I know this blog is deader than Monty Python's parrot, but I need somewhere to vent.

I'm drinking my morning coffee and surfing the web, brain waking up, shields down, and one of my first stops is The Huffington Post. It's not exactly a personal touchstone, but they usually have one or two things I want to click on. I scroll down the page, feelers ( Read more... )

Hey, Arcade Fire is really good.

For dinner I made two packets of chile-flavored ramen noodles and added a can of chile without beans for chile mac or, as I like to call it, My Dog Has Worms.

Eek! It's almost midnight and I just realized I hadn't written a post for today.

I've been looking all over my place for more CDs for my Christmas project and not finding them. ADD sucks.

Music: Lou Reed's Sally Can't Dance. That's something that drifts in and out of my awareness without ever catching hold, those slots in the LiveJournal template where you input supplementary details like "Music" and "Current Mood." I tend to ignore LJ's formal possibilities, writing little self-contained essays that aren't much different from the ( Read more... )

I had a good time down in the city last night. The topic of the meeting was relationships. I talked for a change, the same bleak confessional stuff I've occasionally used here. That felt good. Afterwards, in the diner, the seating got disrupted, and I sat with different people than usual. My friend Barbara accused me of sitting at the cool table, ( Read more... )

It's raining out. I can see a block of grey sky though the sliding door and the tree branches, and I hear the tires zipping through water on the road. Wednesday is my day to go down to the city, and I am so not into it. My umbrella is broken, trashed by a windy storm last month, and it's not even my umbrella, but borrowed from Angie Cruz, Kung fu ( Read more... )

I've always been obsessed with women's bodies. I'd stare at them openly while my guts tied themselves in knots with desire. I thought it was sexual desire. I thought I was attracted to women.

I wasn't.

But gender dysphoria is physically and emotionally loud, and it drowned my sexuality out. I thought I was a heterosexual male. I pursued women. ( Read more... )

So to celebrate finishing the first week of OBloPoMo, I will have an anxiety attack and crawl under my shell ( Read more... )

My family had a summer house. I was reminded of it recently when a big chunk of a toenail broke off. I've been letting the coppery nailpolish wear off my feet since the weather turned too cold for open-toed shoes, and the worn flecks of metallic glitter still on the pearlescent grey nail made it look exactly like a sand dollar. Immediately, ( Read more... )