i read the classifieds, and i go so far back - my hope doesn't just encompass the present, and stretch out to the future, it even desperately reaches into the past. maybe i can rewind in printed time, and somehow get on a desirable track. im drunk, and we don't fuck, again. you go home and make love to yourself, your face in the mirror, the bleach ( Read more... )

there is only about one other thing i could wish for...

mega jerk lottery
today's number is...
sara's new un-bf

so many things can be so daunting in life that you never even attempt them. you spend more energy avoiding and ignoring them than you do confronting them. i wonder which is more daunting; talking or never talking to you again. whichever is more daunting is the one i must choose. it's just that negative... fainting, goodbye. 

so unfortunately still awake. i went to the poet tree reading at filigrees yesterday. it was offbeat and amazing. i read. everyone was digging up stuff from their lj's. it was so adorable. such a good community. things got crazy. im still 2 days later from that poetry explosion. things got intimate in multiple ways. 

trying to drown my pain in a television
i'm so mad you ruined almost everything i
l.
o.
v.
e.
d.
d.
e.
a.
d.
r.
e.
d.

de=ad

trying to numb your soul
with king of the hill
d
r
e
a
d

dead.
red.
dread.

and mint green.

getting re-used to being alone.

it's so masturbatory, and i've always preferred old-fashioned sex,
turn of-the-century prostitute
who am i to dispute
your chaste ( Read more... )

i was too happy being single, he had to come back at 5am drunk and beat me.

he went through my most private possessions, and he's the victim.

he actually accused me of thoughtcrime.

yes, i cheated on him. and god created the world in 7 days.

my bf didnt give me a xmas gift :( so it goes..

i wish i was more awake, less tired. i had a super eventful day. im meaning to write more, and i feel i might finally feel stable and comfortable enough to do so. for the record, my apartment has fleas. and remember that time i dropped out of grad school? that's so last month, but i felt like i should put it in here. not a lot of fleas, not ( Read more... )

my beautiful, beautiful levitating dog.