Try this again

[zevhonith]

I miss you guys, though I have not much of anything to write about. What say we do an anonymous post? Hopefully I've spent enough time sequestered from the world that for once it won't be about me; I want to know what's going on with you. You are fascinating, even if I don't get to match name to story. Tell me the thing that's on your mind, the

Comments

[anonymous]

I'm having serious doubts about the relationship I'm in. The trouble is that for many reasons, I can't get out of it very easily and I know I have to for the benefit of both of us. I feel trapped and I'm beginning to hate my SO.

[zevhonith]

Wow, that seriously sucks. :( Can you talk to your SO about it? I'm sure they'd prefer to be single than be hated by someone they love.

[wolflady26]

The biggest thing on my mind right now is re-adjusting to being back in Germany. It's weird going each way, and I'm still off, time-wise and emotion-wise. There are some things that I'd like to change, and I'm not sure how. My time always seems to slip away at home, and that's gotta stop.

[zevhonith]

I realized recently that I've been really terrible about letting time slip away from me at home. I've made more of an effort recently to do things in smaller bursts, which tends to energize me more all around.

Maybe you need a break while you readjust, though! There's nothing wrong with taking a couple weeks to figure out where you are geographically and emotionally.

[anonymous]

I'm more afraid about visiting my relatives than I am afraid of the thought that I might never see them again. I've never had to deal with family members dying right in front of me, and I'm afraid that my grandmother might die while we are out there, and that I won't know how to handle it. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to have it happen before we even get there. Which I know is a terrible thought.

[zevhonith]

I don't think that's such a terrible thought. I would certainly have the same fear if any of my relatives were near death; but I haven't been close to them for much of my life, so I don't know if that's the same or not.

Just remember that *nobody* really knows how to handle it well. Will there be someone you can lean on a little?

[anonymous]

I haven't been close to them for most of my life either. Both of my parents' dads died within a month of each other, and it didn't really affect me at all. I'd never been close to them, so it was hard to tap into any sort of feeling about it. What was sad about that was seeing both my parents hurting so badly, all while I felt so cold inside.

Now it is happening to a relative that while I haven't actually spent much time with her, I feel much closer to her than I do to any of my other relatives. What I fear is that it will happen while I'm there and again I won't be able to feel anything. It's not that I don't have someone there to lean on, but that I don't know how to console the people it will affect the most. Especially since the one person that it will hurt the most can't be there with her, and must live with the knowledge that their mother is going to die without getting to see her one last time.

[zevhonith]

Try not to worry too much about how you're supposed to feel. You don't even know for sure what will happen. Just be however you feel like being - hopefully your family will understand that death isn't easy for anyone. :(

[anonymous]

I've never been so scared or sad in my life.

[zevhonith]

:(

Is there anything you can change? Is it something you just have to process, or is it something you're continuing to do?

[anonymous]

Well, I am pregnant. I have known for a good amount of time, the father knows. We are happy and excited!! I have all kinds of emotion that follow. I look forward to all the joys of being a mother. It is interesting how my body is changing, it seems so primal. Like I am getting more and more in touch with some lost sense. It's really neat and odd at the same time. I feel this is what has caused a lot of my distress. Just the physical changes are a lot then add emotions and mental too. Wow!!! Though I am scared shit-less, I wouldn't change it.
I am afraid to make it public knowledge. Mostly because I think that no one really needs to know and it will make itself around soon enough.... ;P

Congratulations!!

[zevhonith]

So don't! Don't tell anyone until you start showing, if you like. It's your thing, do what feels comfortable to you. Does the father agree that it's not quite time to tell people?

Re: Congratulations!!

[anonymous]

Thank you! Well he has really left that up to me. We have told all of our family with the exception of the extended. This will be the first grandchild on his side and third on mine. It's very exciting.

Re: Congratulations!!

[zevhonith]

I'm very excited to eventually find out who you are so I can congratulate you more heartily. :) I'm excited for you anyway, though. :)