Journal prompt #1: Write about what comes up when you think about taking time off. Are there mixed feelings? What are they?

i don't like to travel but i feel guilty for it because i "should" like to travel. because it's an "acceptable" hobby and something everyone should strive for. i'm privileged to have a job where time off is flex and i don't ( Read more... )

wildly oscillating between:

he's the only one for me

and

he's too messy, he doesn't want me, i need someone who wants me

i guess they are not mutually exclusive feelings

he's taking up the space of someone who could want me (if anyone like that even exists - it's a gamble) i wish he would either step up or step out of the way

make decisions on ( Read more... )

Journal prompt #1 Reading over these examples, can you identify any of them that you have a consistent pattern of struggling with? You might identify with many of them or all of them, but try to narrow it down. If you suspect you avoid original pain in a way I haven't mentioned, write about it as best you can.

dissociating or looking at it in a ( Read more... )

you can be with a defective or damaged person, because you're a defective person. you can't be with a normal good person.

you just have to find someone who is defective but at least not evil. someone who has learned to manage their defectiveness and find workarounds for their brokenness and be functional, like you do.

you don't get to have ( Read more... )

you want someone to fight for you, make a display of choosing you, to "prove" they keep choosing you with demonstrations of loyalty even though you'll never really trust it

i want to be a child again, i want someone caring and loving and giving to recognize i'm a deficient malformed bad person and say "that's okay i'm capable enough for the both of ( Read more... )

Journal prompt #1 List some examples from your adulthood of instances where you struggle to allow yourself to be seen.

taking up space of any kind or taking it up for too long (more than a few secs)
sharing my opinion if its not in agreement with the room (unless it's really benign like i don't like onions or something)
talking about myself unless ( Read more... )

Self

1. My inner child believes that others think of them as- weird, obnoxious, annoying, off-putting, stupid/naive/immature

2. My inner child wishes they were more - high fem, graceful, smart, talented, ethereal, beautiful

3. Around others, my inner child never wants to be too - loud, obnoxious, needy, stupid, annoying, disgusting, gross

4. My ( Read more... )

and my bones feel raw on the inside like they've been hollowed out and scraped clean. my head is stuffed full of cotton and knots.

there's workers scheduled to come in the unit to fix my window in a few minutes, maybe it's just the anxiety of having strange men inside my home.

but i know it's not just that. it's the realization i will always be ( Read more... )

Journal Prompt #1 What does it look like when my inner adult comes online, even if it's sporadic and short? Write out specific examples where you've been in your inner adult which might have surprised you such as setting a boundary with someone while being a bit dissociated but you were still firm.

when i'm dissociated but aware of what i'm ( Read more... )

Journal Prompt #1 Going over the list, can you identify 5-6 issues that you have a consistent pattern of struggling with? You can identify with many, but try to narrow it down. An issue you struggle with might be missing from my list. Add the issue as best as you can.

- Consistent guilt or shame - i'm definitely "lessor than" others who are non- ( Read more... )