit behind so that Riley won't know she followed. Diego will go up and tell Riley the secret and Bree will wait and hear if Riley's cool or not. I...this is just so dumb, I really don't care at all.
There's some drivel about Riley running off to see Victoria and they're both chilled by this and both agree that whatever scheme is in place will be going down soon and they need to figure everything out quickly. So they know that Riley is visiting this woman who is ultra-secret and scary, that he makes his business kidnapping children and forcing them to be vampires, that he doesn't seem to care about their wellbeing, and that he's involved in some sort of plan that's going down. And they need to know what to figure out? RUN AWAY, YOU JACKASSES! GOD!
Bree catches on to the fact that Diego's plan basically means that he takes the fall if anything goes wrong and starts to protest. He points out that he's the one who trusts Riley and it doesn't make sense for Bree to risk getting on his bad side if something does go wrong. I have to admit, it'd be a halfway clever plan if, you know, they actually took advantage of this and had Bree spy! What Diego's basically proposing is that Bree follows him to Riley's hide-out and then turns and goes home! What use is that? Why even bring her along?
So all of my logic is ignored and the two set off, with Diego on foot and Bree swinging through the trees like Tarzan. Diego's even kind enough to rustle the tree trunks when the branches get too thick, so Bree can continue to follow him. Erm, even though she ought to have super-smell and hearing and...you know what? Just forget it. The sooner we roll with it, the sooner this is over. They reach a clearing and this is just weird.
"Less than half a mile away was a large gap in the trees, an open field that covered several acres. Near the center of the space, closer to the trees on its east side, was what looked like an oversized gingerbread house. Painted bright pink, green, and white, it was elaborate to the point of ridiculousness, with fancy trim and finials on every conceivable edge. It was the kind of thing I would have laughed at in a more relaxed situation"
ZeldaQueen: What in the everloving hell? Why, in God's green Earth, is there a cottage that looks like a fucking gingerbread house in the middle of the damned woods in Washington? At least when Bella and Edward got their convenient love shack in Breaking Dawn there was the excuse that Esme renovated it! Was there previously some people who had some bizarre fairy tale fetish or enjoyed live action role playing? Or is the implication supposed to be that Victoria herself made it like that? If so...why? What purpose does it serve? If anything, it seems counter-productive, since such a gaudy, colorful house would be easier for people to find. Is Meyer trying to be "clever" and make it like an analogy to Hansel and Gretel? Is she trying to imply that Victoria is into gaudy stuff? Because if so, bullshit! There is no evidence for that anywhere else in the series, in which we see that she has no problem roughing it and running through the woods all day. Or is this some more of Meyer's weird hatred of strong women, where Victoria can kick butt and take names and needs a bright pink house with fancy trim? I don't know. Why am I so bothered by this? It just...it makes no sense!
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the surprise. Because apparently Meyer's trying to hide the fact that this is Victoria's house. Even though, you know, they already suspected that Riley was visiting her, Bree starts wondering if this is supposed to be some sort of a back-up safe house for the newborns. She decides it isn't, just because there doesn't appear to be a basement and that it's too far from Seattle. How about the fact that it seems to be visible from three miles away or so??? YOU'RE TRYING TO STAY HIDDEN! MY GOD!!!!
Diego and Bree do some elaborate song-and-dance routine to hide their scents and then sneak closer to the house. This is when they hear "[s]trange little brushing, ticking sounds" and come to the realization that Riley and Victoria are kissing. We proceed to get human kissing compared to vampire kissing, with "[n]o soft, fleshy, liquid-filled cells to squish against each other" and I have to agree with das_mervin here. That's one hella unappealing way to describe kissing. Apparently vampires are Just So Much Better. Sucks to Meyer though, because vampire kissing just sounds weird. I get this bizarre mental image of them just tapping their lips against one another, like two birds pecking each other's beaks.
Bree freaks out at the thought of stumbling on some sort of "love nest". Diego sort of shrugs and also looks freaked out. For some reason, Bree remembers the night she was transformed. And sorry that this is so long, but you must see it before I make a point here
"I thought back to that last night of humanity, flinching as I remembered the vivid burning. I tried to recall the moments just before that, through all the fuzziness…. First there was the creeping fear that had built as Riley pulled up to the dark house, the feeling of safety I’d had in the bright burger joint dissolving entirely. I was holding back, edging away, and then he’d grabbed my arm with a steel grip and yanked me out of the car like I was a doll, weightless. Terror and disbelief as he’d leaped the ten yards to the door. Terror and then pain leaving no room for disbelief as he broke my arm dragging me through the door into the black house. And then the voice.
As I focused on the memory, I could hear it again. High and singsong, like a little girl’s, but grouchy. A child throwing a
tantrum.
