ZeldaQueen: We get the ritual with Aphrodite and her cronies here. You all know what's up. This will not be pleasant
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 16
ZeldaQueen: Before we start, I feel that it's my duty to remind you all that we're more than halfway through the book, and there has been not one sign of conflict. Why the fuck have people paid money for this book?
Stevie Rae leads Zoey to a smallish building where the Dark Daughters' ritual will take place, and tells her to take her time if she meets anyone she wants to hang out with. Zoey assures Stevie Rae that she's likely to not get buddy-buddy with anyone there, and given the levels of Scary Sue, that's very much true.
We get random bashing of Zoey's sister, which makes no sense at all as we've never seen the girl, not even once. Zoey figures that they'll do the cool ritual again, break for dinner, and that would be when she'd slip out. Right. I have to agree with
midoriri here, it sounds like Zoey's getting initiated into a cult. She's been a vampire for what, a day? Two days?
Zoey heads to the door and who should open it but Erik, the old phantom himself! She starts going into Airhead Teen Mode, going on about how he looks like Clark Kent, but without the nerdy glasses and hair, because glasses are nerdy ew, and he probably looks more like Superman, but without the tights. Thank God, she shuts up when he draws the pentagram on her forehead and lets her in. She starts sniffing him and going on about how he smells like the forest and rain and it honestly sounds like Twilight in reverse, where Edward sniffs Bella and goes on about how she smells like freesia.
Inside, we see that the building is normally the gaming room, but everything is shoved aside and covered in black clothes. Because everyone here is goffic a Satanist evil. Aphrodite shows up and the Casts turn to the typical Suethor style of going on about how of course she looks normal at first glance, but look closer and she's clearly glaring coldly, smirking, has a skull and crossbone tattooed in the center of each eye, etc.
The Casts also harp on about how Erik won't look at Aphrodite and yanks his arm away from her, but I do have to admit that since she basically tried to force sex on him before, he's pretty justified in not wanting her to touch him. I'm less inclined to be gracious about the harping on how Zoey can't stop staring at him because firstly it's DAMNED CREEPY, secondly because the foreshadowing sucks, and thirdly what the fuck was she bashing Aphrodite for? Bitch.
Aphrodite drags Zoey off to the bathroom, and Zoey makes it clear that she knows that Aphrodite knows that she (Zoey) is into Erik and he into her. Wait...didn't Zoey spend most of last chapter insisting (rightly so) that there was virtually no evidence that Erik carried the torch for her?
I hate this book.
Inside the bathroom, Aphrodite tells Zoey off for coming dressed "like that", which means nothing because we were never told what Zoey was wearing. I...guess it was given a mention five chapters or so ago, when she got dressed in the evening, but it still makes no sense. Whatever. She's handed a pretty dress with sparkly red beads which actually sounds kind of pretty and I secretly kind of want it. She steps out of the stall and gets pissy because Aphrodite is staring at her Mark. And I know we're supposed to get that Zoey is annoyed that everyone keeps staring at it, but... when was the last time that was mentioned? I pretty much forgot about it by this point, truth be told.
Anyway, Aphrodite starts to go all Scary Sue and treating Zoey like a baby. Given her behavior thus far, I kind of agree. Zoey, gets all annoyed and says that she doesn't need her hand held, and Aphrodite responds with "Of course you don't need your hand held. You'll just breeze right through this little ritual like you've breezed through everything else here. I mean, after all, you are Neferet's new favorite".
A few points here.
Thank you, Miss Scary Sue, for pointing out the flaws here. Has Zoey had any significant hardship since she arrived? She's breezed through almost every class, gotten a circle of friends who do nothing but praise her, gotten the High Priestess as her mentor, instantly got the hottest guy in the school going after her (yes, we all know how that's turning out), and oh yeah, was personally blessed by a goddess! And that's not even taking into account the Sue power that we're going to find out about later. Considering that we know that Aphrodite's spent much longer at the school being groomed as the next High Priestess and, as we'll see later, has a Scary Sue power that actually has drawbacks and requires some sort of effort to use, it's rather understandable that she's jealous of Zoey.
But oh yeah, she's the Scary Sue, so we can't let her have valid points, can we? Not to mention that Zoey is Kristen Cast the Mary Sue the protagonist, so she can't actually look bad. So thus, we get Aphrodite being as over-the-top and bitchy as possible. And it only gets worse later, ladies and gentlemen, believe you me.
