Comments | zesh: A great thought from Adina...

zesh

A great thought from Adina...

Aug 26, 2006 06:39

A game she tried, and it looked fun.

"If you have one question for me, one question that I would have to answer true, what would you ask of me?"

Yes, only one question dammit! and I reserve the right to answer privately, but know that I will.

Comments 12

josabry August 26 2006, 13:32:45 UTC

Are you happy? and I don't mean "gee, I had a yummy cheesesteak for dinner" happy. I mean, really, truly satisfied with life.

why would i ask the easy ones? (not my question, purely retorical!!)

-s

For when I am. zesh August 26 2006, 14:05:03 UTC

I have to admit... in terms of work, I'm exhilarated. I just can't stop once I get in house. I love being here, I love working; it's so addictive it's just not right. Which is good, considering I'm way over eighty hours a week.

In terms of my social life, I wish I had more time but I can't complain. I'm surrounded by, if anything, too many fantastic people so that I can't keep up! I usually am with the three or four that are within a few minutes, and I'm happy. And she has been wonderful.

As for my family... meh. We get along, it's nobody's fault. I'm not sure if there's a way things will work out, but when have I ever been?

Overall... god yes. I'm so happy. Mostly because I love my work, and almost all of my life these days is my work. Otherwise I can't complain. I'm doing well otherwise, got great friends, and my parents are far enough that it's hard to organize visit time. Perfect. :)

meepkitty August 26 2006, 14:46:07 UTC

Do you realize how much you mean to folks? I don't mean only the people you help at your work, but us too? :)

Do I even realize... zesh August 30 2006, 10:32:49 UTC

God no. Absolutely not, across the board. It's not just at work - I'm always astonished when people tell me "I'm going to be a chief" or some such at work, and I always wonder if they're just trying to make me feel better. In terms of medical knowledge I'm the bottom of the barrel here. My family always thinks I'm worth more on the marital market than I believe. As for my friends... I can't believe that people want to spend time with an asshole such as myself. Sometimes... many times... I am completely disgusted with myself. The base thoughts, crass emotions, barely kept in check by some rudimentary semblance of gentility...

I'm just amazed y'all haven't woken up sometimes. :) And thankful. God knows I'm thankful; I pray almost every day and thank him for you all.

My one question adina77 August 27 2006, 00:08:43 UTC

What is your biggest regret that you wish you could take back and do over?

Re: My one question zesh August 30 2006, 10:36:58 UTC

Of all the questions so far, this one made me think the longest. So many regrets... so, so many regrets. And there are many contenders for the top regret - from people I've dealt with poorly in relationships to times I burned my parents to the ground, times I wish I had just slept and times I wish I hadn't said things. Friends I've lost for one comment...

If I could do one thing over, I guess I'd have worked harder (and smarter!) in college. I was in Hopkins for goodness sake; if I had been able to make it to a US med school, maybe I wouldn't have lost her. Maybe I wouldn't have been twisted and warped by social isolation for so many months. Maybe I would have actually had my dream of being in Academic Medicine, rather than scrounging for it now. People say I landed on my feet... it's still so far from where I wanted to jump to.

Re: My one question adina77 August 30 2006, 13:37:53 UTC

wow. In my eyes, it think you are doing a great job. I dont know how you can do it by being a doctor and working all those long hours and what not. At least you landed on your feet instead of your head.

steelvictory August 27 2006, 02:14:29 UTC

What is your favorite color besides black?

Sorry, didn't feel like measuring up to the all the philosophical questions tonight. *grin*

zesh August 30 2006, 10:37:23 UTC

Ironically enough, probably the color of arterial blood. :-P

steelvictory August 30 2006, 11:32:39 UTC

*rolls eyes* You are such a goof.

muppetmayhem August 29 2006, 13:42:30 UTC

Ironically, My first thought on this was the same as above. Are you happy? But since this has been answered I will ask another.

Besides being a doctor, what is the one thing that you want to accomplish in life?

zesh August 30 2006, 10:43:41 UTC

Now, you should know me a LOT better than to think that *one* thing is going to placate Zeshan in terms of accomplishments. I want to get into Academic Medicine, I want a fellowship that I like... but in other arenas, I guess the one accomplishment I want most now is to achieve a life where everyone around me is happy, including myself. There are habits and hobbies that have sustained themselves for decades or more in my life; I have great friends that share some or many of them... or most in some cases. I want them to still be around. I want to keep enjoying those things, and I want to find someone that will enjoy those things. On the other hand, I have a really skewed perception of my cultural background - one that really doens't fit either here or there. But I like me the way I am; I made me this way for reasons. Believe it or not, I am becoming the person I dreamt of being. Sure, I could stand to lose a few pounds. And yes, internship is helping bring out the asshole in me. But when it's all over... I feel like I will have ( ... )