I give up on the updates

[zenithgryph]

My entries will start to flop around too much if I start changing what's going on with my life in regards to housing and such. To be short: it's in the air and I have no f*cking clue. Parents are cheaper, even if gas is 2x more a month

Comments

[jdredd5150]

i haven't said anything because this sort of thing is always touchy and i really didn't want to say anything that might prod you further into depression or anything. hey, who knows?

anyway, just wanted to say, i'm still reading your journal, and i can relate on many many levels to what you're going through. i'm hoping you come out on top of things. from the little while i've known you, i know that you're a strong gal. you've got yet another person here who's hoping things work out for you.

[zenithgryph]

Thanks. I've heard that I'm "strong" several times over the course of these days. I'm still wondering if I beleive it entirely.

Thanks for the comment. It means a lot to know there are still people out there who pay attention.

[jdredd5150]

your world has been pretty much upended, so of course you doubt if it's true or not.

but you know it's not the end of the world, and it sucks and it hurts now, but you can keep going on with your life, and things will be better eventually. you're strong enough to not let it decimate you, even though it hurts; you are still going, and that's all that matters.

[zenithgryph]

But Jesus fucking christ, all I can think of sometimes is the pain... and how much of a goddamned choas my nice little world has been.

And to top it all off -- I f*cked it up.

ME. So on top of the pain, chaos, confusion, I get self-loathing and all that guilt.

Goddamn miracle I'm not suicidal.

[crystal_phoenix]

*just squishes*