That bit up there about Zoey suddenly being Neferet's new favorite, apparently only by virtue of her Mark? That would make a lot more sense if the Casts had developed that bit before, about how vampires don't care about fledglings. If that were actually used as a flaw, it would make much more sense that Neferet would be over the moon about a fledgling that seems, for all intents and purposes, to be very close to maturing into a vampire.
Lastly, just wait until a few more chapters have gone by, keeping that "breezing through everything" quote in mind. There is no way in Hell it can be dismissed as exaggeration. No way at all.
Of course, Zoey's first reaction is to go on about what a jealous bitch Aphrodite is. She insists that she's not Neferet's favorite, which would hold a lot more water if it wasn't hammered into us before about how Neferet hardly ever acted as mentor for newly minted fledglings.
They go back outside and meet two bitchy Mean Girls who were with Aphrodite when she invited Zoey to this ritual. I think I forgot to mention them because they added absolutely nothing to the story besides Zoey bashing the one for dying her hair blond. And, of course, Zoey goes on about how even though they seem to be friendly, clearly they're studying their prey for signs of weaknesses. I do love how Our Heroine insists on stereotyping everyone. Double standards are just so enjoyable!
So apparently the dyed blond is named Enyo and the other is named Deino. Oh, and I think Deino is supposed to be part black. At least, Zoey describes her as "obviously mixed", which is really not the best description to use in conjunction with "had a gorgeous combination of really pretty, coffee-with-lots-of-cream skin and excellent thick, curly hair, which probably had never had the nerve to nap up on her for an instant, no matter the humidity".
Zoey freaks out at this point and goes running off. She notices that the setup of the room is akin to that of the ritual she was just at, except that there's also a chair in the middle of the room and there is an Unknown Person slumped on that chair, mysteriously hidden in a huge, black cloak. But this surely isn't important, because Zoey promptly forgets about it. Also, a lot of attention is given to a sinister knife on the table, along with how the person in the black cloak is slumped over and seems to be asleep.
We then get mention of a green mist. Okay, is this supposed to be a ritual or a haunted house? She notes that it's bay leaf, cloves and...oh my
"Well, hell! They were filling the room with pot smoke mixed with spices. Unbelievable. I'd stood up to peer pressure and for years said no to even the most polite offers to try one of those gross-looking homemade joints that get passed around at parties and whatnot. (I mean, please. Is that even sanitary? And just exactly why would I want to do a drug that made me want to obsessively eat fattening snack foods?) And now here I stood, immersed in pot smoke. Sigh. Kayla would never believe it"
ZeldaQueen: OH MY GOD, THEY'RE HIPPIE VAMPIRES! NO, WAIT, THEY REALLY ARE OUT OF MY IMMORTAL! I CAN'T DECIDE, I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD!!!
Oh, and Kayla? Kayla who? You mean that random person who was supposed to be your best friend and who you've hardly mentioned at all?
Conveniently after noting the pot *snerk*, Zoey starts to get all paranoid and make a million stupid asides. And I have to say, if she didn't make annoying asides while she's sober, I'd think that the Casts were cleverly writing it like she was gradually getting high.
So now Zoey is all dazed and paranoid and decides to make small talk with Enyo and Deino. She asks them what their names mean, and we're told that they mean "Warlike" and "Terrible" respectively. *blinks* Well, that's subtle. Oh, and the girl lighting the Pot Incense (seriously, they've got to start marketing that stuff) is named Pemphredo, which means "Wasp". Apparently they named themselves after the three sisters of Gorgon and Scylla who, "Myth says they were born as hags who shared an eye, but we decided that was probably just bullshit male-dominant propaganda written by human men who wanted to keep strong women down".
Why yes, it looks like these girls also are missing a dimension. What a surprise.
They continue to go on about how men suck and are evil and all should die, and Zoey just is staring at them. And if the story was better written, I could almost find it an amusing satire of meeting an insane person at a party. As it is, I really doubt that's the case.
