Joppa is the Ranch where I lived as a little girl. After my parents divorced Dad remarried living in the same house til about 8 years ago. The house is over a hundred years old and has been in the family ever since. Anyway, no one lives there now and it's not livable anymore because there is a problem with mold in the walls and raccoons also tore ( Read more... )

It was a good Christmas this year. I saw just about everyone in my family, even my Uncle Buddy whom I haven't seen in at least 10 years. Some things never change, haha. The only person I wasn't able to visit was Greg, I just didn't get a chance to stop by the cemetery. I thought a lot about him, and as usual it really came over me at Mom's house. ( Read more... )

I remember when I was only twelve or thirteen years old and in the eighth grade. I was in band, and at one of the football games I was sitting on the very top bleacher of the "band section". This guy whom in my opinion was cute, was in the very front... and he kept turning around and smiling at me. It was so obvious that he insisted in such a way ( Read more... )

This evening I went out with some friends to a Sushi restaurant. The food was great and I had a good time. It was nice to get out of the apartment and out of my own bubble ( Read more... )

Life suddenly seems dull. I just don't feel like myself and I'm tired of people assuming that I'm still the same person. I don't go downtown all the time and get entirely fucked up beyond belief. And those people that still see me that way have no clue that they are just the same with their weed, and their bad decision making, along with their ( Read more... )

I keep thinking. I can't stop thinking. What the hell happened last night? Most importantly of the situation, was it ME? I don't see how it could've been something to do with me. He could've said something awful, or un-true, but he didn't. I should be thankful, because it could've been worse and he really could've butchered my ego. HE is not a big ( Read more... )

I've been avoiding my thoughts on the situation with Gabe. The email is still pending and has not been read, however, he has only logged in once since then. Sarah informed me that Michael had asked what was going on between Gabe and I. Sarah didn't go into depth about it with him, but Michael did inform her that Gabriel was so worried about the ( Read more... )

Well I sent the letter (email) to Gabe. Can't believe I *actually* did it and you know what? I slept incredibly good last night. All of that shit was burning a whole in me and I'm glad I decided not to hold my tongue any longer. However, something odd....... He called last night once he got off of work. I didn't answer because I didn't know if this ( Read more... )

Hey ( Read more... )

Zombie like
in my bedroom light
A monster that can't scream
that can't cry
that is too numb to wonder
why i'm so stale
why i'm still harboring more than enough
my lips are sealed
eyes
painfully dry

aching bones
a tired mind
a caving soul where
weakness minds it's own

trying to let go of my tongue
and fight the fight
with someone other than