I'm still having trouble eating. I miss the way you used to hold me. It wasn't ideal, but I liked what I could get. You'd be reading and I'd curl up beside you. You'd let me lay my head in the crook of your shoulder and wrap myself around your warmth. I remember being completely intoxicated by your scent. I miss your smile and giving every ounce of ( Read more... )

I loved you, I loved you openly, with every inch of my heart. There wasn't a part of myself or a dark crevice inside of my soul that I hid from you. I laid myself before love's sacred fire and I didn't shy away from the searing heat. I fought for you until I had no strength left, until well beyond that.  I was perfect for you. I listened to you, I ( Read more... )

It's late and I should be packing/moving or sleeping. But instead I need to write.  I needed to listen to this song, and I need to relinquish.

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I need to relinquish all fear and pain,  let go and just let the universe move me. I fight so hard, until all my energy is up,  until I don't even remember what I'm fighting for,  Until I'm completely drained ( Read more... )

If you need someone to fight for you, all you have to do is give them the chance to. The only fear is that they won't, and if they don't, then they're not worth it. They're not worthy of you. I'd lived with this fear my whole lfie I think, I'd met a lot of people not worthy, a lot of people who wouldn't fight for me.  So, this time, this time I ( Read more... )

it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

laying with M- this morning I came to the realization just how very different E- is to me. E- is like that feeling you get when you go running through a summer rain.  That freeing beautiful good for yourself kind of love and admiration.  I think maybe I let things with M- progress too far but I did it to gain a deeper understanding of how I felt ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm in this giant state of flux right now. That feeling you get when you float in the swimming pool, face down, eyes open, lost ins pace, directionless, not having enough care inside of you to pick something to do about it, just holding your breath until your lungs burn.

E- wrote me this letter today, something that I knew he's been ( Read more... )

We all have bad habits, I guess it's time I Face mine ( Read more... )

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As I hear this song, I think about E- and I.  Perhaps it is that I am just young, that I haven't been old enough to be tainted, that I haven't lost it yet.  E- isn't exactly passionate.  What I miss about A-  we had this violent sweet passionate flame and drive towards one each other like two forest fires threatening to strangle each one out, leave ( Read more... )

I've been focusing on this coin flip theory for about a week now.


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