At about this time the ritual starts, and we get nothing but talk about how sexual and nasty it is. First, we're told about how creepy the music is, "Like someone had mixed one of those nasty bootie-humping songs with a tribal mating dance". Then Aphrodite starts to dance, and it's described as "'Some Ho Grinds Her Bootie'". Now, what kind of a description's that? Any self-respecting smartass knows full well that the proper dance name for such an occasion is a hoe-down. *rim shot*
I'd also like to say that if the story was better written, this would come across an interestingly dark reprise to the first ritual. As it is, it just reads like "OH LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE, THEY'RE EVIL AND THUS THEIR RITUAL IS CREEPY AND SUCKS!!!"
While this is going on, incidentally, Zoey starts staring at Erik. Again, if the story was better written, I could see it as Zoey being uncomfortable and trying to look at the only person in the room she feels at all friendly with. As it is, it reads like she's trying to flirt with some guy while said guy's insane ex is doing a "crotch-flailing display".
The dance ends and Aphrodite starts moving candles and waving the knife around and calling on Nyx, and everyone starts turning east for air and all of that good stuff. Yet again, we're bashed over the head with how Zoey TOTALLY FEELS THE ELEMENTS AND FEELS A DESIRE TO JOIN APHRODITE IN THE CENTER OF THE CIRCLE TO SUMMON THE ELEMENTS, OH HOW MYSTERIOUS!!!
My head hurts.
So the ritual goes on and Zoey is all "OH-EM-GEE, WHY DO I FEEL THE POWER OF THE ELEMENTS IN ME?" and Aphrodite starts praying to Nyx for the power to kill all humans
Click to view
ZeldaQueen: A note to Ms and Ms Cast - if you make your villains so ridiculously over the top, it's very hard to take stuff like that seriously.
Also, I'm sure we're supposed to think about how eeeeevil these people are for hating humans, unlike Zoey. I have to ask, when was the last time Zoey thought about Kayla? Heath? Her parents? Her siblings? Her teachers or fellow students at her old school? Her human life at all? I mean, when has she thought about it besides thinking about how it all sucked? I think the only one is Grandma Redbird. You know, the family member who goes on about how speshul she is.
Yeah.
By this point, Aphrodite is passing around a goblet and has brought it to Zoey. Zoey takes a gulp and her thoughts pretty much validate my points above
"I definitely didn't like or trust Aphrodite, but wasn't what she was saying basically true? My mother and stepfather's reactions to my Mark came back hard and clear in my memory, along with Kayla's look of fear and Drew's and Dustin's revulsion. And how no one had called me, or even text- messaged me, since I'd been gone. They'd just let me be dumped here to deal with a new life all on my own"
ZeldaQueen: I'll comment on the contacting bit in a second. For now, I must point out that Zoey is the one who has made absolutely no effort to contact any of those people and explain anything.
She also thinks "It made me sad, but it also made me mad", because apparently the Cast ladies are on the writing level of a children's book.
Anyway, Zoey tastes the stuff in the goblet and instantly goes nutty and trying to drink it all. Aphrodite yanks it away and has a triumphant look on her face, which we'll get to in a second. As it is, Zoey basically acts like that was liquidated blend of happiness, bliss, joy, and Cheez-its that she drank, and won't shut up about how great it tasted.
So the ritual comes to an end and everyone has their post-vaguely-Satanic-ritual mingling. The lights go on and the figure in the black cloak (remember him?) sits up and we find out that it's Elliot. And even surprised, Zoey takes time to go on about how ugly he is. She actually uses his ugliness as a reason why he wasn't an actual guest there. Oy. We get note that he looks all out of it and that he has white bandages around his wrists. Zoey starts to catch on to what's happening and asks Enyo and Deino why he's there. They refer to him as a "refrigerator" and a "snack bar" and then make it clear that it was his blood that Zoey was fondly slurping down. They then start to laugh at her for enjoying the blood, going on about what a freak that makes her. Aphrodite gives Zoey a mock toast with the goblet and Zoey runs out of the building and vomits heavily, before the chapter ends.
Something before we wrap this up. That thing with Elliot? All we get is Zoey going on about how horrible he is, what a slug he is, how gross he is, etc. It might just be me, but I got the implication that he was a favored...erm refrigerator for these events, which means that the kid's been having his blood drained for who knows how many times. No one ever notices or suspects that his constant grogginess has to do with this, and just keeps treating him like a lazy bastard.
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