John and I had arranged a movie projector home theater night...... and Mr. Projector-Bringer flaked. I saw it coming but still had hope. He says he still wants to do it, at "2 or 3 in the morning" !!!!! Yeah, so now no one is coming over. It was an all or nothing kind of thing, as usual ( Read more... )

Gabriel has been acting really weird lately. He's been very closed off and we haven't hungout in like two weeks.......... and I've given up on the whole idea of him and I ever being more than friends. It bums me out to think about it, but I've got nothing to hold on to anymore. I can't wait around for something that may never happen ( Read more... )

Some times when I look in the mirror it appears that I am losing weight, (considering I've been working out at least three times a week and eating better). And some times it's like, "Geeze, I'm still fat." It really all depends on how I feel in general. I keep telling myself to be realistic..... my body fat is not going to melt away and it is ( Read more... )

I had a dream that Mamaw and Ty had both passed away. I was crying in the dream and woke up to the sound of my own voice.... but I did not wake up crying ( Read more... )

I just can't get into the downtown scene as much I used to. I really have to be in the mood...... and that can be considered a good thing. When I DO go I want to see all the people I used to see...... but it's not the same any more. Time has gone by and I almost feel out of my element. I feel very out of touch with certain people, as though we are ( Read more... )

I hopped into my car to rush to class around 2:30pm today and as I was taking off the trunk of my car opened. A guy in a bathing suit (whom I had exchanged maybe two words with at the pool once) watching me. I jumped out of the car and hopped back in.... and since he was watching decided to wave. He was good looking, heh ( Read more... )

"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable." - Mark Twain

"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell." - Anonymous

"Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address." ~Lane Olinghouse

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Shayne seems to have a new interest. I know he hasn't been serious with a deaf girl, (nor any girl) for almost six years now, but this girl....... well, he just seems to really like her. Part of me is jealous that it can't be me. Realistically - IT JUST CAN'T - because there are so many barriers. But that doesn't make it easy for me not care or ( Read more... )

I can't shake these feelings I have for Shayne. At first I'd wondered if they were actual feelings towards him - or just the idea of him. Maybe it's both. And maybe my heart has grown fonder because until last night I hadn't seen him since things have been "called off ( Read more... )