I went home this week feeling confused and overwhelmed, questioning and lost in my relationship ( Read more... )

Back in Lancaster until Sunday, survived the hurricane, had an interesting, destined to meet, moment in my life, on the plane, will detail more later. Kelly, if you get this. I lost my phone, have a new one etc, please send me your number! Or you'll find me at your door in the middle of the night knocking

So turns out, my incident the other day, was a grand mal siezure. because of it, I'm coming home for a week, will give you my flight details/information as soon as its available

Sunday I laid down for a nap, at around noon, I woke up/came to at like 4pm. I was covered in bruises, hurting all over, and had a black eye. I was so disoriented and confused, I had no idea what happened. I was scared so I went to stay with E. The next day, Monday, E and his sister convinced me to go to the hospital and get checked out. I got a ( Read more... )

A lot has happened and I'll catch the rest of you up later but, things are going well. Lately I've been under a lot of stress with planning E-'s surprise party, redecorating his condo, and working my way through/studying for my engineering job. (one interview to go and I have the job ( Read more... )

It's been awhile since I've posted and perhaps it is my own guilty conscious attempting to hide my actions from myself, maybe to hide my shame ( Read more... )

I loved A- because I was bound to him, there was always this invisible string pulling us together and when he tugged on that string, I could feel it pull my heart. When he aches, my heart aches to be near him. Even with the weeks without contact, even with the scars he left, my heart pulls on that string desperately to feel the other end of it ( Read more... )

Sometimes I'm confused by the sheer process of being human. Growing up, being upset, getting angry. Forgiveness. Sometimes just learning to forgive is confusing to me ( Read more... )

My song to A

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So in the midst of my depression I went to see E-. Though I so desired to be cured up alone sulking on the couch, not sleeping not eating and watching hours of Dr. Who, I went. Sometimes we have to stop hurting ourselves. Even though we desperately want to, even though it's a process of digging out the wound, we have to be brave for ourselves. We ( Read more... )