(no subject)
Title: Heartache Every Moment
Chapter Title: Restless
Author: slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: PG
Pairing: Max/Tom, Danny/Ryan
Disclaimer: Fake as the claims that putting Paris on homearrest isn't favoritism
Hmm
OMG
No Way
End
Run
Thomas's POV
I tell my captain, his lover, and my roommate to leave with a solemn look in my eyes I know can't be missed, and reluctantly they obey.
I beg the nurses to leave too, silently pleading for them to let me die in peace, knowing that I might as well check myself into Jones Hill now if I were to say that aloud. When they're gone, I grab a bottle of sleeping pills out of a nearby cabinet and down them with a glass of water, needing to be unconscious to stop the excruciating pain. It feels like my chest is being torn apart like an unraveling rug every second I think of what I've done to Max, and I don't think I can take much more of it.
I curl into a ball, immediately out, as the pills take effect on my system. I'm sleeping deeply, but goddamnit, the sleep isn't dreamless.
I'm in a room that looks like the inside of a lightbulb and all I can hear is Max's voice saying, "How could you hurt me like this?I love you! I'm dying, Tom, and it's all your fault!" repeatedly, like a chorus that is to seal my fate, a mantra that is pounding through my head.
As if that isn't worse enough, a string of memories of our friendship is shown across a screen in front of me, like a drive-in movie, things like watching tv with him on his couch until he fell asleep on my shoulder, feeding him strawberry ice cream, playing hockey with him and helping him score the winning goal, things that are my poison, killing me as I realize they'll never happen again. I try to leave, try to escape the chair I'm sitting in and run out of the lightbulb room, tortured by the images playing over the flat screen, but my arms and legs are bound to it with ropes of Maxim Afinogenov jerseys, more that I can't bear to look at.
I shut my eyes but the volume grows louder and the picture grows brighter until I can almost see it through my eyelids, trying desperately to shut it out as regret surrounds my body like a cloud of smoke, sorrow dragging me down from where I'm struggling against my bonds. I can't get away, no matter what I try. I'm doomed to watch what I lost for the rest of eternity, with no way out.
I wake in the hospital, hearing the endless scream of a tortured soul with my hands clutching my head in agony. It takes me a while to realize the soul screaming is me, and even then I can't stop. I continue to yell out my misery, eyes closed but tears seeping from under their lids anyway, curled into the fetal position against the pain I can feel in my every body part.
Danny and Ryan come flying into my room, eyes wide with horror. They stop and stare at me for a moment, but only a moment before Danny steps closer and sits on my bed, pulling me into his arms and rocking me tenderly. I'm still screaming as he presses me against his chest, but it only takes me a minute to stop and just cry. I sob into his shirt, mumbling nonsense into the fabric about how I've lost Max forever and all I wanted to do was stay friends with him. He sways back and forth, rocking me like a scared child, as Ryan looks on in terrified wonder.
"Shhhh, it's okay, Tommy, it's alright. Yeah, I know, shhhh...." He mutters comforting words into my ear until I can stop crying, letting me pull away from his shirt to sit back and wipe my eyes. "You didn't want to, did you."
I look up, surprised, as I blow my nose on the horribly ugly hospital gown I'm wearing. "Hm?"
Danny sighs, clasping Ryan's fingers in his and pulling him onto the bed with us with a worried look at me. "You didn't want to send him away, did you. There's something bigger going on and you didn't want him to find out, so you ended your friendship."
I look away, knowing Daniel's smart enough to see the truth in my eyes. "I don't want to see him anymore. End of story."
Danny knows when it's time to drop the subject, and he does, though a skepticism still plays in his eyes.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's breaking my heart to put them through this....but all will be explained in time. Comment?
Chapter Title: Restless
Author: slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: PG
Pairing: Max/Tom, Danny/Ryan
Disclaimer: Fake as the claims that putting Paris on homearrest isn't favoritism
Hmm
OMG
No Way
End
Run
Thomas's POV
I tell my captain, his lover, and my roommate to leave with a solemn look in my eyes I know can't be missed, and reluctantly they obey.
I beg the nurses to leave too, silently pleading for them to let me die in peace, knowing that I might as well check myself into Jones Hill now if I were to say that aloud. When they're gone, I grab a bottle of sleeping pills out of a nearby cabinet and down them with a glass of water, needing to be unconscious to stop the excruciating pain. It feels like my chest is being torn apart like an unraveling rug every second I think of what I've done to Max, and I don't think I can take much more of it.
I curl into a ball, immediately out, as the pills take effect on my system. I'm sleeping deeply, but goddamnit, the sleep isn't dreamless.
I'm in a room that looks like the inside of a lightbulb and all I can hear is Max's voice saying, "How could you hurt me like this?I love you! I'm dying, Tom, and it's all your fault!" repeatedly, like a chorus that is to seal my fate, a mantra that is pounding through my head.
As if that isn't worse enough, a string of memories of our friendship is shown across a screen in front of me, like a drive-in movie, things like watching tv with him on his couch until he fell asleep on my shoulder, feeding him strawberry ice cream, playing hockey with him and helping him score the winning goal, things that are my poison, killing me as I realize they'll never happen again. I try to leave, try to escape the chair I'm sitting in and run out of the lightbulb room, tortured by the images playing over the flat screen, but my arms and legs are bound to it with ropes of Maxim Afinogenov jerseys, more that I can't bear to look at.
I shut my eyes but the volume grows louder and the picture grows brighter until I can almost see it through my eyelids, trying desperately to shut it out as regret surrounds my body like a cloud of smoke, sorrow dragging me down from where I'm struggling against my bonds. I can't get away, no matter what I try. I'm doomed to watch what I lost for the rest of eternity, with no way out.
I wake in the hospital, hearing the endless scream of a tortured soul with my hands clutching my head in agony. It takes me a while to realize the soul screaming is me, and even then I can't stop. I continue to yell out my misery, eyes closed but tears seeping from under their lids anyway, curled into the fetal position against the pain I can feel in my every body part.
Danny and Ryan come flying into my room, eyes wide with horror. They stop and stare at me for a moment, but only a moment before Danny steps closer and sits on my bed, pulling me into his arms and rocking me tenderly. I'm still screaming as he presses me against his chest, but it only takes me a minute to stop and just cry. I sob into his shirt, mumbling nonsense into the fabric about how I've lost Max forever and all I wanted to do was stay friends with him. He sways back and forth, rocking me like a scared child, as Ryan looks on in terrified wonder.
"Shhhh, it's okay, Tommy, it's alright. Yeah, I know, shhhh...." He mutters comforting words into my ear until I can stop crying, letting me pull away from his shirt to sit back and wipe my eyes. "You didn't want to, did you."
I look up, surprised, as I blow my nose on the horribly ugly hospital gown I'm wearing. "Hm?"
Danny sighs, clasping Ryan's fingers in his and pulling him onto the bed with us with a worried look at me. "You didn't want to send him away, did you. There's something bigger going on and you didn't want him to find out, so you ended your friendship."
I look away, knowing Daniel's smart enough to see the truth in my eyes. "I don't want to see him anymore. End of story."
Danny knows when it's time to drop the subject, and he does, though a skepticism still plays in his eyes.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's breaking my heart to put them through this....but all will be explained in time. Comment?