I remembered what she’d said. 'Why did you even bring this one? It’s too small.' Something close to that, I thought. The words might not be exactly right, but that was the meaning.
I was sure Riley had sounded eager to please when he answered, afraid of disappointing. 'But she’s another body.
Another distraction, at least.'
I think I’d whimpered then, and he’d shaken me painfully, but he hadn’t spoken to me again. It was like I was a dog, not a person.
'This whole night has been a waste,” the child’s voice had complained. “I’ve killed them all. Ugh!'
I remembered that the house had shuddered then, as if a car had collided with the frame. I realized now that she’d
probably just kicked something in frustration.
'Fine. I guess even a little one is better than nothing, if this is the best you can do. And I’m so full now I should be able to stop.'
Riley’s hard fingers had disappeared then and left me alone with the voice. I’d been too panicked at that point to make a sound. I’d just closed my eyes, though I was already totally blind in the darkness. I didn’t scream until something cut into my neck, burning like a blade coated in acid"
ZeldaQueen: Right. Where to start on this one?
First of all, Victoria has a child's voice? Really? Since when? I never particularly got that impression. I guess her presence in the books was just so little that her movie self was what took over in my mind. I'm going to have to agree with Cleolinda Jones here - if I hadn't known better, I probably would have thought that the female vampire with a child's voice who threw tantrums was Jane.
Which leads nicely to point number two, Victoria apparently being a whiny brat despite evidence to the contrary. All I've seen of her thus far is that she's apparently collected and cunning enough to evade an army of wolves and vampires for roughly two books before someone finally offs her. Granted, they're rather stupid wolves and vampires, but the point still stands. I guess Meyer's hatred of strong women just reared its ugly head and she just had to paint the villainess who evaded the beloved Cullen clan for so long as a child throwing a tantrum. If that's the case, I find it hard to believe that she's as together as I originally thought, which ironically speaks even worse of the Cullens. Seriously, with all of their experience and power, they can't catch a vampire who's apparently a tantrumy brat?
And now to point three - the fact that this fucking memory is here at all. That's one of my peeves with the vampirism. We're constantly told that vampires find it nearly impossible to keep their human memories together and that's supposed to be their excuse for being isolated from humanity. But throughout the story, the various vampires have been able to pull out memories that suit the plot just fine. Rosalie and Jasper can tell their histories, Bella is able to remember her own past just fine, and here we see that Bree is apparently able to summon her own memory of her transformation. Oh, dress it up all you like, Meyer. Add phrases like "it's fuzzy" or "I can't remember the exact words". There's still way too much detail in that to convince me that it was mostly forgotten. So I can only conclude that Bree always had it in her power to remember her past, but just never wanted to or could be bothered. Which leads to point four...
Why in the nine hells HAS SHE NOT RUN AWAY YET??? We see here that she can conjure up her memory of being essentially kidnapped. She remembered being scared, she remembered her arm being broken and being treated like an animal, she remembered hearing that these people kidnapped other teenagers and fucking killed them and knew there was a good chance they'd kill her, and she remembered them saying how she'd be a pawn. A DISTRACTION. So why, why would she continue to stick around? I know she'd have a period of dependency on Riley to learn how to handle the bloodlust and all, but wouldn't she plan to leave just as soon as she was in control? There's none of that! All we've heard about thus far is how she thinks being a vampire is fantastic and she wouldn't trade it for anything and she's glad to stick to Riley's rules. No resentment, nothing!
Point number five - YES, THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON, YOU TWAT! YOU HEARD VICTORIA SAY SOMETHING WOULD BE GOING ON, YOU KNOW FULL WELL YOU WEREN'T TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE OUT OF ALTRUISM, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE KNOWN THIS ALREADY!!!!
Last of all, Bree clearly has the same sociopathic tendencies that Bella Swan does. Because the memory shows quite clearly that Bree recalls exactly how scared she was. How much pain she was in when she was transformed. How horrific it all was. And she knows that Riley is going out and doing the exact same things to other teenagers. And she doesn't do a damned thing to stop it! I know she's only one vampire, but surely she could convince the other newborns to turn on him as well. Would she really be the only one to remember a terrifying transformation? Not to mention the fact that she remembers being in pain as she's punted around by Riley, and shows absolutely no mercy or remorse for draining the citizens of Seattle dry. None at all.
And with that, I am done for today. Finite. That's all, folks! I wash my spork of this nonsense!
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ZeldaQueen: On an unrelated note, my friend and I saw the movie of Eclipse and damned if they didn't make Bree sympathetic in it! They didn't try to make her streetwise, they left her as a scared little girl who clearly was doing her damnedst to just not die. What the hell, Meyer? When the movie canon trumps your own, you're doing something screwy
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